


A Scientific Match

by BML1997



Series: A Scientific Romance [1]
Category: Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2020-10-06 21:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 46,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BML1997/pseuds/BML1997
Summary: Kowalski decides to try again with his Love-U-Lator invention, this time with his own DNA. However, when the device leads him to a certain dolphin's lair, he finds out more than just random test result. A Kowalski x Dr. Blowhole fanfic.





	1. The Love-U-Lator 6000

** _ Chapter 1: The Love-U-Lator 6000_**

"Test log number 5089. Love-U-Lator 6000. So last version of my perfect match invention did not appear to work and gave false positives. I've reworked my equations and built it again completely. I'm not going to get Marlene's hopes up again to test this, so instead I am running said test using my own DNA sample."

Kowalski ran a cue tip over his tongue and dropped it into the machine. He pressed a few buttons and sighed.

"I'll admit, I doubt it will work. As Private says, science really shouldn't meddle with affairs of the heart...But it would be nice if it did work. Not to admit that I'm lonely...but I am rambling to a tape recorder," he grumbled.

He shook his head and pressed a few buttons on his contraption before picking up his tape recorder again. He watched as the screen showed nothing.

"So far my perfect match is nonexistent. Expanding parameters to outside of Central Park."

The screen remained empty.

"I'm starting to realize a potential flaw with using my own DNA for this test. There is of course the possibility that...that I don't have a match and should have used the DNA of someone more...normal," he sighed and clicked another button. "Extending parameters to outside of New York."

Nothing.

"Extending parameters to outside of the Mid-Atlantic region…"

A small heart shaped blip appeared on the map. His heart skipped a beat and for a moment, he was speechless.

"A p-possible match is showing along the New Jersey shoreline..."

He turned off the tape recorder and just looked at the map. As he could see it, he had two options. He could follow the map and see who his invention thought would be his perfect match ...Or he could just turn the map off and forget this ever happened. As Skipper would say, nothing good ever came from New Jersey.

However, this was Kowalski of course.

So, he took the travel module from his device and waddled out of the lab. He glanced at the bunks, and was pleased to see that his teammates were sleeping. He then quietly hopped up the stairs and gently shut the hatch behind himself.

Momentarily it crossed his mind how many rules he was breaking. A slight smirk crept upon his beak. Of course, he would be back before Skipper would wake in the morning so no one would know about his gallivanting. Like usual.

How many times now had Kowalski left the HQ alone after lights out? More times than he could even recount. Skipper had noticed a couple of times, but made the mistake about asking him about cameras. It wasn't long after that he did a bug sweep of his lab and found the cameras. Of course, he technically left them alone ...but not without adding a remote implemented loop recording function. After all, if Skipper was allowed to keep secrets from the team, why couldn't he? Skipper was his commander during working hours...but during free-time, Kowalski liked to think he was his own commander and Skipper's rules were just...aggressive suggestions.

Kowalski opened the garage and hopped into the little zoo coup. One of these days, he was going to have to either upgrade this car with more leg room, like the planes, or just construct another vehicle altogether with adjustable seats. He sighed, and propped the Love-U-Later module on the dashboard as a GPS.

Could he have slid to the location? Perhaps. But Seaside Heights was already nearly two hours away by car. He had no urge to discover first hand how long that would be by physically sliding. He wanted to be back before dawn after all.

And so he drove. Alone. In the dark. With the radio cranked up so he could hear it over the sounds of the interstate and sing along.

As he approached Seaside, he turned off the radio and found a place to hide the coup. He would continue the rest of the way with more stealth…Why exactly he felt the need to be stealthy, he wasn't sure. Maybe it was just from his nervousness, or perhaps Skipper's paranoia was starting to rub off on him.

He glanced at the module and adjusted his path accordingly. It was not long until it led him to the Casino Pier, a beach boardwalk amusement park. All of the lights were off and the fence was locked, so it must be after midnight. He looks again at the module.

"Well, this makes no sense. What sort of animals would live here? Squirrels and pigeons? Raccoons?" He shook his head. He had a hard time imagining himself with typical city fauna. "Maybe instead of a Love-U-Later I've invented a squirrel tracker...But what that would have to do with my DNA and why it would lead me to a squirrel in New Jersey when I know we have tons of squirrels back in New York, I have no idea. This makes no sense."

Kowalski leaned against the fence and looked around. He had bet this would be another failure. He had just wasted his time driving to New Jersey.

And got his own hopes up for nothing.

He then stood up straight as he heard a noise. He glanced around for a place to hide and then slid into a bush. He swallowed back the panic he felt constricting his chest, watching between the leaves as a lobster shaped shadow crawls by.

A lobster shadow?

Kowalski's eyes widened. If there were lobsters around this amusement park, then that could only mean one was one of Dr. Blowhole's lairs. Suddenly, this experiment became both more dangerous...and more interesting. Perhaps his invention was not leading him to a squirrel after all.

He couldn't see himself dating a lobster either. But if Dr. Blowhole had a platypus agent, who was to say that he didn't have any other agents? Maybe his potential match was here after all. But should he really continue this solo mission now that it had led him to a secret lair? Probably not. But he had already come so far and now was so close to his scientifically proclaimed match...No. No, he was going to risk it.

He silently followed after the lobster, keeping to the shadows. For once, luck was in his favor and the lobster did lead him to an entrance. He darted into a doorway and checked his Love-U-Later. He was getting closer. He leaned his head back against the wall and took a deep breath. He then peeked around the corner and, seeing the hallway clear, slid out in the direction of the heart blip on his module. He rounded another corner and slid directly into a lobster.

"Oh sorry, this isn't the way to the Ferris Wheel is it? I must have made a wrong turn." He said as he scrambled back. "No need to set off any alarms or anything, I'll see myself out."

"Sorry, but I can't do that. Kinda in my contract and all." The lobster said as he pressed the button.

"I wish you hadn't done that." Kowalski grumbled before swiping the legs from under the lobster and knocking him unconscious. "I'm not here to fight, but I will if I must." He dragged him out of the walkway before continuing to slide along the hall. He darted from doorway to doorway and shadow to shadow as he followed the GPS.

"Kowalski?"

He froze as he heard the voice behind him. He slowly turned his head and looked at Parker. He smiled the largest, sheepish smile he could muster. "Hehe...funny meeting you here. I was-" he was quickly cut off by a toxic spur to the side.


	2. The Results

_ **Chapter 2: The Results** _

When Kowalski came to, he found himself in a little cage. He groaned, rubbing his side and sat up, looking around. In the corner, was that--? Oh no. It is. The Diabologizer. 

“I can’t believe I came to New Jersey following an experiment and instead I’m going to become an experiment myself.”

“You’re in luck that I wasn’t prepared for you peng-u-ins yet, Kowalski.” 

Kowalski looked over as the dolphin rolled into the room. He sat back against the cage and sighed. “Peng-u-in, Bottlenose. It’s just me.” 

“And you expect me to just believe you? You know, I did that once before and it ruined a perfectly good plan to move the moon.” He crossed his flippers.

“I was in a trap and that was a feasible option to escape it.” 

“Are you going to try licking my eye again to get out of the cage?” 

“No. I wasn’t here to fight anyway. I wasn’t trying to cause any problems.” Kowalski sighed and checked his feet for his module. It was gone. “That’s just great,” he grumbled. 

Blowhole squinted at him. “What are you muttering about?” 

“I came here because of an experiment. I created an upgraded version of an older invention of mine, and it led me here. It would appear that when Parker surprised me, I must have dropped it.” 

The dolphin rolled closer to the cage. “What sort of invention?” 

Kowalski muttered something too quiet to hear. 

“You have an opportunity to ramble about your invention and you’re mumbling? Surely you can do better than that.”

“It’s called the Love-U-Lator 6000,” he then said, glancing at Blowhole. The dolphin did have a point after all. It wasn’t often he had an actually interested audience. “It...It was created in hopes of trying to use DNA to locate someone’s best match.”

“Best match? You mean like--”

“Like a potential partner, yes.” He avoided eye contact with the dolphin. For a moment, he was thankful his feathers would hide the warmth he felt creeping up his neck and in his cheeks. “I-I know, it’s pretty s-silly, right? Haha,” he quickly added, rubbing the back of his neck and head.

Blowhole just looked at him for a moment thoughtfully. “And it led you here?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see who it was leading you to?”

“No, I had not found them by the time Parker found me.”

“Well, now I’m curious too, Kowalski. The fact that your invention thinks your best partner is someone here is quite amusing. You know Skipper wouldn’t approve.”

Kowalski shrugged, not making eye contact. 

“What? Are you not excited about meeting your scientifically matched perfect date?" 

“No, it’s just…” He paused and looked at him. “I’m...I’m--”

“Nervous?” 

“Sort of. Yeah.” He rubbed his upper flipper, looking away again. 

Blowhole watched him and then looked at a lobster. “Red One, get Parker and ask him if he knows what happened to the device Kowalski was holding earlier.” The lobster saluted and left and the dolphin turned back to Kowalski. “Well, surely you’re not going to let fear keep you from finding out if your invention works?”

“I mean...If you’re going to let me find out the results at least…”

“Hey, I might be an evil genius, peng-u-in, but at the end of the day, we’re both scientists. I can respect wanting to see an experiment through.”

Kowalski smiled slightly at him. “Thank you.”

Blowhole nodded and looked over at the door as Parker waddled in. The monotreme held out the module to him. “This the thing, Doc?”

“Is it?” He looked at Kowalski.

Kowalski stood up to see it better and nodded. “Yes, that’s it...May I?” He stretched his flipper out between the bars.

Blowhole passed him the module and he pressed a few buttons. Kowalski looks at the screen, then at the dolphin, and then quickly at the screen again. 

“Anything you’d like to share with the rest of us, peng-u-in?”

“Ah hah, well, um…” his voice trailed to a mumble again. 

“Kowalski.”

“It hAs a rEsUlt,” his voice cracked as he hid the device behind his back. “B-but I me-mean, it Is one of mY invEntIOns. It’s pro-probAbly wrong.”

“Oh come on, don’t play coy now. What does it say?”

“You,” he finally squeaked.

“Me?” Blowhole raised a brow and held out his flipper. “Let me see.”

Kowalski avoided all eye contact as he handed it over.

The dolphin held the device and looked it over. He then looked at the little penguin in the cage and glanced at the others in the room. There was no question. The device was indicating him. Now this was something he was going to have to think about. Small dork was not his usual type. 

“You want some privacy, doc?”

“Wha-?” He turned and looked at Red One. “Oh, uh yeah. Just give us a few minutes.”

Parker and Kowalski exchanged a glance as he and Red One left the room.

“So what do you think?”

“Me?” Kowalski blinked and then cleared his throat. “I-I...I don’t know what to think.” 

“That’s not helpful at all.”

“WELL, I CAn’t hElp thAt!" 

Blowhole looked at the penguin. Kowalski’s feathers were rustling, his flippers were crossed as he stood in the farthest corner of the cage. The penguin was not only flustered, but...perhaps conflicted as well? “You’ve never dated a guy before, have you?”

“I’ve barely dated girls,” he stated, clearing his throat. “N-not saying the thought hasn’t...hasn't ever crossed my mind before, but…” 

“Well, you do know what the best way is to find out whether your invention worked or is a piece of cod, right?”

“What?” He looked at him, brows furrowed.

“Are you doing anything tomorrow night? Perhaps around midnight?” 

Kowalski’s eyes widened and he just stared at him. His beak opened and closed as though he wanted to answer, but his answer was stuck. 

“I’ll take that to mean you’re available. Cool. I’ll meet you outside the zoo at midnight tomorrow night. Then we’ll have that test date and see how good of a match we might be.” He unlocked the cage and opened the door. “Until then, you’re free to go.” 

The penguin just stood there, still processing this. His flippers moved automatically as Blowhole gave him back his module.

“Remember, midnight tomorrow. If you stand me up, Kowalski, you will regret it.” And with that, the dolphin rolled out of the room.


	3. Preparation

_ **Chapter 3: Preparation** _

Blowhole rolled into his planning room. He looked at the lobsters there as he gathered his thoughts. "Red One, open a new plan file. I think I'll call this one Firefly."

"Firefly, boss?"

"Yes. There is a species of firefly that lures potential mates to vampirically siphon their lucibufagins for their illumination imitations. Similarly, I will use this date with Kowalski to gain further information of the peng-u-ins' current plans and secrets."

"But, doc. Isn't this a risky plan? I mean. Couldn't he try doing the same to you?"

Blowhole rolled his eye and sighed. "Red One, this is Kowalski we are talking about. The same peng-u-in that was flustered to even admit his device thought I was his perfect match. The risk is minimal."

"But, doc. What if the device was right?"

"Red One, you're testing my patience."

"Again, this is Kowalski we're talking about, lobster." Parker then said. Apparently he had been leaning in the doorway this whole time. "There is no way the date will go _that_ well. The doc's not going to fall for one of his penguin enemies."

Blowhole nodded and motioned in Parker's general direction. "Exactly. So stop being such a pessimist, Red One," he said as he rolled over to a computer. "Now...where to take him…"

"What type of date are you thinking?"

"I don't know. Something simple. Nice, but not too nice."

Parker waddled over, watching him and the computer. "So not dinner."

"Who goes out to dinner at midnight?"

"Two animals sneaking into a human restaurant after hours?"

Blowhole glanced at him. "Yeah, no thanks." He tapped his flipper on the keyboard, thinking. "AH! I know. I'll take him to that karaoke bar downtown."

"You're taking your date to a bar?"

"A karaoke bar, Parker. I might be doing this to get information out of him, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun with it too."

Parker rolled his eyes. "Are you seriously using this as a plan, or just as an excuse to party?"

"That's the best part, you little natural disaster. I'm using it for both. It's a very versatile situation."

* * *

It was early morning when Kowalski finally returned to the HQ and put the car away. He snuck in and laid down in his lab for a quick nap. A very short nap since not even fifteen minutes later, Skipper woke them all for their daily training.

After managing to get through training, Kowalski returned to his nap. If he was going to be out all night again, he certainly did not need to risk falling asleep during the date...That would just be rude.

When he finally got up a few hours later, he waddled out of his lab and over to Private who was watching the Lunacorns. He gently tapped his shoulder. "Private, can I borrow you for a little while?"

Private looked over his shoulder at him. "Um, I guess so. Do you need help with something?"

"Something like that...Come with me." He motioned for Private to follow him out of the HQ. "Now, real quick...Can you keep a secret?"

"Not usually."

Kowalski sighed. He knew that already. "Well, I think you could keep this one. It's a small one. Doesn't endanger anyone," he said. Well...He hoped it wouldn't endanger anyone anyhow.

"I guess I can try…"

"Excellent, that's all I ask of you." He ushered him along to Marlene's habitat. Once there, he knocked a couple times before just waddling in. "Marlene?"

Marlene looked over from where she had been playing with her beach ball. "Oh hey guys. What's up?"

Kowalski looked both ways outside of her cave before waddling back to them. "Alright, so...I need help with something...But it has to stay a secret. No one but the three of us can know about this."

"Uh huh. Some top secret experiment that Skipper wouldn't approve of or something?" the otter asked, crossing her arms.

"Not exactly." He sighed and then cleared his throat, taking out a blue and a purple bowtie. "I have a date tonight. I can't decide which bowtie to wear."

Private and Marlene just looked at him for a long moment. "Woah woah woah, hold up," she then said, waving her paws. "Pause. Rewind. You have a secret date? With WHO?"

"That's top secret...for reasons."

"Oh come on! Spill it! You know you want to!"

Kowalski shifted on his toes and muttered something inaudible.

"What?"

Again, an incomprehensible mumble.

"Come on, Kowalski! Just tell us!"

"Alright, alright...It's Fran-" He stopped. "Fran. Their name is Fran."

"Ooh! What are they like?"

Kowalski leaned back against the wall of her cave and considered this. "Well…They are a dolphin. They're very intelligent. Excellent singing voice." He paused for a moment. "...And they have a-" He covered Private's ear holes. "-sexy smirk." He uncovered his ear holes again.

"She sounds pretty!"

"They're a guy."

"Oh. Well, then he still sounds pretty." She chuckled. "Now the bowties?"

Kowalski held them up again.

Private tilted his head. "You're not going on a date with who I think you're going on a date with, are you?"

"No, no...completely different dolphin, Private." Oh great, now he was lying to the boy.

"Oh, alright then." He smiled. "I thought that hadn't sounded right anyway."

Kowalski forced a smile as he still held the bows. "Right...So, uh...Blue or purple? Or should I get my red one?"

"Where are you taking them?"

"Well actually...They are choosing the location...I have no idea where we'll be going."

Marlene nodded and then pointed at the blue one. "That one. It matches your eyes."

"Thanks."

"So why all the hush hush anyway?" She asked.

Kowalski sat the bows down and crossed his flippers. "Well...It's just an experiment. I rebuilt the Love-U-Lator, and well, they're who it led me to. However, remembering how your date with Fred went...I'm avoiding getting anyone's hopes up. So I...I'm not ready to publicize that I'm seeing anyone...Because it's just one date."

"Well, that's no mindset to go on a date with." Private frowned. "Not that I've gone on any, but on the telly it seems to suggest being confident."

"Because I naturally just exude confidence on a regular basis."

"Don't you? You do often go on and on about your genius."

Kowalski looked at him gently. "Let me tell you another secret, Private...I am actually quite insecure. I regularly employ the fake-it-til-you-make-it method and stroke my own ego," he said before muttering, "since no one else will."

"Oh…"

"But Private's right about the mindset thing," Marlene said. "If you actually want this to work, you need to go into it thinking that it will work, not being confident that it is going to go horribly wrong."

"And why wouldn't it go horribly wrong?!" He gestured widely with his flippers. "Everything else I ever do does! I am bad luck prone, Marlene. It's going to go wrong." He covered his beak with his flippers. "Cod, this is such a horrible idea. Why did I do this?"

"Hey hey hey, no. Don't panic. It's going to be fine!" She pulled his flippers from his beak. "You're a nice guy, Kowalski. And you can be classy when you want to be. You'll be fine."

"If I had his phone number…"

"Well, it's a good thing you don't have it then, huh? You know you'd hate yourself being curious of how it might have gone if you didn't go through with it."

Kowalski sighed and nodded. The otter had a point. He would definitely do that.

"Alright then. So repeat after me. This date is going to go great. I have nothing to stress about."

"This date is going to go great. I have nothing to stress about."

"See? Don't you feel calmer?"

"Not remotely."

"Well. Then. You're obviously doing it wrong. You just keep saying it and pretending you believe it until you do." She snorted.

Kowalski raised a brow. "Yeah...I'll do that," he said while shaking his head. No. He was not going to do that. He then cleared his throat, grabbing his bow ties. "Well, thank you again for the bowtie help and the advice. I'm going to go...lab stuff...yeah."

"Lab stuff? That's really specific, Kowalski."

He already was backing for the cave entrance. "Well...That's because...I don't know what I'll do yet, but…." And then he slid away, leaving Private there with Marlene in his haste.

"I think he's freaking out," he said, glancing at Marlene.

"You think?"


	4. The Date - Part 1

_ **Chapter 4: The Date - Part 1** _

Kowalski looked at the clock. Time simultaneously was moving too fast and too slow for his liking. He paced the lab again, pausing by a mirror to double check his bow tie.

"It's just a date, " he told himself, glancing again at the clock. "Just one date that you'll surely screw up and then never think of this again."

It wasn't that Kowalski didn't want the date to go well, because he wanted it to go well. But if it went well, could he really continue dating Skipper's archenemy? Skipper would be bound to catch on eventually. He would be branded as a traitor without being allowed to give a defense.

And then of course...Francis was Doris's brother. What if Francis found out about how he used to stalk her and or about the Love-U-Laser intentions? He would be dead. Literally.

It didn't help that he had a tiny crush on him. Nothing as large as the crush he had had on Doris, and he had tried his best to ignore it, but now that he was going on a date with him, he was reminded of that crush and it was not helping his anxiety.

"It's just one date. That's all."

He blamed the toothy grin. That first time they faced him and he did his villain smirk...It should not have been as attractive as it was. Dolphin. Genius. Singer. Charming. He just had to be evil–or well, Skipper's arch. He didn't actually mind the evil part. It just was easier ignoring the fact he had a crush then deal with Skipper's probable opinion on the matter. He heard enough of his opinions on a daily basis.

Kowalski looked at the clock again and swallowed. It was nearly midnight. He peeked out of the lab, double checking that everyone was asleep before waddling out. He slid out to the entrance of the zoo and waited.

It wasn't long until Blowhole rolled up with his Segway. "Good evening, Kowalski."

"Hello, Blowhole… Or should I call you Francis?"

"Whichever you prefer is fine."

Kowalski nodded, waddling over to him. "Then I suppose it would be fair to extend to you the same option. Kowalski is my surname, Jan is my first."

"You know, all these years I thought Kowalski was just your name."

"To be honest, some days I forget it's not. But Jan analysis just doesn't have the same ring to it as Kowalski analysis. I swear I'd probably respond to being addressed as Options or Analysis at this point."

Blowhole chuckled. "Is that all you do? On your team, I mean."

Kowalski shook his head sideways. "It is most of what I do, yes. I'm also the tallest of the team… So that is occasionally utilized. I invent some things for them… Well, I try to anyhow. They've yet to really appreciate my efforts…but that's fine."

"Your team doesn't appreciate your inventions and you're fine with that?" He raised a brow.

"Well… No, of course I'm not fine with it, but it is what it is. There's no use dwelling on it." He cleared his throat.

Blowhole frowned slightly, but decided to leave the topic for now. "Anyway, I thought we could go to this karaoke bar I know downtown. Have you ever been to one before?"

"We have karaoke bars?"

"Yes! I can't believe you didn't know that."

"Well… I guess you could say I don't get out much except for missions."

"That's just sad."

Kowalski shrugged slightly as he waddled along beside him. "So um… Come here often?"

Blowhole glanced down at him with an amused snort. "Noooo never. Never seen the place before in my life." He chuckled.

Alright, so that flirt failed. The penguin smiled sheepishly. "Right, right…"

Blowhole then opened the door.

"Wait. We're just going to walk in? What about humans?"

"Please. You think I'd go to a human bar? It's like you don't know me at all."

"I just never thought of an animal run establishment before," he said, waddling inside.

"Because neither of us have side businesses."

"Fair enough-Wait. You know about mine?" He glanced at him.

The dolphin smirked. "Jan, Jan, Jan. Of course I know."

Kowalski quickly looked away. That accursed smirk. He refused to let himself become a flustered mess.

"Anyhow, I guess I'll order for us. What do you drink? Water?"

"Perhaps a shot of vodka."

Blowhole raised a brow and laughed. "Seriously? I wouldn't have thought you drank."

"And here I thought you knew everything." He glanced slyly at him. "You try living with Skipper and see how little you drink."

The dolphin chuckled, rolling to the bar. "Well. Alright then. Vodka it is."

Kowalski climbed up onto one of the stools. As Blowhole ordered drinks and an appetizer, he just waited patiently, trying to think of conversation ideas. He should have made flash cards. He hadn't thought to factor into his planning how each time Blowhole smirked, he lost his train of thought.

Blowhole slid the drinks down the bar. "So Kowalski, since you pointed out how I may not know everything about you. Why not tell me a little about yourself? Perhaps things I wouldn't know?"

"Well…" He sipped the drink. "I'm taking some online classes."

"Working on your own PhD, eh?"

"In experimental physics, yes."

"Fitting. And that's going well?"

"As well as secretly taken classes can go I suppose." He shrugged. "They're fairly easy courses, just fitting them in around missions and invention tests has been a slight challenge."

"What do you mean secret classes?" He raised a brow.

Kowalski looked at him. "I mean, besides my courses and me, you're now the only other individual who knows I'm working on my PhD. I didn't want to risk Skipper's paranoia getting in my way."

"Interesting...Do please continue."

"It's just with how you and Dave both having PhDs and being, well, evil geniuses, Skipper might equate getting a PhD with turning evil."

"I never knew getting a PhD was what led geniuses to villany."

"I know right? I would have thought it would have been the bitterness and strong thirst for revenge."

Blowhole sipped his drink. "You say that as though you had experienced it."

"I'm bitter, and I have wanted vengeance before...Just not to the caliber that you or other villains do."

"Oh?" Now this did get his attention. "Do tell."

"There isn't much to tell. I occasionally plan inventions just to get back at Julien for all the times he borrows my inventions, causes my inventions to fail, or causes Skipper to blame me for things going wrong…And then there was that time I lost my temper and attacked Skipper to avenge my computer."

Blowhole nearly spat out his drink. He coughed and looked at him. "You attacked Skipper?"

Kowalski nodded and sighed. "Yes...He deserved it. But anyway, enough about him. A date is no time to rant about work."

"I disagree. I'm finding this interesting. I have wondered what you peng-u-ins do when you aren't foiling my plans."

"Well, from my point of view, I get blamed for everything that Skipper doesn't blame on you or Hans." He grumbled.

"You know, I'm starting to hear that bitterness. Who knows, maybe that PhD is that last straw you need to tip you over the edge. Study hard, be evil."

Kowalski chuckled and looked at him. "And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well, you know far more about me than I know about you, Francis."

"What do you want to know?"

"Perhaps, what do you like to do? Hobbies?"

Blowhole considered this and motioned to the bartender for another round for him and Kowalski. "What do I like. I like fish, seaweed, music, inventing, annoying you peng-u-ins-"

"I knew it!"

He glanced sideways at him. "And musicals."

Kowalski smiles sheepishly at him. "Sorry...Do you ever invent while listening to music?"

"But of course. Why would anyone want to invent without music?"

Once again, Kowalski wished he had made flashcards with conversation ideas. He finished his drink and tried to think. "I guess we do sort of have some things in common. I mean, we both invent and like music...both geniuses…"

"That is true."

"And we do sing pretty well together."

"Speaking of which-" Blowhole finished his drink. "We are at a karaoke bar."

Kowalski looked at him. "You're wanting us to sing in front of others willingly?"

"Why not?" He leaned closer to him. "Don't tell me you are secretly a chicken."

He squinted at him. "Are you always so mean?"

"Mean? Me? I haven't an idea of what you're talking about."

"Francis…" He then sighed. "This...This isn't working out, is it?"

"Wait, what?" He looked at him.

Kowalski looked back at him. "The experiment was a failure is what I mean. It's obvious to me that you aren't actually interested in this. I'm...I'm struggling to keep up the conversation, and you don't seem too keen on talking any yourself."

"That's why I suggested we try the karaoke."

"I'm just saying...If this...it this isn't actually of interest to you, that that's...okay. I understand and there's no...no need to just drag out a failed date."

"You lost me. When exactly did this date become a failure? Because as far as I'm concerned it was going just fine up until now."

Kowalski looked uncertainly at him.

"Jan, this date is of interest to me. Really. We both already know how amazing I am. But, I could tell you never get to feel like the positive center of attention when with your team. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to take center stage and tell me more about your amazing qualities. You're quite unique. I haven't come across many animals like you. Every time I think I have you figured out, you surprise me. So learning more about you has been interesting to me. You are a puzzle, Kowalski...and I like puzzles."

So much for avoiding becoming a flustered mess. Kowalski felt the heat in his cheeks again. "Oh eh hehe…."

Blowhole raised a brow at him. "What's the matter, Jan? Dolphin got your tongue?" He booped the end of his beak with his flipper.

Kowalski looked at the flipper wide eyed. He had not anticipated this, he had expected Blowhole to think this was a failure… Not to flirt. He was not prepared for this.

"Now. What about that karaoke, hmm?"

"OkAy." He managed to squeak out. At least karaoke would probably give him time to recompose himself. Even if it was singing in front of a flock of strangers.


	5. The Date - Part 2

_ **A.N. - For those curious, the songs referred to below are "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey and "You're the One that I Want" by John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John.** _

* * *

_ **Chapter 5: The Date - Part 2** _

Now that was a close one.

Blowhole might have slightly underestimated just how sensitive and anxious Kowalski was, but he knew now so he could adjust accordingly.

So he didn't think he was interested, eh? Oh he'll see interested if that's what he wanted. He hasn't felt flustered yet, not as as much as he will before the evening is over.

"This way, Kowalski." He nudged the penguin in the direction of the karaoke machine. "And don't worry, most of our audience is too wasted to pay you any attention."

"If you say so…" he cleared his throat, waddling by Blowhole, being careful not to get too close to the Segway wheel.

"Of course I say so. Trust me, I am a dolphin after all." He winked at him...or well, tried to.

Kowalski looked away, his feathers ruffled slightly.

Blowhole smirked slightly to himself. So Kowalski could tell a wink from a blink? It was about time SOMEONE appreciated his winks.

"So Kowalski, is there any song you want to sing? Perhaps a favorite tune?"

The penguin looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess…maybe... 'Don't Stop Believin'?"

"Good choice." The dolphin nodded, rolling over to the DJ.

So perhaps the peng-u-in had decent music taste after all. He would admit he was picturing him to suggest something more dorky and obscure. Perhaps he really didn't know him as well as he thought.

Blowhole got the microphones and tossed one to Kowalski. "You're not going to get stage fright and faint or something, right?"

"I'm not a fainter, I'm a panicker," he said, standing a little taller.

"Oh, I see, so I should prepare for you to scream and run off stage." He chuckled.

"Ye-NO! I'm not going to panic over karaoke." He looked down at the microphone in his flipper. "I'm not a chicken. I just haven't done something like this in years."

"That's rough, buddy."

Kowalski glanced up at him. "You know, you're quite sarcastic."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence."

"Oscar Wilde, nice." He chuckled.

Blowhole nodded and nudged him towards the stage. "We can talk more later. Now quit stalling and get up there."

Kowalski scowled slightly, but finally hopped up onto the small stage. Blowhole rolled up the ramp on the other side and looked out at the small crowd of other animals. As predicted, none were paying them any attention _yet_. But of course, when they sang they _would_. After all, who could resist paying attention to a couple of guys who could _actually _sing performing karaoke for once?

He glanced down at Kowalski. The peng-u-in had moved closer to him and was practically behind him. He nodded to the DJ to start and leaned closer to Kowalski. He would start it off gently and help ease the peng-u-in into it.

"_Just a small town girl_  
_Living in a lonely world_  
_She took the midnight train  
__Going anywhere_."

Kowalski licked his beak and picked up the next part.

"_Just a city boy_  
_Born and raised in South Detroit_  
_He took the midnight train  
__Going anywhere_."

From there, they continued singing together the rest of the song. As they progressed, Kowalski seemed to become less timid and more comfortable,which was exactly what Blowhole had expected. So now that he wasn't quivering behind him, they could have some fun with this.

Blowhole leaned back towards the DJ and told them the next song. Should he probably tell Kowalski the next song too? Maybe. Was he going to? No. After all, what was the fun in testing him if he wasn't caught off guard first?

He lifted the microphone and grinned at Kowalski.

"_I got chills_  
_They're multiplying_  
_And I'm losing control_  
_Cause the power you're supplying  
__It's electrifying!"_

For a brief second, Kowalski's eyes widened, but he quickly composed himself. He pushed Blowhole away.

"_You better shape up_  
_Cause I need a man_  
_And my heart is set on you_  
_You better shape up_  
_You better understand  
__To my heart I must be true."_

"_Nothing left  
__Nothing left for me to do."_

At this point, the duo had a small audience watching them as they moved and sang on the small platform.

"_You're the one that I want_  
_You are the one I want_  
_Oh, honey_  
_The one that I want_  
_You are the one I want_  
_Oh, honey_  
_The one that I want_  
_You are the one I want_  
_Oh, the one I need  
__Oh, yes indeed._"

Kowalski leaned against Blowhole's Segway.

"_If you're filled_  
_With affection_  
_You're too shy to convey_  
_Better take my direction  
__Feel your way_."

Blowhole smirked down at him.

"_I better shape up  
__Cause you need a man_."

Kowalski winked at him.

"_I need a man  
__Who can keep me satisfied_."

Blowhole raised his brows at that. His smirk changing from flirty to more amused.

"_I better shape up  
__If I'm gonna prove."_

Kowalski then moved away from him.

"_You better prove  
__That my faith is justified_."

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes I'm sure down deep inside."_

They then returned to singing in sync.

"_You're the one that I want_  
_You are the one I want_  
_Oh, honey_  
_The one that I want_  
_You are the one I want_  
_Oh, honey_  
_The one that I want_  
_You are the one I want_  
_Oh, the one I need  
__Oh, yes indeed."_

When the duo finished, they were met by a small applause. They looked at each other, grinning. Their gazes slipped to looking at each other's mouths—

NO.

Blowhole leaned away and rolled from the stage. If he smooched the peng-u-in, he wouldn't be able to get anymore information from him tonight. Kowalski was too easily flustered for that. He was not ready for smooches.

He rolled back to the bar and Kowalski soon joined him. Overall, he looked calmer than at the beginning of their date.

"See? I told you the karaoke was what we needed." He motioned to the barkeep for a couple of new drinks for them as Kowalski hopped up onto a stool.

"You were right. I don't know why I was so nervous."

"You just need more practice loosening up. You're so programmed for commando missions and work, you've forgotten how to just have fun."

Kowalski nodded, getting his drink. "So far tonight has been the most fun I've had since that time we created that mutant MP3 Player."

"I like how you say we created it as though it wasn't a freak accident and we had built it on purpose." He chuckled.

"Hehe, well, it did inspire me to create my nanites that failed...Well, they worked, just a little too well and I had to shut them down."

"Oh." Blowhole leaned closer to him again, grinning. "I hadn't realized that you found me so inspiring, Kowalski. Have I influenced many other inventions?"

Kowalski for a moment could only chuckle nervously. "Eh well." He thought about this. "I can't remember, but Skipper did attribute one of my inventions to you."

"Ah yes...That invisibility ray thing."

"You heard about that?"

"When buildings start vanishing, word travels quickly and it always blames the best villain in the area. I wasn't even in town at the time. But when I heard, I knew it had to have been you. You're the only other major inventor I know of around New York."

"I'm not sure I can be classified as truly a major inventor. That sounds like it implies I succeed more than I fail, and that's quite the opposite of my experience." He looked away.

"You think my inventions always work on the first try? Jan, failure is part of the process. And yes, inventing is a process. First try perfect masterpieces are rare; it's normal for first tries to flop. You're putting too much pressure on yourself to be perfect the first time. Tell me, how many inventions have you returned to after the first time you tested them?"

"Not many…"

"I bet if you returned to them with your notes on what went wrong, they'd work even better the next time."

Kowalski looked at him.

"So don't think of yourself as a failing inventor. You're a major inventor who has trapped himself in a cage of his own expectations. You've forgotten how to just enjoy the process."

There was a small sniff and Blowhole looked at him. "Crabcakes, you're not crying, right?"

Kowalski wiped his eyes shaking his head. "N-no. That was just…. I haven't heard anything that encouraging in so long."

Blowhole looked at him and then at the ceiling and just shook his head. "You are so emotional." He sipped his drink and glanced at Kowalski again. "Do you need a hug?"

He nearly spat out his own drink. "WhAt? NO! I'm fInE!"

And there was that voice crack again. He grinned and leaned closer.

"Are you sure? I give the best hugs."

Kowalski coughed, shaking his head. "I'm fInE!"

Blowhole outstretched his flippers. "Come on, your squeaking says otherwise. Bring it in."

The penguin looked at him and then finally gave in to getting hugged. Blowhole stroked his back, but then stopped as a short purr escaped Kowalski's beak.

"Did you just–?"

Kowalski squirmed out of the hug. "NO!"

"No, come back! That was adorable." He tried to catch Kowalski who had wriggled back to his seat, his feathers quite ruffled.

Blowhole chuckled and finished his drink. "I'm serious, that was adorable, you feathered cat."

"Oh shut up," he murmured, hiding himself behind a menu from the bar table.

The dolphin tipped the menu down, peering over the top of it with his toothy grin. "Make me."

Kowalski looked at him with wide eyes before starting his nervous giggling and climbs down from the stool. "It's gEttIng lAtE. I prObAblY nEed to bE gEttIng bAck."

"Does Skipper have you on a curfew?"

"No, but I didn't–didn't tell him I was going to–going to be out."

"Kowalski, you sly dog." He chuckled. "But alright, I suppose I can walk you home. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble for having a little fun." He paid for their drinks and followed Kowalski to the door. "So what do you think about our little experiment now? Is it still a failure?"

He looked up at him. "Well… What do you think?"

Blowhole looked at the sidewalk in front of them. "I think I'm going to have to consider the data further before I make any conclusions."

"I think…. Same here."

"I did have fun though, so I suppose I should thank you for this opportunity."

Kowalski waddled a little closer to the Segway. "I thank you as well for… Humoring my experiment. Even if perhaps my invention was wrong… It was fun and I did enjoy myself."

"Who knows, perhaps we can do something similar again someday."

"I'd like that."

They arrived at the zoo. Blowhole looked at Kowalski thoughtfully for a moment. Just dropping him off felt...wrong, like it was missing something.

"Hey, Kowalski, before I go…"

He stopped and looked at him. "Yes?"

"I have one last data point for us," he said before leaning down and planting a very quick kiss on his beak. "Good night, Jan." He then rolled away.

The penguin just stood there in shock. "Uh hUh."


	6. Banned

_ **Chapter 6: Banned** _

"Earth to Egghead."

Kowalski was jolted back to reality. He looked around, rubbing his cheek, and looked at Skipper. Surely there were better ways to get his attention. "What was that, sir?"

Skipper rolled his eyes and pointed at the trapped lemurs before them. "Welcome back from La-La Land. I'm still waiting for my options, Kowalski, and you know how I feel about waiting."

"Right…" He looked at the lemurs who are stuck together with a lot of what appeared to be bubble gum. Of course, that was what Julien mistook it for anyway when in reality it was a new adhesive gum-based putty he had been working on. Apparently while he was gone last night, Julien had broken into his lab again.

Kowalski licked his flipper tip and turned the page of his options notebook. "Well, as I see it there are two options." He quickly sketched a pair of scissors and showed it. "We could cut it off their fur, or—" He flipped the page and sketched again. "We could freeze the adhesive and possibly shatter it and free them."

Skipper nodded and looked at him and Rico. "Do we have a freeze ray?"

"I don't know. Rico, do you happen to have one of my freeze rays or do I need to run by the lab?"

Rico thought for a moment. He then regurgitated a ray and showed it to Kowalski. "Dis 'un?"

"Yes, that's one." He nodded. "Just freeze the adhesive if you can. The less casualties the better."

"CASUALTIES?!" Maurice exclaimed.

"At ease, Maurice. There won't be any casualties," Skipper said.

"Just my unfinished adhesive…" Kowalski muttered.

"Well, you shouldn't have had it where they could get to it."

"Oh, well excuse me for locking it in my lab and expecting it to be safe."

Private cleared his throat, looking at them. "We're awaiting next orders…"

"Right, right… Rico, if you would." Skipper motioned towards the shivering lemurs.

Rico took out a hammer and chisel and started to shatter the ice and frozen adhesive. Private waddled over to assist.

Skipper turned back to Kowalski. "What were you thinking so hard about anyway?"

"Nothing much…" He shrugged. "Science stuff and things."

"Are you sure about that? Because your face looked twitterpated."

Kowalski looked away. "I'm not twitterpated."

"Mmm, suuuure you're not." Skipper looked thoughtful and glanced at him again. "Where were you last night anyway? Obviously you weren't here if they were in your lab."

"That's unimportant."

"Kowalski, as your commanding officer, I order you to tell me where you were."

Kowalski crossed his flippers. "Not that it's any of your business, but I was on a date."

"So you are smitten. Great, that's exactly what we need. A nerd with his head stuck in the clouds again. Who did you go out with?"

"I really don't think my personal life is something that you should concern yourself with, sir."

"Soldier, in this unit there is no personal business classified to me."

"Then in all fairness, you shouldn't keep your personal life classified from us since we _are _friends, _aren't _we, Skipper?"

"Rank surpasses friendship."

"I'm still not telling you who I went out with."

Skipper stepped closer to him. "Are you wanting a court martial for insubordination, Kowalski?"

Kowalski looked down at him, his resolve finally wavering. "A dolphin named…. Fran."

"A dolphin named Fran?" He squinted at him. "And where did you meet her?"

"I tested a new version of the Love-u-Lator and it led me to him." He looked at the others who were finishing up freeing the lemurs.

"Fran wouldn't happen to be short Francis, would it?"

Kowalski cleared his throat. "I don't think now is the time to argue about this, Skipper. We really should concentrate on the mission before us."

"I've been watching. Private and Rico have it under control. Now answer my question, Kowalski."

"N-no. Fran is not short for Francis." The lie slipped more easily from his tongue than he expected. But then, if Skipper knew the truth, this argument was just going to—

"You're lying."

"WhAt? NO. I'm nOt lYIng." Curse his own squeaky, betraying voice.

"So you were on a date with a dolphin named Francis. Were you or were you not on a date with our enemy, Dr. Blowhole?" he growled.

"Oh come on, Blowhole isn't the only dolphin named Francis out there! You're being… paranoid."

"I'm being sensible. What other Francis dolphin could you possibly have come across near New York?"

"You'd be surprised—"

"And if it wasn't him you wouldn't be trying so hard to keep it classified."

"Perhaps I just wanted to have a private private life for once." He snorted.

Julien then appeared by them. "Oooh the tall one's seeing the Blow-Joe guy? Scandalous."

"This doesn't concern you, Julien." Kowalski looked at Skipper. "It was only one date. I'm allowed to date who I like."

"Not when it puts our unit at risk! Not when you're dating our arch!"

"He's _your _arch."

"Same difference! I veto this relationship. It's banned!"

"You can't ban this! It was just one date!"

"BANNED."

"BUt SkIppEr!"

"Banned Kowalski. You're grounded. I trusted you to wisely use your time unsupervised and you went and started dating the devil, putting our entire operation at risk!"

"He's not the devil!"

"Oh so now you're defending him, too!"

Kowalski growled to himself. "You're being judgmental and paranoid. I didn't tell him anything classified. And you don't trust me, I saw those cameras, Skipper."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Go to your lab!"

"I DID NOTHING WRONG. I WILL NOT."

"GO TO YOUR LAB."

"It's not like I could have told him anything classified if I wanted to! You know how I get incoherent when flustered!"

"I don't care. You're still grounded. This discussion is over. You will not be seeing him again. Go. To. Your. Lab," he growled and pointed.

Kowalski narrowed his eyes at him and then turned. "Fine. But only because I want to go there anyway." He then slid away.


	7. A Gamble

_ **Chapter 7: A Gamble** _

"Hey Doc?"

Blowhole looked up from a blueprint he was working on. He grabbed a coffee mug that was sitting nearby. "Yes, Red One?"

"For project Firefly, did you have anything you wanted to add after last night?"

"Oh right." He sipped his coffee thoughtfully. "You are prepared to take notes?"

Red One nodded, awkwardly holding a pencil and notepad.

"There is unrest among the peng-u-ins. Namely between Kowalski and Skipper." He took another sip. "Kowalski is feeling underappreciated… He could probably be convinced to consider other employment options."

"So you want him working here? Wouldn't that be awkward?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you went on a date with him. Then you would start working with him?"

Blowhole looked at him and rolled his eye. "No, it wouldn't be awkward."

"But wouldn't it be like working with your ex?"

"It was just one date. He's not an ex, we weren't dating. One date doesn't make an ex, it makes a trial."

"Like in an experiment?"

"Exactly. It was just an experiment."

"But don't you usually perform at least three trials per experiment to make sure you have the most accurate data?"

Blowhole looked at him. How dare that crustacean make a valid point. But well, it wasn't an official experiment. It was fine as it was, surely.

"Eh, it was just testing if his invention worked."

"I'm just saying, Doc, did you really test it with just one trial?"

"It was tested. We went on a date. We talked. We sang. It was tested."

"And how did it go?... For me to note in the report."

Blowhole narrowed his eye at him. "How it went is unimportant to project Firefly, Red One."

Red One shrugged. "Was worth a shot." He murmured.

"I have nothing else for you to note right now, you're excused." He turned away, sitting the cup back on the table. He looked at the blueprints again.

How did it go? How did it go?

Blowhole sighed, shaking his head. It hadn't gone as badly as he had maybe expected. It actually had gone pretty well. That was the problem.

He sketched along a ruler edge. If he did participate in more trials with Kowalski, then he might develop attachments to him. Developing a loyalty bond with one of the peng-u-ins who constantly foil his plans, was a bad idea to put it simply.

Then again.

Blowhole paused and tapped his pencil to his rostrum. Kowalski was standing with one foot out the door of his unit so to speak. He could possibly be convinced to change sides. That wouldn't be so bad…

Another inventor around, someone else who could think outside the box… Someone else who enjoyed impromptu karaoke while working on new ideas.

Granted, the peng-u-in wasn't as smart as him, but he did seem willing to learn. And he lacked confidence...but that could be built up. Although, his lack of confidence and how easily flustered he was, was kind of fun to tease.

Blowhole looked back at his plans thoughtfully. He then frowned and erased an equation. That was wrong. His mistakes had better not be contagious.

"Wait…" he muttered to himself. What did Kowalski even think about humans? How much were the battles just driven by Skipper's orders in comparison to Kowalski's opinions? Perhaps there was more information to collect yet. Perhaps another trial date wouldn't be a bad idea after all.

He laid the pencil aside and rolled to the security room.

"Red One, show me Kowalski's lab."

He waited as the lobster clicked through different camera screens until the lab was shown. On the screen, Kowalski is shown, moping at his lab bench. He just sat there, with his head leaned on one flipper, flicking a pencil and watching it spin around.

"Well, that's not what I expected." Blowhole frowned slightly as he watched.

Kowalski then looked over at the door as Skipper waddled in. "_What now, sir?"_

"_What did you tell him?"_

"_I already told you. I didn't tell him anything classified."_

Oh. So the other peng-u-ins knew about their experiment…

"_I want a detailed answer, not this vague carp, Kowalski."_

Kowalski ran his flippers down his face. "_Honestly, most of what we talked about was how I provide options and make inventions for the team. We discussed various inventions, some of his and my likes and dislikes...Just typical date conversation, Skipper. Really."_

Skipper crossed his flippers. "_Seriously? That's all?"_

"_Yes. We were on a date, not a waterboarding interrogation."_ He rolled his eyes. "_Neither of us were trying to extrapolate data for any ill-meaning plan. We were just two guys out for a couple of karaoke songs and drinks, trying to get to know each other a little better. That's all."_

Blowhole looked away from the screen momentarily. It was good Kowalski was unaware of what he had been doing. He was just naive for not considering that he would do such a thing…and yet, why did he feel...weird? Guilt? Nah, that couldn't be it. Plus, Kowalski was never going to find out about Firefly anyway.

"_Fine, but you're done seeing him. It's too risky for the unit, you know that. You want to be the cause of Private getting diabologized?"_

Kowalski flinched and looked away. "_Alright, alright...I see your point, sir…"_

"_Good."_ He nodded, waddling for the door. He stopped and looked back at him. "_You're still grounded for the rest of the week."_ He then waddled out the door.

Kowalski returned to his moping. He leaned his head down on the workbench.

Blowhole sighed and shook his head. Now that Skipper knew, future trials might be out of the picture...unless he could convince a certain peng-u-in to be a little rebellious. He smirked to himself and chuckled.

"Red One, establish a connection with Kowalski's computer."

"Gotcha, Doc."

He waited patiently, tapping his flipper on the handle of his Segway as he planned what he would say.

"Alright, Doc. Connection is established."

"Excellent." Blowhole nodded, getting the microphone. "Kowaaalski."

Kowalski sat up, looking around his lab.

"Over here, genius." He rolled his eye.

Finally, the penguin looked at his computer. "Francis?" He moved closer. "What...What are you doing on my computer?"

"Well, what does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to talk to you."

"I do have a phone, you know."

"Perhaps, but I don't have your number."

Kowalski nodded and then tilted his head. "What did you want to talk to me about?" He looked around the lab before waddling over and locking the door.

"I was thinking...Good experiments always conduct more than a single trial before any conclusions are made."

"That is true, yes...You're not-you're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" He returned to standing in front of the computer.

"And what would you say if I were?"

Kowalski's eyes widened. "Um...I-I...I want to but-but I can't." He looked away.

"Because Skipper outlawed it?"

"How did you-nevermind. You have your ways I suppose." He sighed, and then nodded. "Yes, he's banned it."

"I seem to recall you telling how he banned inventing once before...And did you follow orders then?" He smirked at him.

"Well, no...I did not."

"And it was worth it, wasn't it? You created an invention that was impressive enough to be thought of as one of mine." He leaned closer to the camera. "Why not take another risk, Kowalski?"

"I-I don't know, Francis...That was just an invention. This sort of insubordination...If Skipper found out, it could end my entire career."

"So we simply would make sure that he never finds out."

"I don't know…"

Blowhole sighed. "Fine. We don't have to have anymore dates. I just thought you were a bigger risk taker than this, Kowalski."

"I-I am...But this is more of a gamble. It's betting my entire life as I know it on an invention that was probably wrong."

"So you don't think we would work out?"

"I didn't...I didn't say that." Kowalski sighed and rubbed his flipper down his face. "I-I don't know what I think, Francis."

"You seemed pretty decided last night."

"I am interested in you, I am...But...I'm not sure I trust you. This is so much for me to put on the line, and it's nothing to you."

Blowhole looked at him. "But it is a risk to me as well, Kowalski. Do you think dating of one of my peng-u-in enemies looks good for my reputation? How many villains do you think would want to buy from a villain who is that close with their enemy?"

Actually, he could just find different buyers. That really was not that hard, and he really couldn't care less about what anyone thought of his relationships...But Kowalski didn't need to know that.

"I guess I didn't think of it like that…"

"So? What do you say now?"

Kowalski looked at the computer before glancing at the locked door and back. He then nodded. "I would like to pursue more trials with you...but I really should give you my number so we can be a little more… covert in the future."

"Yes, that would be good."

"Also, I'm grounded this week."

Blowhole gave him a look. "Because sneaking out to go on forbidden dates when grounded is any different from doing it on any other night."

"Oh but it is! I can give excuses when I'm not grounded, parts or material runs. There is no excuse for being away from the HQ when I'm grounded."

"Fiiiiiine. We can play along with his little ban for now. If you give me your number, I'll be in touch about our next date."


	8. Under the Sea

_ **A.N.- The song featured here is "Under the Sea" by Samuel E. Wright.** _

* * *

_ **Chapter 8: Under the Sea** _

Due to Kowalski's grounding, in the end they decide to wait a little longer than just that week for their next date, just to err on the side of caution. And so, one night a month later, Blowhole waited in the park for Kowalski to appear. They had decided on a new meeting spot that hopefully would be less visible by the zoo.

Finally, he spotted the peng-u-in waddling up the hill.

"I was starting to think you stood me up."

"I texted you that I was going to be a little late. There was an impromptu mission that delayed lights out." Kowalski said.

"You did?" He got out his phone and then nodded. "Oh, you did. I never heard it come through."

"Well, I hope you would have thought to check your phone before assuming I was standing you up." He crossed his flippers, frowning sternly.

"Who knows. Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't."

Kowalski's frown deepened and Blowhole chuckled. There was just something amusing about getting a stern parental look from a tiny peng-u-in. He then shook his head and rolled forward. "Anyway, the sub is this way."

"Wait, sub?" Kowalski waddled quickly to catch up. "Why didn't we meet at the docks then?"

"Perhaps I wanted to walk there with you."

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Mmhmm." He glanced down at him. "So Jan…"

"Yes?" He looked back up at him.

"I realized that we got off track during our last date. I still had questions that I completely forgot to ask."

Kowalski nodded. "Alright, I'm listening." He then cleared his throat. "But could you perhaps slow down a little?"

"What?" He looked down at him and paused. "Oh, sorry. I forgot about your tiny legs. Why don't you just hop up here, too? It'll be faster."

"They're not tiny. I'll have you know I'm tall for my species," he said, but did climb up onto the Segway behind Blowhole.

"Suuuure you are." He then turned awkwardly to look at him. "Okay, now I know I said for you to hop up here, and I know I have a handsome tail to sit with, but this is not going to work." He pressed a button and a small basket unfolded itself at the front of the handles. "Up here, Kowalski."

"Oh." He hopped closer to Blowhole. "I don't think I can-"

Blowhole rolled his eye, bending over, picking him up, and sitting him in the basket. "You were saying?"

"Never mind." He cleared his throat.

"So anyway…" What was he going to ask him again? Oh right. "What are some of your likes and dislikes?"

Kowalski sat back in the basket as he considered this. "I like robots, lasers, candy, music, pirates, puppetry, peanuts, dolphins—"

"Oh really? You like dolphins, I never would have guessed."

"Dolphins are just really cool! I mean, your natural abilities are phenomenal!"

Blowhole smirked. "Yes, that is true."

Kowalski smiled. This time around the smirk wasn't flustering him as much, what a shame.

"As for dislikes… I do not like peanut butter."

"But didn't you just say you liked peanuts? And what about the winkies?"

"I'm aware of the conundrum, but winkies are the only thing with peanut butter I'll eat. Peanut butter…just can't be trusted."

"I have a feeling there's a story behind this?" Blowhole paused at an intersection, waiting for the cars to pass. He glanced down at him.

"A traumatic experience yes… I really don't want to think about it."

"Although I am curious how peanut butter could possibly be traumatic, I won't pry."

Kowalski was silent for a moment. He watched as cars passed them before he glanced back at the dolphin. "Not long after we arrived in New York for the first time… I was an extremely curious chick. I come across a small packet of peanut butter. It smelled tasty, so I tried to eat it. You know how my tongue has those soft spines?"

"Yeah, my eye remembers."

"Well, the peanut butter glued my tongue to the roof of my mouth. It was all in-between the spines and everything. That led to my first trip to the vet and they had to bring in a specialist, a dentist, to remedy the situation." He shivered. "If I hadn't had a positive vet experience after that, I would have probably had a phobia for the vet's office in general and not just the dentist."

Blowhole looked at him and pat his head. "You really are prone to bad luck, aren't you?"

"You don't know the half of it." He laughed. "Oh cod, some of the incidents I've been in, I'm surprised I'm still in one piece some days."

"You mean you've been in accidents other than your invention explosions?"

"Yep. One time a billboard fell on me."

"What." He stopped and looked down at him.

Kowalski nodded, chuckling. "Yeah. I'm still amazed I'm alive. I was extremely lucky it didn't chop me in half or damage my spinal cord. I only ended up with a fractured pelvis and a few weeks in a cast."

"When the halibut did that happen?"

"The last time Invexpo came to Central Park, a few years ago."

Blowhole looked at him again and just shook his head. Did Skipper not watch out for his lieutenant? Sure, his own lobsters may occasionally get roughed up by his creations, but never have his lobsters been crushed under a billboard. And with how accident prone this peng-u-in was...He really sounded like he needed someone watching out for him.

He then shook his head and his thoughts away. He needed to stay focused on his mission. Blowhole rolled over to the sub, pressing another button on his Segway. The ramp door slowly dropped open and then he rolled them inside.

"It's no wonder you have such bad luck," he then said. "You're too busy using any good luck you have on staying alive."

"I would agree with that statement." Kowalski nodded, leaning over the side of the basket.

He watched him, tilting his head slightly. "What are you doing?"

"I was considering hopping out of the basket." The peng-u-in leaned more, his tail wagging slightly as he prepared to jump.

"You know you could just ask to be put on the floor. With your luck, if you had jumped out I would have rolled over you." He held back a chuckle at the tail wag. Such a dork.

Kowalski leaned back into the basket with a thoughtful expression. "Point made."

"Here." Blowhole picked him up once again and gently plopped him on the floor.

"Thanks." He smoothed down his feathers and looked up at him. "So where are we going?"

"Ah yes, I suppose you may want to know our plans for the night."

Kowalski looked at him expectantly.

"Well, allow me to frame it with a few questions. Now, I know you peng-u-ins have your own little submarine, but how often are you stuck on navigation charts?"

"Um...Most of the time?"

Blowhole nodded. "And how often do you swim out in the open ocean?"

"Pretty much never?"

"Exactly what I thought." He then grinned at him. "Jan, you've been missing out big time."

Kowalski raised a brow. "I beg your pardon?"

Blowhole gently ushered Kowalski over to a window and pointed, glancing slyly at him. "_Just look at the world around you, right here on the ocean floor. Such wonderful things surround you, what more are you lookin' for?_"

"Oh cod." He started to laugh. "You are not-"

"_Under the sea_  
_Under the sea_  
_Darling it's better_  
_Down where it's wetter  
__Take it from me!_"

Blowhole twirled away on his Segway. He glanced back at Kowalski to make sure he was watching.

"_Up on the shore they work all day_  
_Out in the sun they slave away_  
_While we devotin'_  
_Full time to floatin'  
__Under the sea."_

Kowalski still laughing joined in.

"_Down here all the fish are happy_  
_As off through the waves they roll_  
_The fish on the land ain't happy  
__They're sad 'cause they're in their bowl."_

Blowhole rolled back up beside him and leaned down closer.

"_But fish in the bowl are lucky_  
_They're in for a far worse fate_  
_One day when the boss gets hungry  
__Guess who's gon' be on the plate?"_

Then they sang together.

"_Under the sea_  
_Under the sea_  
_Nobody beats us_  
_Fries us and eats us_  
_In fricassee_  
_We're what the land folks love to cook_  
_Under the sea we're off the hook_  
_We've got no troubles_  
_Life is the bubbles_  
_Under the sea  
__Under the sea!"_

They both then laugh and Blowhole playfully nudged him over with his rostrum. "But seriously, the view down here is killer, Kowalski."


	9. The Scenic Route

_ **Chapter 9: The Scenic Route** _

Kowalski stood by one of the windows, his tail wagging enthusiastically. Blowhole watched him with a small smile. He had expected that the peng-u-in would find an aquatic adventure, where he wasn't the one driving or navigating, interesting, but he had underestimated just how interested he would be.

"Oh! Look at that!"

He rolled over and chuckled. "Yes, that's a fancy looking eel, isn't it? A ribbon eel I believe."

"I think the same." Kowalski slid over to another window. "Oh!" He gasped, tail wagging more quickly. "Francis! Come look!"

"What's up now?"

"A giant squid!"

Blowhole followed him over again. "I guess compared to you it is pretty big, but I'm pretty sure that's not a giant squid." He watched as Kowalski then slid back to the other window.

Neptune's trident. He could only imagine how he'd react to a materials store if this was how he reacted to just seeing the ocean. He chuckled slightly as he watched the peng-u-in zoom from window to window. He could be such a dork. Adorkable.

He then rolled away to look at some navigation charts.

Crabcakes. He wasn't starting to fall for him actually, was he?

He glanced back at Kowalski who was rambling on about some coral. He then looked back at the charts. Sure, this date was his idea so that he could get more information...But he couldn't ignore that he was truly enjoying the peng-u-in's company. Admittedly, he was one of the few he had ever met who shared his passions, interests, and could just have a fun time with...and be completely himself.

Not that he wasn't himself usually, as both Blowhole and Francis are sides of himself...But he felt able to be both sides of himself with Kowalski. He felt that way around Parker as well...but Parker was not the type for impromptu karaoke and he did not share his scientific passions. And of course, he couldn't show his Blowhole side around Doris or his mother, they just didn't understand...But Kowalski. He knew his dark side and seemed to welcome his Francis side as well.

"Kowalski?"

The peng-u-in turned away from the window and waddled over to him. "Yes?"

"What is your opinion on humans?" He looked down at him. "Your honest opinion."

Kowalski looked at him in silence for a moment. "My opinion?"

"Yes."

"As a whole, humanity is problematic. Humans are lazy, moronic, and some days it's amazing how they're not extinct." He said and then looked up at him. "That being said, I recognize that on an individual level, they are not all the same. There are good humans, just like there are bad penguins…"

Blowhole considered this silently.

"Honestly, if humans suddenly went extinct, I would not shed many tears for their absence. However, drowning the entire world to eliminate one species leads to too many innocent casualties. Something like a virus that only infected humans would be far more effective."

"Say what now?" He blinked and looked at him quizzically. "Are you seriously giving me options?"

Kowalski shrugged. "You asked for my honest opinion. If you're determined to exact revenge on the human race, then I think you should try to do so in a way that hurts the least amount of innocent species in the process. I mean, when you drown the world, you also drown the trees and you need their oxygen too, you know?"

"Perhaps, but there is too large of a risk of with a virus that it may backfire and infect ME instead!"

"If I was who engineered it, yes. But if you wanted to, I know you could pull it off."

Blowhole looked at him. "So you finally admit my intellectual superiority."

Kowalski opened his beak then closed it firmly. "Perhaps… But only by a little." He held his flippers in a way to demonstrate the 'little' superiority.

"Mmmm, I think the difference is probably larger than that, Jan."

The peng-u-in crossed his flippers. "Are we really going to argue who's smarter right now?"

"I don't know, you're the one getting your feathers rustled over it."

Kowalski looked at him and then away. "Anyway, the virus was just an option. The main point I was trying to make was the reduced amount of nonhuman casualties."

"Oh I heard your point, and I'll consider it later. But you have to admit, an aquatic world like this would be beautiful."

"Yes, but it's hard to appreciate beauty if you can't breathe. Even fish need oxygen."

"Alright, smart guy. Then tell me how you would try to achieve world domination." He crossed his flippers with a look.

"I'd build a time machine and make sure penguins became the dominant species instead of humans."

"Playing with time is risky. You might write yourself out of history accidentally."

Kowalski shrugged. "Probably, but humans would no longer be an issue."

Blowhole looked at him. "You do realize that the point of world domination is that you're the one ruling, right?"

"Oh, that sort of world domination." He tapped his beak thoughtfully. "I would probably recreate my nanites and alter their programming so that they only obeyed me and have a voice command for emergency shut down. Then with the use of my robot army, I would take over."

"The fact that you have a semblance of a plan…"

"What? I get bored."

"And you frequently make world domination plans when you're bored?"

Kowalski chuckled. "No, but I play a game of random scenarios with myself and that has come up as one of the prompts before."

"A game of scenarios?"

"Yep." He nodded. "I have a number of random scenarios in a hat, I draw one out and use it to prompt me to devise a list of options and a plan to fit the situation. It's great practice to keep my options skills sharp, and just have some fun with it too."

"Okay, now I have to know. What else have you drawn out before?"

Kowalski took out his clipboard and flipped back a few pages. "Invasion of giant mutant spider-sheep… If I were stuck in an elevator…If Rico was suddenly a vampire...Just things like that." He shrugged.

"You weren't kidding about the situations being random." He chuckled. "If we ever have a game night, you should totally bring your hat of situation prompts. Sounds like fun."

"Wait, really?" The peng-u-in's eyes lit up.

"Sure, why not?" He shrugged and looked at the navigation charts again. "Perhaps we'll check out this channel here…" He mumbled. "Kowalski, I'll be right back." He then rolled out into another room.

Lobsters quickly scurried away from the doorway and back to their posts. Blowhole rolled his eye as he saw them.

"Red One."

A lobster scurried over. "Yes, Doc?"

"Set our course for the channel due west."

"Gotcha, Doc." He scurried off to alter their course.

"As for the rest of you, keep to your posts." He crossed his flippers. "Our experiment is not your soap opera."

"But Boss!"

Blowhole leaned over to a lobster. "No buts, unless yours is wanting to meet the boiler back at the lair. Do I make myself clear?" He said softly, but with an edge to his voice.

"Crystal clear, boss." The lobster turned back to his post.

Blowhole then rolled back into the other room. Once again, Kowalski was at the windows, fully enthralled by the scenery. The dolphin smiled slightly and just silently watched him for a few minutes.

Finally, he rolled over to him. "How late can you stay out tonight?"

The peng-u-in jumped and looked at him. "I didn't hear you come back." He then tapped his beak. "As long as I'm back before Skipper wakes at 6 I'm fine."

"Good to know." He nodded and looked out the window above Kowalski's head. "If you're hungry, I had planned a light dinner, well, it's more like a late night snack… Since dinner at 2am is a bit weird."

"A 2am dinner sounds nice. We can pretend we're running on Hawaii time. It's only 8pm there, a perfectly fine time for dinner." He grinned at him.

"You are such a dork." He chuckled. "But alright, I'll have the lobsters set it up."

"I'm not the one who spontaneously started singing Disney."

"Hey hey hey now. _The Little Mermaid_ is a _classic_." He crossed his flippers. "And you totally would too, and you know it."

"I never once denied my dorkiness. I am simply saying, we're both dorks."

"I am not socially inept!"

"That is true, you are better at social situations than I, but you have to admit. We're both a little weird."

"I can't believe we're on a date and you're calling me weird."

He froze. "Wait, no, that isn't how I meant for that to sound. Like, weird is good. I like weird." His feathers ruffled.

Blowhole raised a brow, smirking at him. "Don't hurt yourself trying to backpedal there. I was just messing with you."

"Oh." Kowalski smiled sheepishly.

"Not to change the topic, but look at that." He said, nodding to the window. "Welcome to the deep sea."

The peng-u-in turned and gasped. "All the bioluminescence!"

"Like a neon light show."

"Can you imagine if penguins or dolphins could biolumines? We'd never need a flashlight."

"True...but a predator or prey would be to spot you from a mile away. That would completely go against the purpose of your counter shade coloration."

"Oh yeah, good point."


	10. Late Night Snack

_ **Chapter 10: Late Night Snack** _

So far, this date had felt far more comfortable than the first. Perhaps it was because he was less nervous about impressing Francis and more nervous about Skipper finding out he went against orders. And yet, he still wasn't too worried about that. They were leagues under the sea, after all. But also, he had to admit, going against orders put a whole new exciting spin to this experiment. The stakes were raised. A new challenge was added. It was exhilarating.

Kowalski looked out the window again as he waited for Francis to return. He tried to think of the last time he truly got to marvel at the wonders of the ocean...It had to have been years ago when swimming with Doris and a few of her friends, and even then, he could only be submerged for a few minutes at a time. He had certainly never been this deep before, not even in his own sub.

He smiled as he watched the glowing sea life flit around in the dark. He couldn't remember the last time it was that he felt this relaxed anywhere. No concern that something might suddenly explode, no shouting in the background, no spontaneous lemur appearances, just gentle currents, intellectual conversation, and playful duets. If it wasn't for the fact that he was without his brothers, he might could get used to this...But he knew he would eventually miss their chaos if he left, and so he sighed. He may get frustrated with them some days, but he did deeply care about all three of them.

"What's wrong?"

Kowalski jumped, almost losing his balance at Francis's voice. That segway needed bells or something, it was far too quiet. He looked at him as he calmed himself. "Nothing. My thoughts just went down a contemplative rabbit hole." He forced a tiny smile. "...Why did you think something was wrong?"

"You stopped wagging your tail."

"Oh." He then blinked and squinted at him. "How would you—Have you been watching my tail this whole night?"

"What? No. Why would—No. It's just been distracting motion when I've been looking over the charts." Blowhole crossed his flippers. "Anyway, the table is ready. I need to check on one more thing, then I'll meet you there. Red One will show you the way." He then rolled out of the room.

Kowalski watched him go with a small smile. He knew with this only being their second date he shouldn't let himself get attached. It was only the second trial of an experiment. Francis still hadn't made any outward indication to how he felt about the experiment besides suggesting for them to do multiple trials to make sure they had sufficient data. However, Kowalski did not need any more data. He knew he liked him...liked him liked him actually, but if at the end of their three trials, if Francis was not interested, he hoped that he could be convinced for them to at the very least continue a platonic friendship.

He had realized that the Love-u-Lator only had _his_ DNA sample and found _his_ perfect match. It's very possible that though Francis may be his match, that he may not be Francis's. The thought was painful to consider, but he had to keep it in mind to be able to keep a little protective distance. After all, dolphins were flirty by nature. They could flirt with anyone and it may not mean anything to them, which made them hard to read. Francis in particular was even harder to read. He was like a cake. A cake with multiple layers and each layer was a different mystery.

Kowalski licked his beak. Cake actually didn't sound half bad. Or better yet, pie.

He then caught a motion out of the corner of his eye and turned to see a lobster. "Oh hi."

"This way, please," the lobster said as he started skittering away.

Kowalski hopped down from the window and followed him. They enter another room where a table is set up with a nice table cloth, an LED candle, and a couple of wine glasses. He took a seat in the chair that the lobster directed him to.

"Thanks." He nodded to the lobster.

The lobster left the room and Kowalski sighed and looked at the table. His mood had been excellent earlier...Now his feelings felt mixed. On one flipper, for once he was actually enjoying himself. On the other flipper, he felt guilty. It was wrong for him to potentially put his team at risk because of his own wants...Extremely wrong and selfish...Like that time with Jiggles.

He balanced his spoon on top of his fork and flicked it. He leaned his head on his flipper, watching its wobbly spin. Perhaps once the trials were over they really should pretend this never happened. It would be for the best, wouldn't it?

Couldn't he for once follow something he wanted without it backfiring horribly? Surely he was allowed to be happy, too? He had already spent so many years lonely, and after all the things he has done for his brothers, surely he has earned the right to be a little selfish? Or had he?

Kowalski then sat up as he heard Blowhole and a lobster's voice from outside the room. He prepared a smile for they entered.

"Sorry, that took longer than I had anticipated," he said, rolling over to the other chair. "Red One, we'll start with the wine." He looked at Kowalski. "Uh, do you have a preference?"

"Hmm? Oh, no. Either is fine with me."

Blowhole nodded. "Red then."

"Yes, sir." The lobster scurried out.

"Okay, Kowalski. That was the fakest smile I have ever seen. What's wrong?"

Kowalski looked at him in surprise. Was he really that easy to read? "It's nothing, really."

Blowhole rolled his eye. "Uh huh. Forgive me if I don't believe you."

"I was just thinking about my teammates. That's all."

"Go on."

"It's just...Okay. So...As frustrated as I get with Skipper and how he treats me, I can't help but wonder if...Maybe he's right."

"You've lost me."

Kowalski rubbed a flipper down his face. "Skipper is right so often about so many things...I have often felt like I deserve more respect and attention than he or the others give me...But maybe I don't. I mean, the amount of trouble I cause with my inventions, my disobedience, my inability to think quickly in a crisis—"

"Hold on, let me stop you there." The dolphin held a flipper to his beak. "No."

"No?"

"Correct. No. You deserve to feel respected and appreciated. This time, Skipper is the one who's wrong in his behavior. That's why this is not something you should feel guilty about."

Kowalski looked at him silently.

"Skipper is paranoid and set in his ways. He has his opinions and they are not always right, but in his own mind, he thinks he is. Right?"

He nodded.

"My question though, Kowalski, is why do you stay with them if he causes you so much inner turmoil?"

"They're my brothers, Francis...Maybe not biologically, but we adopted each other years ago." He sighed. "And no matter how frustrated or hurt they make me...They're still my family and I love them."

"Family is...problematic sometimes, that is true."

Kowalski nodded and looked at him with a small smile. "I'm sure she'll give you another chance eventually. Doris...She's usually pretty forgiving...Isn't she?"

"Yes...But there's nothing for her to forgive. I'm not sorry I hid my other life from them. It was for their protection...If you peng-u-ins hadn't dragged her into it..." He glanced at him.

Kowalski opened and closed his beak as he tried to quickly think of an escape from this topic. "In our defense, she came to us for help to get you out of Seaville. She and I have known each other for years. We were friends. I had no idea she was your sister."

Red One then entered and poured their glasses. They both took a sip the moment he left.

"I'm sorry." Kowalski then sighed. "I didn't mean to ruin the mood."

"No, no, it's fine." Blowhole took another sip. "This was bound to come up eventually."

"Still…I'm sorry."

"Kowalski?"

"Yes?"

"When was the last time you slept?"

Kowalski blinked and looked confused. "What?"

"When was the last time you slept?" He looked at him seriously.

"Umm…" That was actually a hard question. When was the last time he had slept? "Maybe Monday night?"

"There's your problem." He shook his head. "You may not feel tired, but these sorts of thoughts are because your brain is tired, and thus it is upset. So, after our late night snack, you should try napping."

"I'm fine. I can sleep tomorrow."

"It's Saturday, Kowalski. It's been almost a week since you last slept. Perhaps even longer than a week from how unsure you sounded."

Kowalski looked at him, considering this. Perhaps he had a point. "Fine...I suppose a nap wouldn't hurt."

"Good."

For a moment Kowalski is quiet as he sipped his wine. "Are we still planning to have a third trial?"

"Has a reason came up for why we shouldn't that I am not aware of?"

"I don't think so? I just wasn't sure if—"

Blowhole looked at him. "You worry too much, Kowalski. Everything is fine. We'll continue and have our third trial and then decide whether to upgrade to an actual relationship or let it go."

So a full relationship was still a possibility on the table? Kowalski perked up. Maybe Francis did like him back at least a little bit. "Alright."

"If anything changes, you won't need to guess. You'll know. So just trust me that everything is fine, alright?"

"Alright." He nodded and smiled at him.

Red One then brought them their fish and set the plates before them. They silently eat their fish, both deep in thought.

"So what have you been up to lately anyway?"

Kowalski looked up. "Ummm…" He tapped his beak. "Had finals for one of my courses, busy week mission wise, and then I've been working on plans for a new invention. You?"

"Mainly business meetings and a little scheming. So what's this new invention you're planning?"

"I'm calling it the Chronoviewer. Instead of traveling through time, you can flip through time and see the past… Haven't figured out the equations for the future yet."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

Blowhole sipped his wine. "Why this invention? What is your reasoning for it? And I'll tell you now, 'because why not?' is not an acceptable answer."

Kowalski looked at him and then at his fish. "That was… Well…" He sighed. "I guess honestly my reasoning behind it would be so that perhaps I could find out what happened to my parents, just out of curiosity. But also, there are many events in history we don't understand and could see how exactly it happened, or be able to watch how great achievements occurred as they originally happened!"

"How young were you?"

"I don't remember exactly, but I was just a chick. Went to sleep one night with two parents, woke up with no parents. Wasn't long after that I met Skipper and Rico and we banned together and took care of each other...But I still can't help but wonder sometimes about what actually happened to them."

"So you peng-u-ins grew up without parental guidance? That explains so much."

"Private got a little guidance when we come across his uncle and grandmother. But yeah, besides that… Just that time we had that overly maternal opossum staying with us… That was a nice time."

"I'm sorry, what? You had a possum mother?"

"For like a week or so. She was an innocent civilian we thought we had injured chasing Hans… And I then forgot about how possums play possum." He cleared his throat. "Every time we tried to get her to leave, she'd fake a heart attack."

"Wow."

"Yep...I won't lie though, being mollycoddled for once instead of being yelled at was nice while it lasted."

"That I can imagine." He finished his wine. "That wouldn't be the same opossum that's on Han's page, would it?"

"Probably. We did sort of pass her off to him."

Blowhole then laughed. "Wow." He then took out his phone. "Speaking of that, what's yours?"

Kowalski took out his own phone. "Um, let me check…" He scrolled through his phone. "Actually, check your requests. I think i found you last week."

"Oh yeah, there you are. Next week I have a business trip to Hawaii."

"And you'll be posting pictures?"

"If I have time, yeah."

"Nice."

Blowhole nodded and looked at him. "So that nap?"

"Oh, I had hoped you had forgotten."

"Jan, I'm a dolphin. We don't forget."

Kowalski sighed and looked at him. "Fine… And where am I to take this nap?"

"You're small, I would imagine you could nap pretty much anywhere."

"...Well… I can't say that you're wrong. I have napped standing before."

"That being said, it would be problematic if I misplaced you because you chose a sleeping spot that was unstable and you slide off and under something." He tapped his rostrum. "So perhaps the basket would be the best choice. I'll try not to spin around too much."

Kowalski looked at him, trying to gauge how serious he was. "Well, once I'm actually asleep I doubt I'd even notice…"

"Even better." He said, standing up. "If you'll come here, I'll go ahead and sit you in there and you can get settled."

He sighed, dropping down from the chair and waddling over. Admittedly, he was starting to feel tired and it had to be nearly 4am...So a nap honestly didn't sound like a terrible idea.

Blowhole picked him up and sat him in the basket. "I'll wake you when we're near New York again."

"If I'm not awake before then." He yawned, curling up in the basket.

"Like I said, I'll wake you. Now go to sleep," he said, scrolling through his phone.


	11. Advising

** _Chapter 11: Advising_ **

"Kowaaaaalski. Kowalski, wake up."

Kowalski blinked in confusion and looked around. "Hmm?"

"We're back in New York. You're going to want to slide fast. It took a little longer to get back than I had anticipated. So uh, you might want to start planning your excuse for Skipper."

He rubbed his face. "What time?"

"It's a quarter til 6"

Kowalski sat bolt upright. "NEWTON'S KNICKERS!"

Blowhole picked him up and put him on the ground. "Yeah so, we can talk more later."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks, bye." He nodded and quickly slid away for the zoo.

Oh cod. What excuse could he have for being out until dawn? Woke up in the night, went for a waddle, dozed off in the park? Horrible excuse, but maybe Skipper would believe it.

Kowalski jumped over the wall and into the pool. He jumped onto the ice flow and shook himself, feeling far more awake now. He went to open the hatch, but instead it opened for him and he met Skipper.

"Good morning, sir." He smiled sheepishly.

Skipper looked at him, frowning. "I'm listening."

"Well you see, last night I was working on my newest invention and it got rather hot and stuffy in my lab, so I went for a waddle. At one point I sat down and apparently I dozed off. Ha… Sorry for any concern I may have caused."

He squinted at him but then nodded. "Try not to make this a habit, Kowalski."

"Right, sir. I promise it won't become one." He quickly saluted before passing him and dropping down into the HQ. He let out a sigh of relief and waddled to his lab. That had been closer than he would have liked.

A few hours later, after they had trained and the zoo was slower in visitation, Kowalski was in his lab, doodling in his notes. He was completely oblivious to Private sneaking in and watching over his shoulder.

"That's a nice dolphin."

Kowalski's flipper jerked and he drew a line up the page.

"You're still seeing him, aren't you?"

"WhAt?! NO."

Private crossed his flippers and gave him a look. "Oh really?"

Kowalski looked at him and sighed. "Alright, fine… Yes, I am. But please don't tell Skipper." He tapped his flipper tips together.

"Have I ever tattled on you to Skipper?"

"Well…"

"You were endangering yourself that time, that's different from dating someone Skipper doesn't like." He shook his head.

"Even when that someone is a dolphin who is set on world domination?"

Private sat beside him. "If penguins can change, I'm sure dolphins can too. Maybe you could convince him to stop being evil."

He snorted. "He runs a business in selling evil inventions. I do not see him giving that up any time soon."

"Well...can't any invention be used for good or evil, really? I know you've had a few that's straddled the line."

"What evil invention of mine are you talking about?"

"For starters, your death ray? Or what about that quantum acceleration thingy?"

Kowalski looked at him and then nodded sideways. "Alright, point made."

"So by that principle, his inventions could also be used for good." Private smiled at him. "He just needs a reason to be good."

"Bold of you to assume that I'm a strong enough reason. I've met myself before, Private. It's not like I'd ever give him an ultimatum between me or his villainy."

"Skipper would."

"True… So he would pick villainy."

"You don't know that for sure."

"I'm fairly certain it's easier to replace partners than it is to change one's own ideology."

"Says the scientist who constantly changes his mind."

"That's different! I am open minded. I change my mind as new evidence supports different theories!"

"And you're saying that Blowhole is not also like that?"

Kowalski looked at him. True, he and Francis did have a number of things in common, and similar thought processes as well. Maybe Private had a point. "Maybe you're right… But I don't think he's ready to consider that yet."

"Well of course not. You've only had what, three or four dates?"

"Two. Just two."

Private gasped. "Just two? Are you two just seeing each other once a month or something?"

"Maybe." He looked towards the door. "I thought it would seem less suspicious to you know who, you know?"

"But how are you actually bonding if you just see each other once a month?"

Kowalski crossed his flippers. "We talk outside of our dates as well. We text."

Private sighed and shook his head. "Come on, my knowledge from the telly about romance is not enough. You need an expert. Plus, Marlene has been asking me if I had details on how your date went. Now you can tell her about both of them!" He grabbed him by his flipper.

"I wasn't aware that I needed advice."

"How have your past relationships ended?"

"In disaster."

"Exactly. And you need advice on how to keep your secret better."

"I do?"

Private nodded. "You wear your thoughts on your face in bold. You are very expressionative, which is not a bad thing… But if you're trying to keep this a secret, it's going to give you away to Skipper."

Kowalski thought back to how easily Francis had been able to read him during their last date. He hadn't realized before how his thoughts corresponded to his expressions. "Alright," he sighed. "Let's go see Marlene."

Private smiled and led him out to Marlene's habitat.

"Marlene! Do you have a few minutes?" He called, knocking on the wall.

"Yeah, what's–" She looked up. "Oh hey, Kowalski."

"Hello, Marlene. Private has decided that I need more advice… And I've decided he is probably right."

Marlene looked at him and just shook her head. "You just say you need help straight up. But come on in. Tell me everything!" She pulled the two penguins inside.

"Okay, okay. So, we've had two dates so far. Neither perfect, but also neither were bad." Kowalski leaned against the wall. "The first one, he took me to a karaoke bar. The second, we explored the ocean in his sub. Both times, my anxiety almost ruined the mood."

"Well, why did you feel anxious?"

"The first time… I don't know. Everything just felt suspicious at first, but after I mentioned how I was feeling… He listened and it felt better I guess?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "The second date, I was too calm and I started over thinking."

"Let me guess, you talked with him about that too?"

"Yeah… That is one thing I can say he and Doris have in common. They both make me feel listened to and know just what to say to dispel my anxiety."

"That's good!" She smiled at him. "So what exactly do you need advice about?"

"Keeping my relationship a secret from Skipper." Kowalski looked at her.

"I told him about how his expressions will give him away. He seems too suspiciously happy and nervous." Private said.

"Oh yeah, yeah I could see that being a problem." She looked at him thoughtfully. "There isn't much I can say to help with that. But you have to be constantly conscious of what your face is doing. Like… Those times you give your 'you're an idiot' look."

"Ohh…" Kowalski blinked. "Huh… That...that actually explains a number of things." He took out his clipboard and took a few notes.

"Shouldn't he also try seeing him more often than once a month too?" Private asked.

"That would be ideal, but as long as they're still talking in between dates then it should be fine." She shrugged and looked at Kowalski. "When is the next?"

Kowalski shrugged. "I have no idea. I think we're going to talk about that later."

"Oh! Oh! You should totally do something for Halloween!"

"Perhaps… But that will depend on if we're throwing that party again this year."

"No, I'm hosting this year. Well, Skipper is assisting me, but that could work in your favor. I could totally make up fake errands for you!" Marlene smiled widely.

Kowalski looked at her. "That could actually work. You really are a genius."

"Well, I wouldn't say genius, but thanks." She chuckled, watching as he jotted down more notes. "Now I have to ask. Have you kissed yet?"

Kowalski broke his pencil tip on his notes. "Eh heh well…" He put the notes away. "Technically yes, but at the same time not really."

"And what does that mean?"

"There was one very quick goodbye kiss after our first date, but uh… It was more like a quick brush than anything else."

"Oh you then you need to kiss him!"

"HA!"

"Oh come on, Romeo, you could do it." She playfully punched his shoulder.

"We'll see." He shook his head, smiling. "But I'll let him know that Halloween is an option now. Thank you."

"It's no problem, Kowalski. I'll keep him so busy he won't even have time to notice you're missing."

Kowalski nodded, looking out the cave's entrance. "Private, we need to go. More visitors are heading our way."


	12. Planning

_ **Chapter 12: Planning** _

Blowhole checked the time on his phone while he listened to a lobster prattle on about his current stock position. All of this information could have been summarized in an email and he was ready to move on to other things that required his attention.

"—And that concludes the stock situation."

_Finally_.

Blowhole nodded. "Good to see we're still at the top of our market, Red Twelve. Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm needed at…"

"Scheme planning, Doc," Red One says, looking at a clipboard.

"Scheme planning. Wait, didn't I meet with them last week?"

"Yeah, but they have more for you to sign off on."

"Of course they do." He sighed, but followed the lobster out.

Red One looked up at him. "So uh, Doc, your date last night went pretty well right? Anything you want me to add to Project Firefly?"

Blowhole glanced down at him. "Make a note about the possum mother. Also—" He paused for a moment. "Actually, I'll add the other details myself later."

"So that's all?"

"Yes. That's all," he said with a slight edge to his voice, as though threatening him to continue the conversation.

"Gotcha, Doc." Red One closed the file as they entered the scheming room.

The lobsters looked up and the chorus of "Doc! Doc!" began. Blowhole sighed and listened to them, signing off as needed. Some days, he wished they could scheme without his constant approval and supervision… But then again, these were _his_ schemes they were working with.

"Red Thirty-Seven, double check your math and we'll chat next time." He glanced at the clock.

Why was it so hard to concentrate today? The clock was moving so slowly… But what was he waiting for? Zoo closing time? Surely he was not waiting for the time he knew Kowalski should be available to call?

No, no, that couldn't be it. Maybe he was forgetting some appointment or something? That must be it. Why would he care if Kowalski got in trouble because he got him home late?

Crabcakes. That _was_ it.

Blowhole signed the last request form, shaking his head. Starting to care about his enemy was not part of his plans for Firefly. Starting to care about his enemy could render anything that could potentially harm Kowalski unusable...which was why he chose not to disclose phone information to Red One for the file. Kowalski did after all keep his and his teammates's schedules and even some notes on his phone. All of which could be _extremely_ useful.

He rubbed his flipper over his face with a groan. Loyalty bonding… Such an inconvenience sometimes. He could try resisting it and call off their third date. The slight bonding would most likely fade in a few months tops. And yet, did he really want to resist the bonding?

"Red One."

The lobster scurried over. "Yeah, Doc?"

"I'm going to my lab. While I'm there, I do not want to be disturbed."

"Gotcha, Doc. I'll reschedule the meeting with—"

"Yeah, yeah, reschedule whatever. Just email me with the details." He nodded, already rolling away.

However, his lab was not empty as he was expecting.

"Have you been waiting for me, Parker?"

The monotreme shrugged, hopping down from the table. "Not long. Main thing is I got that part for satellite thing. Left it in hanger C." He crossed his arms.

"Oh good." Blowhole nodded, rolling past him to his workbench. "I'll let Red Fifty-Two know to retrieve it."

"That's not the only thing, Francis."

He stopped and looked back at him. First name use… This wasn't going to be work related.

"You still experimenting with Kowalski?"

"Yeah, why?" He gave him his full attention now.

Parker looked at him. "For your scheme?"

"Mostly."

"You know usually I couldn't care less about who you're dating… But this one I think is a bad idea now."

Blowhole sighed. "And why is that?"

"Besides the fact that he's your enemy? You know if you bond with him that's going to complicate all of your future schemes. He may be underappreciated by his team, but he's too emotionally attached to them to ever leave them. You know that."

"I disagree. I think with the right words and incentives, he could be convinced to join us instead. That would reduce complications and weaken the rest of the peng-u-ins."

"I'm just saying, Francis. I think it's a bad idea. He might try to convince you to pursue redemption. And I just want you to know, that if he does, that I want you to leave me out of it."

Blowhole shook his head with a grin. "Oh Parker, you joker. I'm not at risk for redemption. He's already slipping our way." He chuckled then, turning to look at him. "It starts with little lies about where he is and who he is with. Then he will begin to realize that he could get away with much more and discover how much he enjoys the freedom of doing what he wants without threat of getting reprimanded. Eventually, he'll be easy to convince to leave his team… Maybe even turn on Skipper." He grinned.

Parker sighed, shaking his head. "Still think it's a bad idea and that you're making a huge mistake." He waddled out the door.

"I know what I'm doing, Parker." He called after him.

Blowhole then glanced at the clock, took out his phone, pressed Kowalski's number, and put his phone on speaker. He was answered very quickly.

"Hello, Francis… I hope you realize this is the most awkward medium to talk with me through."

"Jan, you're awkward no matter the method of communication."

"Mm. So what's up?"

"Did you get back in time?"

"No, I was late...But he didn't question my excuse."

"Good." He nodded, looking over his plans. "So are we waiting another month until our next trial again?"

"Actually, an opportunity has come up so I could be free on Halloween...Earlier than midnight."

"Oh?"

"Skipper's going to be busy, so he won't notice my absence."

Blowhole picked up his pencil and considered this. "Alright, so Halloween. We should do something thematic then."

"That could be interesting...That'd be like what? A scary movie?"

"What do you think about ghosts?"

"Ambivalent. Why?"

Blowhole blinked. That was not the answer he was expecting. "You, a peng-u-in of science, is on the fence about _ghosts_?"

"Look. After that in depth course I took, I cannot conclusively say they do or do not exist anymore."

"_Wow_."

"Anyway, you were saying?"

"I was thinking maybe we could go check out a supposedly haunted place, maybe spook some humans or something...But if you're a _believer_ then you might be too scared to." He smirked, jotting down an equation.

"I did not say I believed in ghosts. I'm _ambivalent_."

"You have to pick a side, Kowalski. Can't be ambivalent about something that doesn't exist." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Of course, if we investigated for ourselves, we might could gather evidence for one side of the other…"

"Is… Is this you letting me assist in the trial planning for once?"

"Yeah, why not? I hadn't planned anything yet."

"So where would we be investing?"

"No idea. I don't keep up with pseudoscience." He tapped his pencil to his rostrum. "But perhaps you could drop by one day the week after next and we could do some research about it?"

"You want me to come to your lair?"

"Yeah? Just a mutual research endeavor, not a date or anything."

Kowalski is quiet for a moment before he replies. "...I think I should be able to do that."

"Cool. I'll let you know when I'm back from Hawaii and then you can drop by."

"Alright, it's a date… Uh, research meeting."

He shook his head. "I'll talk to you later, Jan. Don't let the ghosts bite."

"Haha, very funny. Bye, Francis."

Blowhole put his phone away and set his pencil aside. He probably needed to start packing for that business trip now that he thought about it.


	13. Francis's Lab

_ **Chapter 13: Francis's Lab** _

A week later, Kowalski was driving to New Jersey. It was late in the afternoon. He had told Skipper he needed to go by a lab in Pennsylvania, which was roughly the same distance away, but in the complete opposite direction. At least he had managed to get out during the daylight.

The previous week had been pretty boring. Small missions, routine training, and smile and waving, that was all. That being said, he had looked back at his EMF detector and did some tweaking... And had started building his own 'spirit box' like was mentioned in his class. His, however, was called the Ghost-Talkie since he built it from an old walkie-talkie. It wasn't finished yet, but it should be ready for Halloween.

He was looking forward to seeing Francis…And his lair. A time he could actually glance around without having to dodge lasers? Heck yes.

Kowalski thought back to their very first time crossing Blowhole in one of his lairs. Of course, that was before he had minions and his even bigger and better lairs, but even that first lair had been pretty impressive. The laser system alone was phenomenal. At least he had been polite enough to let him geek out in between laser attacks.

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head. If it wasn't for the fact they were there to stop him, he totally would have offered to work with him on a project or two back then. He had been such a fanboy… In secret, of course.

And then, many missions later, the banter and rivalry grew… But he couldn't say he ever hated him like Skipper. No, no quite the opposite. Kowalski was slightly jealous of him, sure… But Blowhole never failed to impress him with his schemes and inventions…. And then that smirk. _Cod, that smirk_. His being evil should not be hot...But it totally was.

Kowalski parked the coup outside the amusement park fence in a bush. He took out his phone and texted him that he was there before sliding along the sidewalk, looking for the entrance. He felt along the wall and nearby rocks for a hidden switch.

"Ah hah!" He flipped a switch and stepped back, waiting for the wall to open up. Instead, the ground dropped away from beneath him. "GOOD GALILEO GALILEIIII!"

He fell through a network of ropes, but stopped falling before he would have hit the floor. There he swung, tangled up in ropes. He wriggled, but it was useless. He was stuck.

And so he hung there, waiting.

And waiting…

And waiting...Until finally Francis rolled into the room. He did not look amused.

"Hey Francis, how's it hanging?" Kowalski chuckled with a sheepish grin.

"You idiot. You couldn't wait for me to open the door, could you?" He frowned at him, crossing his flippers.

"Yeah, in hindsight I should have waited."

"Mmhmm."

Kowalski grinned at him still. "Can I have a bit of help down, please?"

Blowhole looked at him and poked his beak. The penguin swayed slightly left and right. "Maybe...Or maybe I should just let you hang here for a while longer."

"Although this view of you is quite a charming angle, Francis, the blood rushing to my brain is making me rather dizzy."

"Hey, hey, don't you dare throw up on my floor." He reached up and started untying the knots. "But maybe with that extra oxygen reaching your brain you'll make better decisions." He untied the last knot.

Kowalski fell down onto the floor. "Thanks…," he grunted.

"Next time, why don't you wait for me to open the door?"

"Noted…" He stood up and dusted himself off. "But I must say, that trap door is very impressive."

"It is, isn't it? I designed it with Hans in mind."

"You know Hans?" Kowalski looked up at him.

Blowhole nodded as he started to roll away. "Yes, I made the mistake of working with him once to get rid of Skipper… You remember that time with the Mind-Jacker?"

"Oh. I hadn't known Hans was involved," he said, following him.

"He was merely bate and distraction…. And an annoyance for me."

"That does not surprise me."

Blowhole nodded again. "He's dropped by a few times, trying to talk me into teaming up with him, but I'm not making _that_ mistake again."

"Understandable. I wouldn't want to work with Hans either...Just in principle. He had a third party build his freeze ray for him."

"Ugh. He kept asking me for my wifi password."

"Wow." He scrunched up his face. "I thought it was a universal rule that you don't ask for the wifi password; you have to earn that knowledge."

"_Thank you! _Finally someone who understands!"

Kowalski smiled as he waddled beside him. It felt nice being thanked. He looked at the different rooms that they passed. He sort of wished that he could ask for a tour, but he knew better than to do that. He was sure Blowhole probably had elements of his future schemes around and he wouldn't want to be spoiled ahead of time.

"Love your interior design choices."

"Thanks, I only buy the best." Blowhole glanced down at him thoughtfully. "... Perhaps later I could show you around a bit."

Kowalski looked at him. "Oh could you?" He wagged his tail.

"Sure, if we have time. But we should try planning our date first."

"And where are we doing that?"

Blowhole opened a door. "In my lab."

"Oh!" He waddled in and gasped. "It's so big!"

"Well, yeah. Why would I choose to work in a room the size of a shoe box?"

Kowalski chuckled awkwardly. "Touché." He looked around, trying to take it all in. The perfectly organized tools and materials, the empty space, the half-finished prototypes resting on a side bench… It was love at first sight. Sorry, Francis, but this lab was sexier than your smirk. _Oh mama._

"Are you going to start drooling?"

"Atadjfsj!" Kowalski jumped as he realized Blowhole had leaned down beside him.

Blowhole chuckled, leaning back upright. "I'm going to turn on some music. I'll meet you at my computer." He gestured to the desk at the left. "Over there."

"Alright." The penguin smiled and slid over to the desk. He jumped and scrambled up onto the desk and sat next to the keyboard. The computer monitor, mounted above the desk, was bigger than he was. He resisted the urge to climb up and hug it. Instead, he investigated the keyboard and mouse. He lifted the mouse curiously; the red light it shined caught his attention. "Francis, your computer has a retina scanner?"

"What are you-" He looked over at him from the stereo. "No. Don't shine that in your eyes. It's just a mouse."

"Oh." Kowalski set the mouse back down. "Alice's doesn't do that."

"I doubt her mouse is wireless. What about your mouse?" Blowhole rolled over to the computer.

"Ah...I don't have one. My computer is self built...A tv screen with a modified typewriter for a keyboard. I just use the down button."

"Wait, what?" He stopped typing and looked at him.

"What what?" Kowalski tilted his head.

Blowhole frowned slightly. "You're trying to do PhD coursework on a computer you've pieced together from old junkyard parts? How well does that work?"

"It's not too bad...A little slow and glitchy, but it works."

"Not trying to say that one of my inventions would be better...But would you be interested in something better?"

Kowalski looked at him. "I want to say yes, but at the same time your inventions are out of my price range." He smiled a little. "But thanks for the offer."

"What if you didn't have to pay for it?"

"I beg your pardon?"

He rolled his eye. "Just wait here, I'll be right back." He then rolled out of the room.

Kowalski sat on the desk and waited patiently for him to return. He felt both curious and confused at the conversation that just occured. What did Francis mean by "not have to pay for it?" Who else was going to pay for it? Skipper would never okay him to spend his materials budget on a Dolphinware computer.

Blowhole then returned with a netbook under his flipper. "Smallest laptop model I've designed yet, but don't underestimate its processor from its size. It's just as capable for higher processing challenges as this one here." He nodded to his desktop and then held out the laptop to him.

"I...I don't understand." He just looked at Blowhole and the laptop.

"This is a laptop. You know what one of those are, right?"

"Yes, I know what a laptop is." Kowalski frowned.

"Good. Well, this laptop, is now _your _laptop. As in, _I_'m _giving _it to _you_." He held it out to him again.

"What's the catch?"

"No catch. Just one scientist giving another scientist a new laptop."

Kowalski looked at the laptop and then back at Blowhole. "Francis...I...I can't-"

"You can." He then gave him a look. "You know, in some cultures, turning down a gift is rude."

"I'm not trying to be...It's just...That's a full computer. I've seen how much those cost-"

"Jan. Take the flipping computer."

Kowalski finally took the little, sleek black computer from him and hugged it close with wide eyes. "Thank you...I...I don't know what else to say, Francis."

"Don't worry about it." He shrugged and returned to typing in his own password. "Why don't you start getting it set up and you could use it to help plan out our date, hmm?"

"Okay…" He sat the laptop on the desk beside him and opened it. It was so beautiful. He turned it on _and the keys lit up_. Internally, he squealed gleefully. He tried to keep a calm composure externally. He didn't want to seem like too big of a geek in front of Francis after all.


	14. Ghostly Research

_ **Chapter 14: Ghostly Research** _

"Okay, so I'll look up places in New Jersey, and you can check New York," Blowhole said, already typing into the search bar. "Surely we'll find _something_, but if not, we can check Pennsylvania, too."

Kowalski nodded and looked at the little laptop. "Okay, I found a list."

"Let's hear it."

"Okay." He scrolled down. "There's the Palmyra History museum—"

"Let's not do a museum. We'll have to deal with too many humans that way. They may skew our results."

"Alright ...Amityville Horror House? Oh wait, no. That's currently lived in. Uh, Buffalo Central Terminal?"

"Next."

"Rolling Hills Asylum?"

"Boring. Next."

"Belhurst castle and winery?"

Blowhole tapped his rostrum thoughtfully. "A scientific investigation and wine? Not bad...We'll list that as a maybe…" He looked around for a moment. He could have sworn he had a white board around somewhere. "Do you have your clipboard on you?"

"Always." Kowalski took out his clipboard and wrote it down. "It says here it has been a casino, a speakeasy, a supper club, and is now a hotel. It's thought to be haunted by an Italian opera singer who was crushed by a tunnel collapse while waiting for her lover."

"Not bad, but what's next?"

"Sleepy Hollow Cemetery."

"That's like Headless Horseman nonsense, right?"

"Yep."

"Go ahead and put that one on the maybe list, too. What else?"

"Forest Park Cemetery? They have bleeding statues."

Blowhole shook his head. "That's easy to fake. Next."

"Marjim Manor winery."

"Wine and ghosts is still a great combination, but does it have anything else to offer?"

Kowalski scrolled down. "It might have a ghost dog?"

"Eh, not good enough. Anything else?"

"That exhausts my list."

"Okay, then listen to what I found." Blowhole turned back to his computer. "There's Devil's Tower in Alpine. Story is kind of bland on that one though. The Pine Barrens might be cool."

Kowalski closed his computer and looked at him. "That's where the Jersey Devil supposedly lives, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'll list that as a maybe."

"The Gates of Hell in Clifton."

"What the kipper is that?"

Blowhole clicked on a link. "Network of storm drains...Animal sacrifices, Red Eyed Mike the guard ghost."

"So it's a haunted sewer?"

"Pretty much."

"Ew. Anything else?"

"Clinton Road."

"A haunted road?"

"Apparently one of the most haunted roads in the US."

Kowalski opened his computer again. "Clinton Road, you said?" he asked as he started searching for it.

"Yeah." Blowhole looked over Kowalski's shoulder.

"Mob murders, haunted bridge, ghost camaro, strange animals, cultists…."

"I'm liking the sound of this road more and more. Want to describe it in more detail?"

Kowalski nodded, clicking on another link. "According to this site, there's a bridge haunted by some boy that doesn't like it when you flick coins in. Says here that the ghost will give the coin back to you. Story goes that the boy was dared by his comrades to stand on the bridge while they drove to Route 21 and back. They returned to find him dead."

"So Casper the coin rejector was roadkill. I fail to see the connection between coins and death on a bridge, but do please continue"

"Apparently it is theorized that he dropped his own coin and when he went to pick it up, was run over. Also says here that if you drop a coin and lean over to pick it up, that the ghost boy will push you into the water so you aren't run over, too. One story claims the ghost boy threw something metal at their car at the mention of him and his quarter."

"Mmm."

"There are ruins of an old castle just a little ways from the road itself. Apparently some cults use the ruins for their rituals and animal sacrifices. Some people claim it's cursed and just crossing into the area near the old castle left them with mysterious bruising and ill feelings."

"What else?"

"This segment is a little confusing."

Blowhole glanced down at him and held out his flipper for the computer. "Let me see."

Kowalski handed the laptop over to him.

He looked at the screen and then glanced at Kowalski. "Did you mean to zoom in so much?"

"Yeah, just made it easier to read. But feel free to zoom out."

"Okay." He nodded, zooming back out on the page. He makes a mental note of this. "Let's see...Don't get out of your car if you see a cow, dead or alive, or a couch in the road, because cannibalistic albinos will use these as a lure so they can kill or eat you…What were these humans taking when they wrote this? Were they high?" He shook his head. "Anyway, the said cannibals are supposed to have a village in the woods near Dead Man's Curve along the road."

"I told you it didn't make sense."

Blowhole zoomed back in on the page and gave it back to Kowalski. "All I'm hearing are a bunch of crazy humans who are scared of the woods."

Kowalski took back the computer and scrolled down. "Apparently aliens have been spotted above Dead Man's Curve."

"Seriously? Why the cod would aliens visit _a road_?"

"Because they want to get to the other side…" He snickered.

Blowhole side glanced at him. "Are you proud of yourself there?"

"A little bit." He still snickered slightly before clearing his throat and looking back at the computer. "Um, this says that there once was a zoo near this area that was abandoned, Jungle Habitat. Either hybrid creatures or ghost animals from said zoo are thought to have been spotted."

"That's the least scary thing you've mentioned about this place. Oh no, wild ex-zoo animals roam nearby! The horror!" He laughed. "I bet you that they're just living in a colony in the woods and they're faking all this stuff to keep the humans away so they aren't sent to another zoo. I would totally do that."

"So how does a zoo animal colony explain ghost cars?" Kowalski looked at him.

"Mmmmm, not sure yet. Give me more details."

"So the story goes, there was a girl speeding in her blue camaro down the road. She hit the divider on Dead Man's Curve and was killed instantly. Apparently she and her car still haunt the road."

"And the other ghosts?"

"A black pickup truck that mysteriously appears and disappears and tries to run you off the road. A couple ghost park rangers roam the woods, warning you to be wary of campfires."

"What idiot wouldn't be wary about fires?"

"Human idiots, of course. Anyway, last of all, there was mob activity. A guy murdered, frozen, and then dumped along the road. However, the mobster was caught...But I guess they're trying to say that guy might haunt the road, too?"

Blowhole leaned back against his computer desk thoughtfully. "So it sounds like if we're really wanting to see if we see anything, Clinton Road would be our best bet. I'd say either we investigate Clinton Road, or that Belhurst castle and winery...Because ghost hunting with a glass of wine sounds like a Halloween date."

"My nerves say we should check out the castle...But my scientific curiosity wants to check out the road."

"Alright, then it's decided. We'll check out Clinton Road and the surrounding area." Blowhole looked at Kowalski. "So did that class mention anything about investigations?"

"Yeah. I already had an EMF detector. I'm working on a spirit box now. They said we're supposed to be respectful to the ghosts, so I guess we're supposed to try having polite conversations with them?"

"Mm, we'll see." He looked at his computer as a notification popped up. "Crabcakes, I almost forgot about that."

"What?"

"The yearly Halloween party we hold to appease the lobsters."

Kowalski raised a brow. "To appease the lobsters?"

"Don't look at me like that. There's only one of me, and at least 300 of them. Threats and examples only work so well… But letting the minions have a bit of fun now and then greatly boosts their productivity and loyalty." He smirked. "Anyway, it shouldn't affect our plans, I'll just have to sneak out from it. Red One will be able to cover for me fine."

"So where would we meet?"

Blowhole tapped his flippers together thoughtfully. "Honestly, you haven't been to a real party until you've been to a dolphin party, Kowalski. If you could come here, you could catch the tail end of it. Then we could drive together to Clinton."

Kowalski pulled up a map. "Your lair is like two hours away from Clinton, whereas Central Park is roughly an hour away from both."

"True… But ignoring that, if you come here, we could party a little, then go check out the road, then maybe come back here for a late night horror flick."

"That does sound fun…"

"Then that's what we'll do. You just get here as soon as you can on Halloween. I'll figure out the rest." He looked down at him thoughtfully. "Do you have time for a quick tour or do you need to start back?"

Kowalski checked the time. "I told Skipper I was getting Osmium from a lab in Pennsylvania."

"What do you need that for?"

"I don't, but it was the first element that came to mind." He rubbed his temples. "I'm not good at spontaneous lying."

"Well, as long as he believes you you're not doing too bad at it." He rolled over to a cabinet. "But if you need to take back a test tube of something, we can always slap an Osmium label on one for appearances. It's not like Skipper would know the difference between Osmium and Maguffium."

"True. So yeah, I have a have a little time."

Blowhole nodded and rolled over to the door. "Alright, follow me. I can show you a few rooms."

Kowalski hopped down from the desk and followed him.

"So you've seen my lab, the atrium… The trap room…" He looked down the hall. "Chrome Claw is down this way." He rolled to a door and opened it. From the door, a metal bridge was suspended over a large wide open room. Below them, Chrome Claw was gnawing on a tree trunk.

"He really is an impressive creation, Francis."

"Yes, he's a good boy. It's fun to take him out to the beach and watch as he terrorizes the tourists."

Kowalski looked up at him and then down at the monster. "Monsters are good at that I guess… Would you say that's the main purpose for them?"

"Nah." He looked down at him. "That was just his purpose. Hypothetically speaking, I'm sure 'good' monsters are possible, if that's what you were aiming to ask."

The peng-u-in seemed to perk up at that answer. He moved closer to the edge. "Do you have other creations?"

"A mutant rabbit. He's a little testy though, more so than Chrome Claw."

"Cool. I had a gelatin monster once that I created by accident… Long story short, I had to send it and its replicates to Mars."

Blowhole patted his head. "That's rough, buddy. Anyway, if you want to possibly get back near lights out you probably need to be leaving. Let's go back for your computer and Osmium, and I'll walk you out. I can point out a few other things on the way."


	15. Halloween

_ **Chapter 15: ** _ ** _Halloween_ **

"Careful with that. Knives are sharp you know." Kowalski quickly slid over to assist Private with a pumpkin he was carving.

Private nodded, holding the pumpkin, and let him take the knife. "How do you start one of these again?"

"Honestly, I'd suggest cutting around the bottom. It tends to last longer that way." He looked at him and the pumpkin. "Actually, on second thought, I'll do it." He gently took the pumpkin and set it on the table. "But watch what I do so you can do it for the next." He carefully demonstrated how to cut the pumpkin.

"Ohhh, that looks so much easier than what I was thinking…" He nodded, watching him. "I can gut it."

Kowalski nodded, passing it back. "Be careful when starting to cut your design, too. Rico's probably the better instructor for that… But please watch your flippers."

"Kowalski, I know how to be careful. I have used a knife before."

"I know… But one can't be too cautious." He nervously smiled.

Private glanced at him. "Seriously, I will be just smashing on my own. You can see if Marlene has something for you to do." He winked at him.

For a moment, the scientist just looked at him in confusion. Why would he dare leave him alone with a knife? What sort of irresponsible brother would that make him?... Even if Private was technically a young adult now. He was still the baby brother.

"_I said_—" He winked harder. "Go see if Marlene has something for you to do."

Kowalski blinked as recognition hit. He smiled sheepishly, nodding, but did not move from his spot. "That can wait a few m—"

Private sighed dramatically. "Kowalski…" He looked up at the ceiling. "If I injure myself, I know where to find assistance. I'm not a child anymore." He looked at him.

He made eye contact with him and sighed. "Right, right… Sorry…" He waddled over to the ladder, but paused before climbing up. "Happy Halloween."

"Have fun and be careful!" He chirped after him and waved the knife.

"DOn't dO thAt!" He gasped and then started up the ladder. "I'm serious! You be careful!" He pointed his flipper at him and finally left the HQ.

Kowalski stood on the ice flow and looked for Marlene. He had packed his ghost hunting gear in the coup the night before, so that all he would have left to do was to let her know that he was leaving so that she could start covering for him. He would have to thank her again more graciously later. He really did appreciate how she was handling Skipper for him. They truly did not deserve her.

He then spotted her by the fountain and hopped out of the habitat. He slid over to her and softly cleared his throat. "Marlene?"

Marlene turned from the banner she was tying. "Oh hey. You needing that 'to-do list' now?"

"Yes." He nodded with a small smile. "And again, thank you."

She hopped down from the fountain and handed him a blank piece of paper. "Nah, don't worry about it. Go have fun." She chuckled.

"You're the best!" he called back as he slid away towards the garage.

Kowalski nudged a trashcan and uncovered a secret panel of buttons. He clicked one and slid into the garage as the door opened. The coup was just as he had left it, thankfully. He waddled over and checked under the back seat. His duffle bag was untouched. He pulled it out and laid it in the passenger seat and then drove out of the zoo.

As he drove, Kowalski considered other possible methods of transportation. If after this date, Francis was interested in continuing their relationship, then constantly borrowing the coup was not going to work. He needed his own means of transportation...Perhaps his own coup? Or maybe even a mini motorcycle? Teleportation would be ideal, but sadly his math for that was still problematic...But maybe he and Francis could work on that together one day.

But even still...a mini motorcycle would be really cool. He may not have been cool enough for Doris, but maybe he could be cooler for Francis. He was sure he could be cooler if he tried hard enough. He could be a...a _Coolwalski_.

After a while, Kowalski finally pulled up outside of Blowhole's lair. He took out his phone and texted him that he was there and if he should leave his gear in his car or bring it in with him, and then waited.

When the reply came through, he nodded, left the bag, and slid over to the lair entrance. This time, he waited patiently by the hidden door. Hanging from the ceiling was not the party entrance he had in mind.

The door opened. Blowhole rolled out to him, wearing a Dracula outfit and cape. He looked down at Kowalski. "Crabcakes. I forgot to tell you to wear a costume."

Kowalski looked up at him. "And here I thought dolphins remembered everything." He chuckled slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. "But perhaps that's for the best, I can just wait—"

"No, no, no. Come inside. I know I have something that you can wear." He turned and began to roll away. "Follow me."

Kowalski waddled after him, looking at the Halloween decorations. He could hear the party music coming from some distant room. When was the last big party he had been to again? It had to have been when they were stuck in Madagascar… That was years ago.

Blowhole opened a door and motioned for him to enter. "Welcome to my bedroom."

In comparison to the lab, it was fairly simple. There were a few bookshelves, a bed that was low to the floor, a dresser, a closet. But like the lab, it appeared to be well organized.

"Let's see…" He pulled open a drawer and took out a cat-eared headband and a color. "Oh yeah this'll work."

Kowalski looked at him and squeaked, "I'm nOt wEArIng thAt!"

"Don't be lame, Kowalski." He jingled the collar with a smirk.

"I may not have much shame, but I do have a little dignity!"

"What's undignified about being a cat? I think you actually have a little shame."

"NO!"

"Prove it." He jingled the collar again, still smirking.

With a groan, Kowalski finally took the costume. "Alright, fine…" He sighed and put them on. "Happy?"

"Oh yeah." He chuckled and looked at the time. "This way to the party. Should be a good hour or so left until it starts slowing down." He rolled out.

Kowalski followed him still. With every jingle of his costume, he felt like an idiot.

He was a feathered cat.

As this realization dawned on him, he rubbed a flipper over his face. Francis didn't forget to tell him about a costume. This was planned. It had to have been planned. What were the odds he'd have a cat collar and ears small enough to fit a penguin just laying around in a drawer? Slim to none.

Francis, you sly dog.

Kowalski glanced up at the dolphin and shook his head. He just purred the one time, but apparently Francis was not going to let it go.

Blowhole led him into a room filled mainly with lobsters. There were some other animals too, probably some of the other agents on his payroll, and—

Kowalski quickly sidestepped behind Blowhole. "You didn't tell me there were going to be other villains here."

"They're nothing to worry about. They're just some of my clients and investors."

"And a few of Skipper's other enemies!"

"Chillax, Kowalski. You're perfectly safe. You're all here as my guests, and they know the unwritten rule I have."

"Which is?"

"Don't wreck the groove. Those who wreck the groove are never invited back."

"So...dance fights are still on the table."

Blowhole glanced down at him. "Just stay with me, Mittens, and you'll be fine."

"MIttEns?!"

"If you're going to act like a scaredy cat, I'm going to address you like one." He leaned down and smirked. "Now get with the groove and quit worrying." He flicked the collar bell with his flipper.

Kowalski felt the heat creep into his face. "Eheheh…OkAy," he squeaked.


	16. The Party

_ **Chapter 16: The Party** _

"And you're not concerned at all about them seeing us together? Won't my existence here pull your villain credibility into question?" Kowalski asked as he followed Blowhole.

"Eh, you're not the first good guy I've invited over. They'll get over it." He shrugged. "Obviously, it's my party so I can invite who I want, whether they're clients or fellow Inventors."

"I see."

"Why don't you go get something to drink? If anyone tries to attack you, just scream, okay?"

Kowalski gave him a look and rolled his eyes. "Sure." He waddled off to the bar.

Blowhole waited and watched him for a moment to make sure he made it there, before turning and rolling over to a small group of villains: a squirrel, a penguin, a monkey, and two gophers. Not the strangest menagerie he has ever hosted, but definitely a few new faces.

"Good evening!" He smiled at them. "Red, I thought you were going to be unable to make it this year. I see you've brought your...peng-u-in, too."

"Yes, yes. He is my pet. I would not dare leave him unsupervised, " the squirrel said. "I've been looking at your newest laser eyes."

"Oh yes, they're state-of-the-art." He nodded and looked at the others. "My apologies, I don't believe we have officially met yet?"

"Name's Bo, and this here's my brother, Gomer," one of the gophers said. "We heard tell around the park about your, uh, evil devices and what not and thought we'd check it out."

"Mmm, well it's always a pleasure to meet my new customers. I'm sure you will not be disappointed. Dolphinware Devices are the best evil technology out there." He smiled and looked to the spider-monkey. "White Widow I presume?"

"You presume correctly, Doctor." She nodded.

"Charmed, I'm sure." He winked at her…or well, blinked at her.

"Red told me of your tech when we met so I could return his pet to him. I thought it sounded worth investigating."

"We have an excellent variety of evil technology. I'm sure we have something that will suit your needs."

"I'm sure I'll be in touch."

"Excellent." He nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I need to check on my plus one." He rolled away towards the bar. It looked like there was some chicken talking to Kowalski, but seeing as how he hadn't screamed yet, he must have felt like he wasn't in any danger.

"Oh hello, fishy face."

Blowhole froze and looked up. "Julien?! What are _you_ doing here? I explicitly told you that you were _not_ invited."

Julien was hanging from a decoration dramatically. "Silly fishy face. You don't invite the king. The king invites himself."

"How did you even get here?!"

"I stowed away in the brainy penguin's car." He looked at his nails. "You really downgraded."

"Need I remind you that _you_ backstabbed _me."_ He growled.

"Still. I'm a king and he is not."

"King of the buffoons.. ." He rolled his eye.

Julien looked a little offended and confused. "I'm a lemur, not a baboon!"

"Riiiight." He looked at him. "I'll tell Red One to get an agent to escort you back to the zoo. You had your chance with me, Julien. You blew it. I've moved on."

"Oh have you? You are over this?" The lemur motioned to himself.

Blowhole leaned in closer. "Over. It." He then leaned away. "Now. I have a date to get back to. Good night, Julien." He turned and looked at the bar.

Kowalski was no longer there.

"Crabcakes." He turned and looked around the room. "Now see what you did? You distracted me and I lost him!" he grumbled.

"Oh yeah, I'm good at the distracty thingies."

"Shut your royal pie hole. I'm trying to hear his bell." He looked at the party chaos and concentrated on the sounds. Lobsters gossiping, no. Thriller, no. The clinking of glasses at the bar, no.

There it was. The very soft jingle of a cat bell.

Blowhole looked in that direction and finally spotted Kowalski and the hen on the dance floor. He frowned slightly.

Julien jumped onto his head. "Ooh, the chicken lady is dancing with the smelly penguin. Scandalous."

"Shut up and get off my head." He swatted at him and then crossed his flippers. "Who the flounder is she anyway?" he muttered.

"The chicken lady? I think she's the nerdy penguin's ex."

Blowhole looked at him. "What."

Julien shrugged. "I know I saw them make the kissy faces at the zoo."

"Maybe I'll cut in for the next dance..."

"You know, you could dance with me…"

"Pass." He rolled his eyes and rolled away from him and towards the birds. The closer he got, the more clearly he could see Kowalski's uncomfortable expression.

As the song ended, Blowhole tapped the hen's shoulder. "Ahem, mind if I cut in?"

The blue Hen looked at him. "What?"

However, instead of answering her, Blowhole grabbed Kowalski by the flipper and rolled away with him. He looked down into two very thankful bright blue eyes. "So who was that?" he asked as he pressed a button on his Segway console. A small stage attachment assembled itself at the front of the Segway.

"Blue. An evil genius chicken that I had hoped was over me. I flirted with her twice to provide a distraction… But apparently she's hung up on me." He shook his head. "She's not my type though, " he then added, looking back at Blowhole.

The dolphin put him down on the stage. "I would have been over sooner, but there was a party crasher that distracted me."

"It's fine." He smiled at him and looked at the mini dance floor. "So… Is this your way of asking me to dance, Francis?"

"Who said I was giving you an option?" He grinned at him. "You do know how to tango, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good." He pulled him closer as the song began. "So let's make our exes seethe with jealousy, Mittens."

"I'm nOt bEIng A scArEdY cAt!"

Blowhole twirled him and pulled him close once more. "Perhaps I just wanted to fluster you."

"Cod, you're evil." Kowalski attempted to push him away, but Blowhole grabbed his flipper.

"Oh don't play innocent. You walked into this with eyes wide open. You knew I was evil from the beginning, and yet here you are. Obviously it's not a turn off for you."

Kowalski's feathers rustled and he avoided eye contact as he was brought close once again. "No…It's not a turn off."

Blowhole leaned in closer. "And I know you like my smiles, " he whispered.

The peng-u-in stepped back on the mini floor with widened eyes. "How do you—"

"Well, for starters, you mumble in your sleep." He moved forward.

"_Oh cod_."

Blowhole chuckled, twirling him and bowing him back. "That's not the only thing you do in your sleep, Mittens, " he murmured by his ear hole.

Kowalski looked at him. "What else—"

"You purr." He flicked the bell with a smirk and looked at his beak. He could kiss him now...But he wouldn't. He could tell Kowalski was expecting a kiss, but he'd keep him waiting.

Blowhole glanced around them and noticed they were being watched. "Maybe it's time to make that exit, " he then murmured instead, leaning Kowalski back up and twirling him. He pulled him close again.

"Always keep them wanting more." Kowalski winked at him.

"Hold on to your ears." He then grinned, pressing another button on the console. The floor dropped away from below them and they landed on a slick ramp a few feet below.

Kowalski held on tightly to Blowhole and the Segway. His cat ears were knocked off kilter by the rough landing onto the ramp. He looked at him, frowning. "A little more warning would be nice!"

"I told you to hold on to your ears."

"And how am I supposed to know that means we're going to be plummeting through the floor?!"

"Chillax, Mittens." He chuckled. "I had a good grip on you."

"NO I WAS THE ONE HOLDING ON TO YOU."

"Eh, same difference."

Kowalski rolled his eyes and took off the ears and collar. "Do you want these back?"

"Nah, you can put them in your car." He rolled into a room with various vehicles. "Go out that door, then left and you should get to the front where you can find your car. I'll be getting our ride started."

"Alright." He nodded and jumped down to the floor.

"Wait, you said there are supposed ghosts that like to run cars off the road, yeah?"

"That's what it said online."

"Cool. Okay, go get your stuff." He looked at his vehicles. He rolled over to one that closely resembled a luxury car. He took out a set of keys from a compartment on his Segway and clicked the keypad. The car unlocked with a chirp and he opened the door.

Blowhole then carefully lowered himself into the seat from the Segway and then put it in the backseat with his costume. He put the keys in the ignition and waited for Kowalski to return. As he waited, he fiddled with the radio.

The passenger door opened and Kowalski hopped in with a very curious expression. "How are you going to drive? You don't have feet…"

Blowhole took his duffel bag from him and put it in the back seat by his Segway. "I don't need feet to drive, Kowalski." He gestured to the console. "Everything I need to drive are right up here. It's adapted to be completely operable by flippers."

"No way." He gasped and leaned over to get a better look. "Oh my cod that's so cool and practical."

"Thanks." He pressed a button and pulled out from the garage. "Now let's get out of here."


	17. Clinton Road

_ **Chapter 17: Clinton Road** _

Kowalski watched out the window. He smiled slightly at all the children out in costumes out trick-or-treating. It felt weird not participating in the zoo's yearly Halloween party. He knew by now that they would have let the park children in for games and treats. Although he knew that everyone had it covered without him, part of him was disappointed with himself that he chose to do this instead.

He glanced at Blowhole thoughtfully. What did he think of kids? Just in general, of course. He wasn't at a stage of his life yet that he would want to put his inventing on hold to rear children, heck no...But he had to admit they were cute and he really did enjoy babysitting every so often. He knew Doris had liked kids as they used to babysit together sometimes...But Francis wasn't Doris. They were siblings and similar in a number of ways, but Francis was certainly his own dolphin...Kowalski had never met another like him.

—Which was probably a good thing. The world probably wouldn't survive two Dr. Blowholes. Some days it was hard enough making sure it survived the one.

"So… You're quiet tonight."

Kowalski looked over at him. "Sorry, just was thinking."

Blowhole glanced over at him. "Good thinking, or overthinking?"

"Combination thereof."

"You want to talk about it?"

Kowalski shook his head and looked out the window. "No, it really wasn't important." He looked at him again. "Are we almost there?"

"Yeah. Like ten or fifteen more minutes...Depending on if these humans get out of our way," he grumbled, drumming his flipper tip on the steering wheel. "Crabcakes. Can they drive any slower?"

"Maybe they're lost."

"Then they can get lost somewhere else."

Kowalski shrugged, watching as the car in front of them turned off onto another road. "I guess they heard you."

"Good." He turned onto another road. "So...The road starts here. You think we should park and continue on foot?"

"Didn't the sites online say _not _to leave our car?"

"Parking and walking it is then." He smirked, pulling over to the side of the road.

Kowalski sighed, but got out of the car. Down either side of Clinton Road were trees. Lots and lots of dark trees under a dark sky. He already knew he was not going to like this, but he jumped up and opened the back door and pulled out his duffel bag. He dug around in the bag, pulling out his night vision goggles and listening device. He put these on before taking out his ghost hunting equipment belt and slipped it on, too.

"Okay, what the flounder do you have there?"

Kowalski held up one of the devices. "EMF scanner. It detects electromagnetic frequency irregularities." He clipped it back to the belt, picking up another device. "I call this one the Ghost-Talkie. It uses radio frequencies to allow spirits to talk with us more easily." He clipped it again and then took out a little squirt gun. "This is a holy water gun...In case we come across something darker than a ghost…"

Blowhole looked at him and then burst into laughter. "A hol-holy water gun? Oh Kowalski, you've out dumbed yourself. The worst thing we may come across out here are cultists and I do not see your little water gun defending you from them."

"Well...Demons tend to like to hang out with ghosts. I just like to have my bases covered." He crossed his flippers.

"You learn that from your class?"

"...Maybe."

Blowhole just shook his head, grinning. "We're just going to be walking along a road, talking to air, but alright. Bring your holy water gun if it makes you feel safe from the air."

"Better safe and feeling a little silly later, than demon possessed if we're wrong." He stuck his beak slightly in the air as he shut the car door.

"Riiiiiiight," he snickered. He then pushed a button on his Segway and a compartment opened. He took a video camera out. "Well, this is my gear for in case we _do_ see _something_ interesting." He turned it on and pointed it at Kowalski. "Like this supposedly _ambivalent _ghost hunting dork who is armed with holy water."

"_Haha_." He rolled his eyes. "Maybe if we come across a demon I'll just let them possess you."

"Sure. Let'em try it. That'd make my night."

Kowalski looked at him before shaking his head. "You're insane." He then stepped behind him. "So...You'll be fine taking point?"

"Or you can just waddle beside me so the _ghosts_ don't take you for an easy target."

"...Oh."

Blowhole started rolling away. "Come on, Mittens."

Kowalski rolled his eyes again and slid over to catch up. There was no way he was going to let himself get too far separate from Francis. First off, that good old penguin motto of never swim alone. He was sure that carried over to when ghost hunting with an evil genius dolphin as well. Second of all, Francis did have a laser and who knew what other gadgets that could come of use if they _did_ run into something dangerous...Flippers and water guns could only protect him so much.

The two strolled down the road until they come to a bend in the road. Shortly after the bend was a bridge.

"There it is, the coin boy's bridge."

"And the ghost cars' bridge."

Blowhole smirked and rolled up onto the bridge. "Not a bad bridge here. Certainly would be a shame if we were run over, you know? Two exotic animals in the middle of a bridge. A couple of roadkill bonus points."

"WhAt—" He looked at him with widened eyes as he followed him. "—Are you _trying_ to get us killed?!"

"Oh chill out. It's not like anything is actually going to happen. Ghosts aren't real."

"And you know this _how_?"

Blowhole looked at him. "The same way I know magic isn't real, wishes don't come true, and there are no aliens."

"_Well actually—_"

"No. Don't you tell me you believe in magic. Don't. Just don't."

Kowalski rolled his eyes. "No, magic isn't real. But aliens. There are space squids on Mars at the very least."

Blowhole squinted at him. "How many times have you hit your head?"

He scoffed indignantly and turned away. "Although the first time I was on pain medication and slightly cracked from solitary confinement, I've had witnesses besides myself both times. I'm not crazy."

"So there was a gas leak at the zoo."

Kowalski opened his beak to argue, but then paused. Maybe that was a possibility after all… But it certainly had felt real… But it would explain the after feelings they had all had. "I'm not saying that I agree with you, but I will admit… That explanation does bear some merit."

"Kowalski, trust me. That had to be what happened. I believe you believed you saw an alien, but it had to have been a hallucination."

"Huh…" He rubbed under his beak. "Well, alright then."

"Now that we're on the same page, I'm going to try to stir up these supposed ghosts."

"My class said—"

"You do whatever they suggested, I didn't take that class, so I'm going to have fun with it."

Kowalski sighed and shook his head, stepping away. "Alright fine. You do that, I'm going to be over here, not tempting fate." He leaned back against the railing.

"Scaredy cat," he muttered before rolling further down the bridge. "Any spooky boys here tonight? Ghost boy? Make your presence known if you're here." He waited a moment in silence. "HEY GHOST BRAT!"

Kowalski looked at him with a slightly open beak.

Blowhole then took out a coin and flicked it onto the bridge. "Oh no, there went my coin. Sure would be _terrible_ if Kowalski was run over when picking it up for me." He smirked at him.

"Don't you—don't you drag me into this."

"Oh come on, it's simple ghost boy entrapment. But seriously, try getting the coin."

"NO! I might get pushed!"

"There's not even a tiny breeze, Kowalski. The only push you might get would be from me if a real car comes. Now get your tail over here and stop being such a chicken."

Kowalski glared at him, but waddled over and picked up the coin.

"See? You're fine."

"For now," he grumbled, but hopped up onto the railing. "I guess… I'll try dropping it over the side and see if he'll throw it back or show himself?"

Blowhole rolled over and looked over the side. "Yeah… Drop it in 3...2…"

Kowalski dropped the coin and they watched it fall into the water below. They watched the water ripple outwards from its sinking point, but that was all.

"Well… That was anticlimactic."

Blowhole leaned away from the railing. He looked down at the road bend. "Maybe we should move on to the car ghosts, since coin boy isn't home."

"Yeah, we can do that." He hopped down from the rail and followed him off the bridge and over to Dead Man's Curve.

"Hey truck ghost, so this is your road?" Blowhole shouted into the night. The only response he received was from the crickets in the grass. He looked down at Kowalski. "I'm going to try ticking it off. "

"Great…"

Blowhole rolled into the middle of the road and twirled. "Ghost truck! Look at me, I'm dancing on your road. I disrespect you and your road!" He rolled further down the curve. "Come out, come out and show yourself if you want me off your road! You'll have to run me over to get me to leave!"

Kowalski watched him, shaking his head. "He's insane," he mumbled.

"Either you run me off your road, or I'm going to claim this road as my own, ghost trucker. They'll graffiti my name and tell tales of me here! People will come here to learn about math and science and how you aren't real!" He twirled around again.

A cold chill went down Kowalski's spine. "Maybe ghost truck is busy running someone else off the road… Or doesn't speak dolphin."

"Let's go see if we can find some cultists." He rolled over to him before shouting over his shoulder, "We'll be back, ghost truck! This road is mine now!"


	18. A Walk in the Woods

_ **Chapter 18: A Walk in the Woods** _

It was even darker within the woods than it was on the road between them, thanks to the leaves blocking the moonlight. Kowalski was thankful that he had remembered to bring his night-vision goggles. He could barely see with them as it was. Unlike certain dolphins, he couldn't click his way through the woods to judge tree from empty space. If only echolocation was teachable, with his night-blindness that would be a helpful skill to know.

He took out his EMF detector as they approached the small castle ruins. He looked up at Blowhole. "Do you happen to have a flashlight?"

"Just the one on my phone…" He stopped and took it out. "You need it?"

"Yeah, if you could shine it here for a moment. I want to check my notes that we're not lost." He took out his clipboard and flipped through a few pages.

Blowhole held his phone over Kowalski's clipboard, watching him. "I think we should be on the right track."

"Yeah…" He took out a compass, checking it. "We are...I think." He looked at the trees around them. He then looked back at his notes. "Just as a heads up for once we get close, supposedly the curses surrounding the ruins have caused seizures, mood swings, and mysterious bruises and scratches."

"Mysterious bruises and scratches after traipsing through the woods to an abandoned castle? And they blame it on curses? I'm just saying...I don't follow their logic."

Kowalski shrugged and put his notes away. "I'm just sharing what I read. I'm with you when it comes to doubt on these so-called curses, but seemed worth noting just in case."

Blowhole nodded and returned to following their trail. "Anything on your scanner yet?"

"Nope."

"Keep me posted if you do."

They followed the woodland trail for a few more yards before Kowalski's scanner began to beep. Blowhole took out his phone again and shone it upon the ruins that lay directly before them. The two shared a glance.

"Okay, I'll admit...It's a cool coincidence."

Kowalski chuckled and lifted the scanner as he scanned around them. "Well, there's _something_ here causing an EMF disturbance."

"Electromagnetic fields do vary naturally."

"But to this degree? I haven't seen this detector go off like this since I tested it in the Hall of Cursed Artifacts at the museum."

Blowhole looked at the scanner and shrugged. "I'm sure there's a more logical reason than curses for both of these occurrences, Kowalski."

"This is why I am stuck on the fence. Since that class, I've witnessed too many things that haven't been able to logic out and...and it's freaking me out." He sighed, shaking his head. "There was a...thing...a spirit-thing Private released by breaking an urn that possessed a Lunacorn, Francis. How can that be logically explained?"

"Hey, hey, Kowalski. Chill out. I assure you, there's some logical explanation. I may not know what it is yet, but there is one, okay? So just, calm down."

Kowalski took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay...Okay…" He looked at the EMF detector again. "We're at about a 6 now, we had been at like a 1."

"Neat." The dolphin was already rolling away into the castle ruins.

Kowalski quickly slid after him to catch up. The ruins really weren't much to look at. Since the old castle had been razed to the ground, it was merely foundational outlines and the odd stone segment here and there, grown over with grass and coated with damp leaves. He took out his own phone and turned on the flashlight and shined it around. On various stones, symbols had been painted in black.

"Definitely been some cultists here recently."

"What?" He waddled over to Blowhole and shined his light where he was looking. "Oh."

In the center of a large, round symbol was a smear of dried blood and fur. Once again, Kowalski felt a chill down his spine and moved closer to Blowhole. "Are we sure we want to find those cultists?"

"Well, if we do cross paths, they won't enjoy the results." He frowned, looking at the fur and shaking his head. "To think humans call _us _beasts when they do things like this."

"Yeah…"

Blowhole tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, what if we split up for a bit and looked for those forest ghosts and albinos? We could use this spot as base to meet up."

"Split up?" That wasn't what he wanted to hear. But he had a point, they would cover more ground that way. "Su-ure...Yeah, that's fine."

"Great." He took out another video camera and passed it to Kowalski. "I'm going to continue east. How about you go west? If you come across any cultists or anything, just scream really loud."

Kowalski rolled his eyes. Francis was just messing with him. There probably weren't any cultists out tonight...Hopefully. And _surely _the albinos were nothing but some sort of misidentification and nothing to fear.

"You too," he said before turning with his flashlight and waddling into the woods, leaving him behind at the castle.

Countless times Kowalski has wandered the streets of New York at night alone when trying to find invention parts, during chemical runs, or experiment tests, but being alone in the woods at night felt completely different. He never felt vulnerable in the city, but in the potentially haunted woods, that was a different story. His feathers bristled and at every unexpected sound and his stomach jumped into his throat.

He had spent all that time thinking of ghosts and such, he hadn't stopped to consider the fact that ex-zoo animals and hybrid ferrals could roam the woods as well. There could easily be large predators around who would find a penguin to be a delightful late night snack. He didn't want to be a snack...Well, at least not _that _kind of snack.

Something flies right over his head and Kowalski hit the ground, covering his beak with his flippers. At least his coloration was useful to camouflage him against the long shadows. He stayed in position until he heard the now distance hoot of an owl and stood up.

"Just an owl, Kowalski…" He sighed and smoothed down his feathers. Owls weren't anything to fear. After all, he had dated one a few years ago. Eva wasn't scary...Aloof and a little cold, yes, but not scary.

Kowalski continued through the woods until he reached a little clearing and his EMF detector beeped. He clipped it back to his belt and took out the Ghost-Talkie. He already regretted his decision to invent this.

"Ahem...Hello?" he said into the darkness around him. "If there's any spirits out here, I'm going to turn on this device. It's going to provide a source of radio frequencies that may make it easier to talk with me...If you would talk to it and me, that would be…" He gulped. "_Great_."

Kowalski flipped on the device, jumping a little at its loudness. He quickly regains his composure. "Once again, hi. My name is Jan. What's yours?"

He stood there, listening to radio jittering and silence.

"Could...Could you say my name back to me if you'd like to communicate?"

For a few minutes there was silence. However, when he went to ask his next question, the device finally admitted a response. "_Jan_."

Kowalski froze and he held his breath. "Y-yes, that's m-me. Who-who's talking?"

There was no response and he took a deep, shaky breath. He turned off the device and backed away from the clearing. That was enough alone interaction for him tonight. He would hold off using the spirit box anymore until he was with Francis again.

Kowalski waddled back towards the ruins and took out the EMF detector once again. He was only a few feet from the clearing when something white flew out from the trees beside him and directly at him. "FRANCIS! _FRAAAANCIIIISSS_!" he screamed and slid for the ruins.


	19. Our Road

_ **Chapter 19: Our Road** _

Really, the woods weren't too different from marine kelp forests. Sure, it was drier and darker than kelp forests, but it wasn't anything too unfamiliar. It had been years since he last had swam through a forest. He and Doris used to go on routine explorations just for kicks. Kelp hide and seek was always fun, especially if you snuck up behind the seeker and surprised them. Blowhole chuckled and shook his head. Those were good times…

Then he frowned. He hadn't spoken to his sister since that day she found out about him being Dr. Blowhole. He understood why she was upset with him. He had, after all, lied to them for years and kept an entire second life secret from her and their mother...But he had kept it secret for their protection, in the hope that his villain life would never leak over to affect them.

Blowhole wiped a spiderweb off his face. However, now was not the time to think about Doris. He needed to focus on the here and now. He was in a forest. He needed to keep a listen out for Kowalski because something was bound to freak him out. Most importantly, he wanted to find out the truth behind these ghost rumors. His bet was still on ex-zoo animals trying to scare humans away. Abandoned zoo animals no doubt would harbor hatred for humans. He could probably gain a new agent or two from their ranks if he could find and talk with them.

"Hello? Anyone out here?" he shouted. "Ghost, monster, or animal alike, I just want to talk."

After getting no response, Blowhole moved deeper into the woods. Admittedly, Kowalski would have been useful right about then. He was closer to the ground and could possibly see if there were any tracks way more easily than he could. But he leaned down anyway to try to look.

"_Francis_..."

Blowhole looked around himself. "Yeah?" He turned around. "Hello?"

"_Francis…_"

"Kowalski, is that you?" He rolled off the path and into the thicker section of the woods. The voice he was hearing didn't sound exactly like Kowalski's. It was certainly a male's voice, but it wasn't as deep as his was usually, or as high pitch as his could be when he was riled, but perhaps the forest was just distorting his voice?

Blowhole carefully rolled through a thicket. "Hello?"

"_Francis…_"

"Look. Whoever you are, give me a little more to go on for your position. Just calling my name into the night tells me nothing." He frowned, squinting into the dark. He then caught movement out of the corner of his eye and moved that way silently.

There was something white pushing its way through the woods further ahead. The height was taller than the average wild animal, closer to that of a human. He bared his teeth and raised a flipper to his laser eye. If the figure just moved a little more to the left-

"FRANCIS! _FRAAAAAANCIIIIIS_!"

Blowhole paused and looked back at the trail. Now _that_ was unmistakably Kowalski's voice. He looked back at the figure, but now it was gone. He sighed, shook his head, and picked his way back towards the ruins.

"_FRAAAANCIIIIIIS_!"

He rolled up behind the quivering peng-u-in. "You screamed?"

"_ALAJHFDLWJHEFLWHJEFLWHJRLADFHI_!" Kowalski spun around and sprayed him in the face with his water gun.

Blowhole wiped his flipper down his face. "Refreshing."

Kowalski looked at him with the widest eyes before clinging to his side. "ThErE wAs A thIng!" He then jumped up onto his head, quivering.

"Hey, watch your talons!" he hissed through gritted teeth.

"Sorry…"

"Now what the hell are you going on about?"

"I tried out the-the Ghost-T-Talkie, and a g-ghost said my n-name," he said in between panicked pants. "And the-then when leaving the-the clearing there was this THING!" He motioned wildly from above. "W-white wispy thing and, and it started cha-chasing me!"

Blowhole reached up and pulled him from his head. He held him out in front of himself and looked at him very seriously. "Can you take a deep breath and calm down, or do I need to shake some sense into you?"

Kowalski shook his head and cleared his throat. "No...No, I can. I can calm down." He looked nervously over his shoulder as a slight breeze rustled the leaves above them.

"Good." He sat him down in the segway basket. "Now point me in the direction of this supposed ghost."

"_WHAT_?"

Blowhole rolled his eye. "You heard me. Point me in the direction back to it. I want to see your supposed ghost, because I bet you didn't get it on camera."

Kowalski's eyes grew wide again and he looked at his belt and flippers. The video camera he had given him earlier was no longer in his possession. "Umm…"

"And that would be another reason to go back. We're not leaving my video camera out in the woods for some human to pick up."

"It was back that way…" The peng-u-in pointed back to the East. "I was a few feet away from a clearing at the end of the trail."

Blowhole nodded and rolled that way. Kowalski hunkered down in the basket, making himself as small as possible and just barely peeked over the edge so that he could give further directions. As they approached the clearing, Blowhole spotted something white wriggling in the bushes. He rolled closer.

"Hey, I found your ghost."

Kowalski peeked up from the basket, trembling as Blowhole reached over and pulled a plastic bag out from the bush and shook it out.

"Real spooky beast here. Absolutely blood curdling." He smirked at him. "Not often you are threatened by ferocious plastic bags."

"Well in my defense it is dark! It looked like a ghost flying towards me!"

"There, there, Mittens." He stroked his head. "You're safe now."

Kowalski glared at him and the bag, crossing his flippers. "As if you've never been frightened by mistake before."

"Can't say that I have. I'm not easily frightened." He looked at him. "You good to go back to the road, or have you reached your spook limit?"

"I can handle returning to the road..." he sighed, before quickly adding, "But no more splitting up."

Blowhole reached down and picked up the dropped video camera. "Cool. Then we'll see if we can get some ghosts on film. After that we can go back to the lair."

Kowalski nodded and sat back in the basket again. The little peng-u-in had obviously tired himself out when fleeing the plastic bag. Blowhole just shook his head as he rolled back towards the road. Of all the things he expected Kowalski to be fleeing, plastic bags were not on the list. Bears, bats, flying squirrels, maybe even a stray dog, sure. But fleeing a bag was about level with being afraid of his own shadow. He knew Kowalski was a scaredy cat, but he had expected a little better than this pathetic occurrence. Ambivalent about ghosts, yeah right.

When they get to the road, Blowhole kept rolling back towards the car.

"I thought we weren't leaving yet?"

"We aren't. You said that trucker ghost doesn't like cars on his road, right?"

"Right-"

"So that's what we're doing. We're going to drive on his road."

"And then what?"

Blowhole grinned down at him. "Well, if he doesn't show himself to run us off his road, we can say the ghost obviously isn't here and we can lay claim to the road instead."

"...Because the air wouldn't care?"

"Exactly." Blowhole nodded as he unlocked the car and opened the door.

Kowalski hopped out of the basket and crawled across to the passenger seat. He helped Blowhole then put the segway in the backseat as he got in.

"So how are we going to draw its attention to us?" Kowalski looked at him expectantly.

"I thought you were mister options?" He looked back at him. The expression on the peng-u-in's face was priceless. "So Kowalski, what are my options?"

The peng-u-in took out his clipboard and flipped through a few pages. He scribbled and glanced back at him. "We could drive down the road with the windows down, shouting at it and playing loud music. However, that may attract more attention than just spectral."

"Eh, I'm sure drunk humans do this sort of thing all the time. Sounds good to me." He shrugged and got the car back onto the road from the grass. He rolled down his window. "HEY GHOST TRUCKER. WE'RE BACK!"

Kowalski meanwhile played with the radio.

"HEY GHOST WIMP. YOU GOING TO LET US JUST CRUISE YOUR ROAD OR YOU GOING TO STOP US?"

Kowalski rolled down his window then. "SH-SHOW YOURSELF OR THIS IS FRANCIS'S ROAD!"

"YEAH! IF YOU DON'T STOP US BY THE TIME WE REACH THE END, IT'S MY ROAD!"

"IT'LL BE OUR ROAD! THEY WON'T CALL IT CLINTON ROAD ANYMORE. IT-IT'LL BE BLOWHOLE AND KOWALSKI'S ROAD!"

"YOU HEAR THAT, GHOST TRUCKER? YOU HAUNT OUR ROAD NOW! THIS IS BLOWHOLE AND KOWALSKI'S ROAD!"

They reached the end of the road without seeing a single black pick up truck or blue camaro. The two looked at each other and then back at the road behind them. "Guess we own a road now."

Kowalski turned down the radio and smiled slightly. "Okay, so maybe you were right about the whole ghosts not being real thing…"

"Of course I was." He looked at the road ahead of them as he started driving back towards the lair. "Make a note for us to come back one day so we can sign our new road."

"Oh my cod, you were serious."

Blowhole smirked. "How's it feel to own supposedly one of the most haunted roads of America?"

"Oh my cod."

"I don't know about you, but I didn't see a single ghost while we were there. Most haunted road in New Jersey, my tail fluke."

Kowalski looked down at his Ghost-Talkie. "Well...Something said my name on my device…"

"Did it say Jan or Kowalski?"

"Jan."

"Eh, one syllable word from radio white noise? That could have just been static that just sounded similar to Jan that it misled your already spooked senses."

"Maybe…"

"But perhaps we could try something like this again some other night. Maybe check out that haunted sewer or that winery?"

"To get more proof for or against ghost existence?"

"Yeah."

Kowalski nodded and settled back into the seat. "Maybe we could…"


	20. Movie Night Distraction

_ **Chapter 20: Movie Night Distraction ** _

Once Blowhole had parked the car, Kowalski helped him with his segway before hopping out and dragging his duffle bag out behind him. As fun as it was investigating that old road, he was thankful to be back in fairly normal and probably not haunted territory.

"Kowalski."

"Hmm?" He looked up at him as the dolphin opened the door.

"I need to check on how the lobsters are cleaning up from earlier. I'll have Red One show you to the theater room."

"Why am I not surprised that you have a theater room?"

"Oh yeah. You'll love it. Surround sound, bass boosted, large screen..." He chuckled, still rolling away. "Just stay there, the lobster will find you." He then vanished around the corner.

Kowalski shook his head and sighed. It still did not seem fair that the villains got the good stuff. They're evil, leave chaos in their wake, and can do pretty much whatever they want whenever they want...Whereas the good guys have to walk on eggshells around humans, scrounge around in the junkyard for materials, nearly get themselves killed trying to keep order and everyone safe, but never get any recognition for their work. Heck, even among other good guys you aren't appreciated. Maybe villains were onto something after all.

He leaned back against a wall as he waited for Red One. Skipper would have a cow if he decided to switch alliances. He'd disown him as a brother in a heartbeat…But he wasn't dark enough to be evil anyway. He didn't...well, no that would be a lie. World domination _did_ sound interesting, but he didn't feel compelled to try for it. He also, unless provoked, wasn't a fan of inflicting pain or misery upon anyone. And yet...he still didn't feel like he truly fit the mold of a good guy either. He knew he was selfish and he has been known to on occasion _borrow _things from humans indefinitely without paying and without asking. Rarely did he feel guilty about that.

His moral grayness was one reason why Skipper was so strict with him, he knew this. In Skipper's mind, neutral didn't exist. There was only his side, the good side, and the enemies' side. Kowalski wished he would consider a middle ground option. Sure, Private, Rico, and him didn't have much trouble being good guys all the time…but Kowalski found it exhausting, bland, and stifling some days. He should be allowed to mix it up from time to time and be a little bad, have a little fun.

Like these experiments with Francis.

Kowalski licked his beak as he mulled this over. Did he truly like him like him, or was this all just because he was a dolphin and he provided a semi-safe way for him to be a little rebellious? How could he know for certain one way or the other? What if it was just a phase?

But then again, life is all about going through different stages and phases. If he was enjoying his company and spending time with him, did it even matter if it was just a phase?

"Ahem."

Kowalski blinked and looked over at Red One. "Oh hi." He stood up from the wall.

"This way," the lobster said as he started skittering away. After a few minutes he paused and looked at him. "So uh… You and the boss are getting along well?"

"I think so?" He raised a brow at him.

"You think after this you two will, uh, keep seeing each other?"

"I…well...I suppose that's up to Fra—Er, Blowhole." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'm certainly open to the possibility…"

"So you really like him? You're not like, just seeing him for information?"

"What?" He squinted at him. "Of course I'm not using him for intel. To fake interest in someone for information, that's just cruel… No. No, I really like him."

"Gotcha." The lobster shrugged as he opened the door. "Just thought I'd check."

Kowalski just looked at him strangely as he waddled into the room.

"One last question."

"Yes?" he sighed.

"How are you balancing him and being a good guy?"

"Work is work, free time is free time. One shouldn't affect the other."

"Even if it might put the Doc in risk?"

Kowalski for a moment couldn't answer. Briefly, the time he nearly suffocated Francis during one of their past missions whisked through his memory. He blinked and looked at the lobster. "If our mission seems like it may risk his life or permanent injury, then I will disobey orders. I can get other jobs, but he is not so easily replaceable."

"Gotcha. Well, the Doc will be with you soon. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you." He turned away and looked around the theater room. If there was any room Francis could have designed with the specific intention to make him jealous, this was it. He could easily imagine watching Sci-fi movie marathons in here. The large screen, the surround sound system, the fancy lighting...

He sat his bag down with a sigh and placed his belt and ghost hunting equipment back inside it. He then slid it to the edge of the room and looked at the seating. One may have expected perhaps chairs or couches, however they would be wrong. In front of the screen was a large plush mat and pillows, which would be far more comfortable for watching movies than awkward chairs.

Blowhole rolled into the room with popcorn. "Feel free to sit wherever." He grabbed a remote off a shelf and slipped down onto the mat.

Kowalski waddled over and sat down beside him. "So what are we watching?"

The dolphin clicked the remote. "It's a surprise."

Of course it was. Cat ears and haunted plastic bags apparently were not surprising enough for the night. Kowalski stretched out his legs and looked up at the screen as the lights dimmed and the film began.

"Popcorn?" Blowhole tilted the bowl towards him.

Kowalski nodded, getting out a flipper full. So far the movie was rather slow. The typical family now had moved into a new house with their cat. This cat resembled Max in pattern, but he lacked the heterochromia of the lunar feline.

Now the family was meeting the creepy neighbors who issue the typical warnings. Why do humans never heed the warnings? Do they think people just give warnings to make their neighborhood sound more intriguing? It's like they're asking to be murdered. And the creepy children in the woods wasn't further warning to them?

Kowalski glanced over at Blowhole and then down at his flipper. Marlene had said that he should kiss him...But perhaps just holding his flipper would be enough? It wasn't like he had ever gotten this far in a relationship before. Sure, he had been kissed by girls before, but those were almost all in the moment situations...Not during dates. Timing was never his forte either, but flipper holding was pretty low stakes and didn't require as much timing skill. Surely he could manage that.

He inconspicuously moved a little closer to Blowhole so that their flippers were nearly touching. To his surprise and delight, Blowhole's flipper inched over on top of his. He looked up again and made eye contact with him. Kowalski quickly looked back at the movie, his feathers ruffled slightly from that, but then ruffled further as Blowhole's flipper gently rubbed his. It made him feel tingly, all the way up his flipper, down his back, and up his neck.

Kowalski then tentatively leaned against him. After a few minutes, Blowhole's flipper responded by moving from holding his flipper to being around him. Ignoring the warm blush that crept up his neck and into his face, he paid closer attention to the film. Although this was only a cuddle, he felt like he had made good enough progress with this dating venture.

"DOC!"

Kowalski jumped and Blowhole paused the movie.

"At ease, Mittens, it's just Red Nine," he murmured to him before looking over at the door. "Yes?"

"There's a bit of a situation out here, uh, you might want to see."

"What do you mean?"

"Uh well, Chrome Claw is loose."

Blowhole groaned and looked at Kowalski. "I'll be back in a few." He turned the lights back on, hopped on to his Segway, and followed the lobster out.

Kowalski sighed and laid back on the floor. He had thought dolphins were supposed to be lucky, but perhaps his own bad luck was just too stubborn to be overshadowed by someone else's good luck. He looked over at his bag and sat up. Now resting against his bag was a file. He got up and waddled over to it. On the file is a sticky note that said "Ace." Unless one of the lobsters was nicknamed that, he knew this was addressed to him. There was only one individual who had ever called him that. But why Parker would sneak him a file?

He opened it. "Project Firefly? What the quarks is this?" He muttered as he started flipping through the file, skimming the contents. As he got deeper into the file, he leaned against the wall for support. That warm fuzzy feeling from their cuddling completely left him. He slowly slipped down the wall and sat in the floor, shaking his head, slowly at first and then more fervently.

Suddenly Red One's strange question earlier now longer seemed so strange. Had Francis really just used these experiments and him as a way to secure intel on him and his brothers? It was all a ruse?

Kowalski swallowed back tears and continued to flip through the file. There were even notes about the missions and schedules that he kept on his phone. No wonder he was so insistent about a nap on their last date. He hadn't actually cared about him, he just wanted to look through his phone.


	21. Truth and Lies

**A.N. - Shout out to my friend Bean for a number of ideas pertaining this angst scene ^^**

* * *

_ **Chapter 21: Truth and Lies** _

Blowhole rolled into the room. "Alright, Chrome Claw's back in his room. We can get back to—" He paused once he saw Kowalski. "Where did you get that?"

Kowalski crumpled the sticky note in his flipper and closed the file. "You were just using me?" He looked at the dolphin, eyes watering. "I trusted you. I developed feelings for you. I disobeyed Skipper for you. And it was all so that you could use me for information?"

"Kowalski, wait. Let me explain—"

"Explain? What's there to explain?" He stood up. "Was any of it even real? It was all a lie, wasn't it? I'm such an idiot!" He turned away. His chest felt tight. He shook his head, blinking back hot tears as he picked up his duffel bag. "Experiment concluded. I'm leaving."

"No, Kowalski, wait!"

Suddenly, it was very dark around the penguin. He pushed at the darkness and found slick plastic walls. He pushed and kicked at them. "LET ME OUT, YOU JERK. LET ME GO."

"Wow, rude."

"YOU USED ME, I'M ALLOWED TO BE RUDE."

"No. You're staying there until you're less emotional and I can talk with logical Kowalski."

"LET ME OUT, BOTTLENOSE. I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU."

"I just need you to listen."

"NO. HAVEN'T YOU LIED TO ME ENOUGH AT THIS POINT? LET ME OUT!" He shoved himself against the wall but to no avail. Blowhole must be holding it in place. He growled to himself and pushed harder until he finally gave up on escape and sat down in the dark, sniffling. "Please...Just let me go..."

"Will you sit there and let me explain? If so, I'll let you out."

"Whatever..."

The trash can slowly lifted and Kowalski glared at the dolphin, sniffing.

"Now, as I was trying to tell you. It was not all a ruse, but yes, it started out as one. I thought your invention was probably a failure and I couldn't imagine being with someone like you."

"This is the worst explanation I've ever heard."

"Remember, I'm a villain. Why should I have believed in your invention when I knew your track record for failure? It was strategic to use this opportunity to get more intimate intel on you peng-u-ins."

"I may be an idiot, but I'm smart enough to have figured that out. I knew you weren't serious during our first trial, I just didn't want to believe my gut instinct. I was such a fool." He turned away. "Can I leave now?"

"No, I'm not finished." He moved so that Kowalski was facing him once more. "Before that night, we had never hung out or anything. I figured you were just some bland, tasteless, scaredy geek. You definitely did not seem like my usual type."

"And the hits just keep on coming."

"But that was before I actually got to know you. Through our dates and our chats, I came to realize that you weren't those things at all...Well, except for the scared part. You are so easily startled. But besides that, I have come to learn that you're actually fun to be around...And even kind of cool."

Kowalski looked at him.

"And then I started bonding with you and started to actually care about you. I wouldn't be able to use you now even if I wanted to because of dolphin loyalty." He sighed. "So yes, it started out as a ruse...But most of it was real. I do like you, Kowalski. Really."

For a moment, he is unable to respond. It was just so much to take in all at once. Finally he was able to find his voice. "You...You like me?"

"Yes, I like you."

"Like me...Or like me like me?"

Blowhole looked at him flatly. "What do you think, smart guy?"

Kowalski was stunned and just stared at him.

"You can go now if that's what you want to do. I'm going back to the movie." He turned away.

"Francis…" he then sighed, waddling over. "I'm sorry...I over reacted."

"Mmhmm." He laid down on the mat again.

"So...you really like me like me?" Kowalski asked, sitting down close beside him.

Blowhole glanced sideways at him as he pressed play. "If you ask me that again, I'm going to put you back in the trash can."

The penguin's tail wagged slightly and tentatively again he leaned close to him. Francis liked him back and for now, that was all that mattered to him. Sure the initial intentions weren't great, but it had been a strategic plan. He could respect that. He probably would have never known about the plan either if not for Parker.

Blowhole rolled his eye and put his flipper around him. "You are such a dork. But seriously, where did you get that file?"

"I don't know. Someone had laid it with my stuff." A half-lie, but he wasn't going to throw Parker under the bus...He was the only other besides Doris herself that knew about his stalking of her who might would expose this to Blowhole. He had to be strategic in anything concerning Parker.

"If I ever find out who leaked you the file, they will be facing consequences."

"They were probably just trying to break us up...I'm sure some of your minions disapprove of me, like Skipper would strongly disapprove if he knew." He shrugged. "They didn't succeed, so I guess it really doesn't matter."

"Oh but it does. I have to snip this type of double crossing behavior at the bud or it'll become contagious among the other minions and I'll have another revolt on my flippers. As it was, someone released Chrome Claw. He didn't just escape on his own."

"Oh."

"The two have to be linked. Chrome Claw must have been a distraction to keep me busy while you read the file. But I'll deal with this later."

Kowalski nodded and then jumped from the movie.

Blowhole pulled him a little closer. "It's getting to the good part now."

"That poor child…"

"Nah look, she's fine."

"I'd hardly call becoming a murderous zombie child fine, Francis."

"Eh, close enough."

Kowalski rolled his eyes with a smile. "You are horrible."

"They should have taken better care of the cat. It's karma."

"They should have listened to the warnings and left when they could. "

"That too, but that's what happens when you're stupid in a horror movie. You die."

"I guess that's why there's never any intelligent humans in these. It'd make for a boring movie."

"Well, first they'd have to find a smart human."

"Touché." He chuckled.

Blowhole smirked at him and Kowalski felt the warmth of a blush and the tingly feeling from earlier return. He looked away to the movie just to jump as the girl reappeared on screen.

"Why do they always appear where you least expect them!?"

The dolphin laughed. "To make kittens like you jump."

Kowalski glanced sideways at him. "I'm glad my frights are amusing you."

Blowhole glanced back at him with a smirk. "Oh they are. You're fun to tease." He placed his flipper under Kowalski's chin.

"Oh really?" He raised a brow. "Is that what you're doing now?"

"You know it, Buckaroo." He wink-blinked at him.

Kowalski's feathers rustled. He was so close. Perhaps he could just—

He quickly leaned forward and delivered a peck on his rostrum before turning away. His face was burning under his feathers. There. He had kissed him.

"What was that? Revenge for that quick kiss I gave you before?" Blowhole laughed. "Come back here, I'll show you a real kiss if that's what you're wanting." Once again his flipper was under Kowalski's chin, turning his face towards him. Then he kissed him.

Kissing Francis was different from kissing Doris. There was no awkward beak-rostrum bumping. It was like Francis had experience kissing beaks before. It also was just _different_. It wasn't something he could put into words, but it was a good different. A totally would smooch him again, different. A _definitely will _smooch him again, different. For a few minutes, the movie was completely forgotten. It was just the two of them and this moment.

They broke the kiss. In the dim lighting, Kowalski noticed something he hadn't before. For years he had thought Francis had a black or dark brown eye, but he was wrong. It was a dark hazel or amber. He then kissed him again. He didn't want this moment to end.

But then the moment was completely shattered when the movie music shifted and Kowalski was jolted back to reality. Without a word, Blowhole pulled the popcorn closer to them. Kowalski smiled awkwardly and snuggled close. The film was approaching the end anyway, so they might as well finish watching it.

When the credits began to roll up the screen, Kowalski checked the time. "I'm going to need an excuse for Skipper bigtime. Being awol for the party and then for the entire night afterward...Marlene's cover story for me will only stretch so far."

Blowhole tapped his flipper tips together thoughtfully. "How about a staged kidnapping?"

"A what?"

"Perhaps not by me, but I know enough villains. I'm sure one could be convinced to fake kidnap you for the others to rescue. Skipper can't be mad at you for sneaking out if instead you were kidnapped."

"He'd wonder why I didn't tell him I was kidnapped."

"Because Skipper has a phone for you to call?"

Kowalski blinked and looked astonished. "No...He doesn't."

"Or better yet. We can make up a story about how you were kidnapped and escaped on your own. We can rough you up so it looks authentic. Then you seem a little more capable of taking care of yourself."

"Are you sure you're not the options guy?"

"No, I'm just smarter than you." Blowhole chuckled and booped Kowalski's beak.


	22. Confrontation

_ **Chapter 22: Confrontation** _

Kowalski parked the coup inside the garage and got out with a groan. What he felt was regret. Fake your kidnapping, he said. It'll be easy, he said. He completely left out the part about it being painful. When Francis had mentioned "roughing him up" he did not expect that to entail a one on one surprise mini brawl with one of his on duty agents. He was going to feel this excuse for the next few days.

He followed a tunnel into the HQ and waddled into his lab and collapsed onto the pallet under his lab bench. The others were still asleep, but they wouldn't be for long. In the meantime, he was napping.

A half hour later, he woke to the sound of Skipper slamming the lab door shut behind himself. Kowalski pulled himself up and stretched. "Good morning, sir."

Skipper crossed his flippers, looking down at him. "Mmm, so where were you yesterday?"

"Well, I started out running errands for Marlene. Then I got was kidnapped—"

"Try again." He dropped the duffel bag in front of him.

Kowalski looked down at the duffel and sighed. "Alright fine, I went ghost hunting."

"Who with?"

"No one. I went alone."

Skipper squinted at him. "I guess that explains the cat costume. Camouflage?"

"Yep. That's exactly why I have that." He nodded, thinking quickly. "When I took that class, there was a section that discussed a theory that paranormal activity would be increased on Halloween night. I wanted to test this theory, but I didn't want to separate anyone else from the party, so I asked Marlene to cover for me."

"And you couldn't just tell me that? You had to come up with an elaborate lie?"

Kowalski rubbed his upper flipper and looked at the floor. "I just didn't think you'd understand or let me do it. I thought it would be better to just ask for forgiveness if you found out."

"But where did you get the bruising anyway?"

"I tripped and rolled down a hill."

Skipper nodded. "Now _that _sounds believable. But next time, just tell me what you're doing. Hoover Dam, I don't know what's going on in your head lately, Kowalski."

"To be fair, you never know what's going on in my head."

"Eh, I know enough." He waddled towards the door. "You're still not off the hook for yesterday. You'll be receiving a formal demerit for neglecting your duties, being awol, and lying to me. This afternoon you'll meet with me and we'll work on hide and sneak for in case you do any more of these solo ghost hunting escapadas with permission and maybe avoid falling down the hills."

"That's fair. Shall I prepare the tennis ball machine for then, sir?" He sighed, nodding.

"Nah, I'm feeling the hunting mood today. I'm getting the paintball gun."

Kowalski felt his stomach drop. For a moment, he couldn't help but contemplate if Francis was really worth all of this. A demerit was one thing, being lit up with paintballs was something else entirely when he already had enough bruising from his hairbrained excuse idea. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Noted."

At least hide and sneak would provide practice for sneaking around Skipper as well, so it was certainly a useful skill to polish up. And well, Francis was worth it. After all, it wasn't like he had many partner-wanna-bes knocking at the door nowadays…. Or ever. Heck, Francis wasn't even one of those, but he _did_ like him back now. The likelihood that he was going to find another individual who might like him back was just getting slimmer every passing year. Francis was technically out of his league anyway, so he'd be an idiot not to try to hold on to him for as long as possible, now that he had hooked him with his awkward charm.

"But for now, grab something to eat and meet us topside for training," Skipper said before waddling out.

Kowalski flopped back onto the bed with a groan and ran his flippers over his face. He then finally got up and followed the others outside.

* * *

Blowhole sat at his computer, tapping a pencil on the table as he scrolled through clips of security footage. Whoever had left the file and let Chrome Claw out had avoided all of the cameras, meaning that whoever couldn't have been one of his lobsters. It would have been one of his agents. He then sighed and shook his head. There was only one agent who knew about Project Firefly. "Parker, what am I going to do with you?"

"You could try listening to me for once."

The dolphin turned and stared at the platypus. "I told you I knew what I was doing and you went behind my back and leaked plans. What were you thinking?"

Parker crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "You were too close to the situation. He's a bad influence for you, I was trying to help you."

"By trying to break us up."

"Yeah. I already expressed my thoughts on that, but you've got to think. You haven't seriously schemed since you started talking with him. Some of the lobsters and other agents are getting restless."

Blowhole squinted at him. "It's getting colder weather. I always start putting schemes on hold this time of year. In a few weeks is that Thanksgiving party my mother throws, you know."

"Wow, you're just pulling for excuses now. Doris said you weren't invited to it this year, remember? Because she found out about your villainous side all thanks to _him_." Parker pointed at Blowhole for emphasis.

"Doris was upset, but Mother has still invited me. I plan on going to sort the situation out and smooth things over."

"That's going to go great."

Blowhole snorted, crossing his flippers. "Please. I know how to talk my way out of trouble. I'll get them to see things my way. I'm not worried."

"Still. You know it's his fault they know in the first place."

"Yes, I'm aware...But I am also aware she reached out to him for help getting me out of Seaville and he did help."

"You do realize it was the penguins who put you there, right?"

"Oh I'm sure they did. Skipper no doubt made that decision. However, I doubt they knew how Seaville treated their inhabitants. They knew it was a secure aquapark, and to them that meant hard to escape...Not abusive park keepers."

"I can't believe you're giving them the benefit of the doubt. That's not like you."

"I could tell Kowalski felt guilty about it. That's enough for me to know that he at least was unaware."

Parker shook his head. "So you're actually going to continue dating him? Not use the file contents against them like you initially planned?"

"I can't use them against him."

"Because you let yourself get too close."

"So what? Maybe I decided I liked getting close to him, Parker. Maybe it has been fun having a like-minded individual around here."

"But what about your plans, Francis? He's a waddling liability."

"He's not that bad. Sure, a little clumsy and impetuous, but that can be improved."

"I meant to your schemes. He's Skipper's second-in-command. You think he'll be able to keep secret your world domination schemes and not report back to him?"

"He won't be involved in my schemes. I have plenty of non-scheme related inventions to work on when he's over, and he's not over enough to impact planning. It's fine."

Parker moved closer to him. "And how long do you think he'll put up with this tug-of-war you're putting him through?"

"What?"

"You and Skipper. Either the two of you will tear him apart or he'll have to make a choice."

Blowhole is silent for a moment before shaking his head. "Skipper doesn't know."

"But he will eventually."

"We'll cross that bridge when it gets here." He looked up at his computer. "Strange."

"What?"

"He's usually messaged by now."

Parker rolled his eyes. "I still can't believe that you're dating him. There are so many better choices out there."

"Parker, we're dating, not getting married. Crabcakes."

"Still."

"Well, it's not like Skipper's interested."

Parker scrunched up his face, shaking his head. "You have a problem." He started waddling towards the door. "You shouldn't want to date your enemies except to break their hearts and use them for information."

"Oh Parker, Parker, Parker. It'd be much better if I could convince them to join us instead. What better weapon is there for that than romance?" He blinked at him.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." The monotreme waved him off as he left.


	23. A Blueberry Vodka Night

_ **Chapter 23: A Blueberry Vodka Night** _

"BRAHE'S BOXERS!" Kowalski shrieked as he ducked a sudden oncoming of paintball onslaught. He rolled underneath a shrub and used this moment to catch his breath.

Expect the unexpected. The one slogan he didn't take into consideration when Skipper mentioned this special training session. He had not expected it to be three against one, where he was the one hiding and sneaking and his brothers were all armed with paintball guns and following the simple order of seek and shoot.

Kowalski silently cursed the humans who thought it was a smart idea to bring and leave their paintball equipment stashed at the park. What happened to nice, non-painful laser tag? Or capture the flag?

Slowly, he army crawled through the underbrush to a new shrub. From there, he slid to the shaded base of a large tree. However, he didn't make it to the tree as he fell down a leaf covered pit trap. Kowalski sat up, rubbing his head. He glanced upwards and quickly shielded his face as the sky rained down green, blue, and orange paintballs upon him.

"At ease, boys. We've got him."

A rope was then lowered down to Kowalski. He sighed and slowly used it to propel himself up the pit wall. He was covered in paint splotches from head to tail. As he reached the edge, Rico helped pull him up onto the ground.

Skipper took out a clipboard. "Not bad, Kowalski. Not great, but not bad." He checked a box. "Can say you lasted longer than I originally expected...Overall you've improved since the last time you've been tested." He passed the clipboard to Kowalski.

"Thanks…"

"I can tell you've been practicing." He squinted at him.

Kowalski looked down at him and cleared his throat. "Well… Isn't that what we're supposed to do during part of our free time? Train privately?"

"Yeah, but you've never kept up with private training before."

"I've been trying to do better, sir."

Skipper still eyed him with suspicion. "Well… Good. Glad to hear it." He then stepped away and motioned to the others. "Alright boys, let's get back to the zoo. Kowalski, go wash up."

Kowalski rolled his eyes as he followed them. Once back, he took a quick shower before retreating to his lab. He laid down under his workbench, exhausted, and glanced at the clock.

"Haddock." He groaned. The whole day had essentially passed and he hadn't called Francis yet… And didn't feel like doing so now either. Some boyfriend he was shaping out to be already.

Kowalski looked over at his invention notes and sighed. He had had such plans for the day. Plans to finish his current equations. Plans to start cutting the materials. Plans to do more than be pelted by paint and lay around.

Kowalski pulled himself up and waddled over to his laptop. He video-called Francis as he pulled up a stool. He really didn't feel like standing around.

"Hey, sorry, it's been a long day."

Blowhole raised a brow at him. "Did you get into a fight with a paint store?"

Kowalski looked down at himself and sighed. "Not exactly. It's paintball residue from training today. I'll have to get acetone and remove it before Alice sees."

"No, don't do that. Your feathers are in a bad enough shape without being stripped with acetone. Either use a mixture of baking soda and dish soap, or use vinegar."

"Baking soda and dish soap? I should have that…" He slid over to a cabinet and looked through it. "I do. Now what?"

"Put some of each in a small bowl, mix, and wipe it on the stains. Then rinse it out well. Trust me, it works...On skin at least."

Kowalski tried it out. "Oh nice! Smells better than acetone too."

Blowhole rolled his eye. "I can't believe you've been using acetone on your feathers. No wonder your feathers are in the shape they're in."

"I'd actually blame the oil I use for the coup and my inventions. It's a pain to wash out of feathers."

"And what are you using to wash it out with?"

"Dish soap. That trick I did know."

Blowhole nodded as he watched him. "Good. Have you tried moisturizing your feathers?"

"Beyond swimming?" He glanced at the computer.

"Salt water isn't going to moisturize your feathers, Kowalski. You do know salt dehydrates, right?"

"...Right. Then no. I have not."

"You need to try some coconut oil for starters. Then we can figure out something that's more specific to feathers if there isn't an improvement." He tapped his flippers together thoughtfully.

Kowalski looked at him. "Now that, I know I don't have."

"Remind me the next time you're over and I'll give you a bottle. Speaking of which, how did Skipper take the excuse?"

"He didn't believe a word of it. I had to give him a stretched truth." He rubbed his flippers over his face and leaned back into his chair. "I don't know about you, but between yesterday and today, I am exhausted."

"Not surprising."

Kowalski nodded and yawned. "I'm going to put on some tea. Then do you think you're up to helping with that equation I had texted you about last week?"

"Sure. Is that what's up on your whiteboard?"

"Yeah." He nodded as he set a kettle above a Bunsen burner. He opened a cabinet and took out a packet of tea from a box. "I keep getting an undefined answer, but I can't find my mistake." He got a cup from the dishwasher and then froze as he heard the door open. He whirled around and saw Rico staring at the computer screen.

"BLO'HO'E!" He exclaimed.

Within seconds, Kowalski had tackled him to the ground, kicking the door shut. He held his beak closed with his flippers. "Rico. Rico, I promise it's not what it looks like."

Blowhole looked at the two penguins. "Eh...Maybe you should call me back later. I'm just gonna…Yeah." He disconnected the call.

Rico squirmed beneath him and managed to dislodge him from his back and beak. He glared at him and pointed at the computer. "Blo'ho'e."

"Yes...I was talking with Dr. Blowhole." Kowalski stood up and sighed. "But it's not because I'm a traitor or anything like that."

"He 'nemy."

"Technically, yes...But he wasn't being an enemy at this moment."

Rico squinted at him.

"Rico...He's my boyfriend...We're dating."

The full realization of that sentence dawned on Kowalski as he said it. He was dating Dr. Blowhole too, not just Francis. One of the most infamous animal villains of their time was dating _him_. _He _was a supervillain's boyfriend. He blinked and watched as Rico motioned wildly.

"IPPER!"

"Yes, I know Skipper banned it, and no he doesn't know."

Rico growled at him. "Bad."

"Rico, please. Please don't tell him. I'll tell him myself when I've found the right words. Just please keep this a secret." He looked at him with the largest pleading expression he could. "Please, Rico."

"I dunno...Bad no' 'ell 'Ipper." He took a half step away from him, but looked like he was contemplating what Kowalski had said.

"I know, and I promise I'll tell him soon, but just not yet."

Rico was silent for a moment. He stood there, looking at Kowalski, then the computer's blank screen, and back. Finally, he sighed. "'E 'ake 'ou ha'y?"

Kowalski nodded. "I really have enjoyed spending time with him...He understands me and we have a number of shared interests that no one else really shares with us...And I just...Really, really like him, Rico...And he likes me back."

"O'ay… 'Ut 'ou 'otta 'ell'em."

"I will. I promise. I will soon…Somehow."

"Good." Rico nodded and left the room.

Kowalski sat down on the stool again and just stared at the door. He did need to tell Skipper before he found out via other means. He wasn't going to take it well. He would never trust him again. But he couldn't keep this a secret for forever… There were too many witnesses for that. He had to tell him...Didn't he? But wouldn't Skipper make him break up with Francis if he told him? Or maybe he would kick him out of the unit and out of their HQ...and out of their little family.

Maybe it was best to keep it a secret.

But then again...Maybe Skipper wouldn't be so mad if he found out earlier versus later? Or maybe he would be the same mad regardless of time?

Kowalski ran his flipper over his face and shook his head. Just sitting there, silently arguing with himself was not going to solve anything. He got up, waddled over to the kettle, turned it off, and put the tea away. The time for tea had passed. He needed something stronger now. He opened another cabinet, took out a bottle of vodka, and poured it in a glass. He then waddled back over to the computer and called Francis back.

"Hey."

Blowhole looked at him. "How did that go?"

"Well...He's not happy with me, but he's promised to keep it a secret for now." He sipped his drink with a sigh. "On the condition that I tell Skipper myself soon."

"So...You're going to tell Rico you told him and then not actually tell Skipper?"

"I...I don't know." Kowalski looked away at the floor. "Part of me thinks I should tell him...The other part of me can only see horrible results if I do tell him. I just don't know, Francis. I feel like I'm having to pick between him and you."

"Jan, look at me."

Kowalski looked up at the screen.

"You're not choosing between us. You're giving Skipper a chance to choose between you and being stupid. And if he chooses to be stupid, it's not like you don't have anywhere to crash til he sees his error. I doubt he would ostracize you forever. I mean, how often does he make his own options without asking you first? Or try to analyze things himself? Hell, or even track me and other villains on his own? He needs you for that. If he chooses to be stupid, then he'll see how badly he needs you, even if you're dating his archenemy."

"So you think I should tell him?"

"That's up to you. It doesn't affect me if you do or don't tell him."

"I mean...It kind of does. He could try to break us up."

Blowhole looked at him with a deadpan expression. "If you dump me because Skipper tells you to, don't you dare try crawling back to me later. I can tolerate you being a scaredy cat, but I refuse to date an invertebrate if you catch my drift."

"...So in the end, yes, I am having to pick between you and him."

"They must have gotten paint on your brain, so I'm going to give you the chance to think through this a little more before I call you an idiot."

Kowalski took another sip as he thought about this.

"Time's up; you're an idiot." Blowhole rolled his eye. "The decision is not a choice between me or him. I am not providing any ultimatums, so as long as neither of us dumps the other, we are unaffected by Skipper's opinions. The real choice for you is whether you'll let Skipper push you around or if you will make your own decisions. Whatever he does in response is his choice to make."

"So what yourself saying is...If I tell him, I need to be prepared to hold my ground."

"Exactly. Speak his language. Skipper wouldn't dare let someone else dictate his private life. It's time you stood up for yourself, Kowalski. And if he doesn't like that, then you can come work for me. My lab's big enough for two geniuses."

Kowalski smiled a tiny bit as he finished his glass. "You know...Skipper could really learn a thing or two about motivational speeches from you."

"Not everyone is cut out for inspirational speeches." He chuckled and watched as Kowalski poured himself another glass. "I thought you were making tea?"

"Today has gotten progressively more stressful. It went from a late afternoon tea level to a blueberry vodka night level."

"Perhaps you should go to bed early. We can tackle that equation sometime tomorrow."

"No, I'm fine. Let's work on-"

"Allow me to rephrase. Kowalski. Go get some sleep. Inventing and alcohol are a bad mix and you're having enough trouble with this equation sober."

"Alright, alright, fine. I'll take a nap." Kowalski sighed.

"Good. I'll talk with you later. Goodnight."

"Yeah...Goodnight." He sighed and hung up the call. He finished that glass before waddling over to the bed under his lab bench and laying down. Perhaps tomorrow would be better.


	24. Considering Options

**A.N. - Shout out to Insert-username-here for assistance with Fred dialogue ideas! ^^**

* * *

_ **Chapter 24: Considering Options** _

In the words of Henry David Thoreau, "there are moments when all anxiety and stated toil are becalmed in the infinite leisure and repose of nature." With this in mind, Kowalski found himself in the branches of one of the Central Park trees the following day. He needed to be somewhere alone for awhile and he needed to be away from his lab and the HQ...And Skipper. He needed calm and quiet.

Kowalski sighed as he leaned against the trunk and looked up at the golden orange leaves above him and the reddening leaves of other farther trees. Autumn was his favorite season just for this reason. Each tree was full of color. The park looked as though the sun had painted its own dawn and sunset on the trees and dripped onto the grass, as a few trees had already begun to drop their leaves.

At first, he had thought he had come out here for the peace of mind to find answers to his dilemma. However, it seemed he already knew what he _should _do. The problem was finding the nerves to do so, when no matter how he looked at the situation it merely seemed like it would blow up in his face.

"Ow." Kowalski looked up and rubbed his head after an acorn had bounced off it.

_Oh cod no. Not now._

"Have you seen my acorn? It was just here."

"You could say that, yes," he muttered. "I didn't realize this was your tree, Fred."

Fred looked at him and blinked. "It's not my tree...Or at least I don't think it is." He scratched his head.

"Oh." Kowalski sighed. So it was just his bad luck compounding, _fantastic_.

"Is this your tree?"

"No, I'm just trying to be alone so I can think."

"Oh yeah trees are good for thinking. They are good listeners." Fred sat next to him.

Kowalski rolled his eyes and scooted away. "Indeed, though it seems some individuals do not understand what it means when someone tells them they're wanting to be alone."

"Oh yeah, that sucks."

"Yep...That it does." He sighed and looked at him a little more thoughtfully. "Don't take this the wrong way, but Fred, you're a simple minded individual, correct?"

"I'm a what now?"

"If you were secretly dating someone whom your brother hated, would you tell your brother the truth?"

"Who does my brother hate? I didn't know I had a brother."

"No, that's not what—" He ran his flipper down his face. "Nevermind. I knew this was pointless."

"What's pointless?"

"Hypothetical situations that I already know the answer to."

"Then what's the answer?"

Kowalski looked away. "I have to tell Skipper...But I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Well...I'm nervous. Skipper is so unpredictable and can be quite intimidating when he's angry."

"So don't tell him."

"But I need to. My nerves can't handle living a lie for the remainder of this relationship, however long it lasts."

"So tell him."

"That's what I just—_Argh_." He pressed his flippers into his face, covering his eyes before gesturing broadly. "I just wish there was a third option!"

"What would that be?"

"An option where Skipper accepts the relationship and I can be happy and relaxed for once in my life."

"So do that one."

"I _can't_. I know Skipper well enough that that would never happen."

"Why not?"

"Like I said before, Skipper hates him."

"Why?"

"Because he's an evil dolphin who keeps trying to drown the world."

"Why?"

"Because humans traumatized him and he sees their elimination as the only way to keep his family safe from them…" He blinked slowly. "Because... He's not evil...Only hurt and misguided." Kowalski started to climb down. "You know, I think we may be done here. Thanks for trying."

"Man my life sounds confusing. Maybe I should talk with my brother with someone else." He scratched his head.

Kowalski stopped as he heard him. Now that was something he hadn't considered. He climbed back up and looked at him. "Do you mean that as in you and the date, or an impartial moderator?"

"The first one?"

"I might try the second one. Marlene would be a great moderator. Francis… Francis would just inflame the situation."

"Is Francis my brother?"

"No, he's my boyfriend."

"You're dating my brother?"

Kowalski rolled his eyes. "Goodbye, Fred." He began climbing down again.

"Does that make you like my brother-in-law?"

"Nope," he said as he landed on the ground. He couldn't help but smile slightly. Fred may not be a genius, but he made a good rubber duck. He'd have to keep that in mind in the case of future decision problems.

From there, he waddled to Marlene's cave. Worst case scenario, if she wasn't up to playing moderator, perhaps she would have a better suggestion. After all, it wasn't like he really wanted to tell Skipper anyway. He'd love a better suggestion.

Kowalski knocked on the cave wall. "Hey. Are you busy?" He poked his head in the doorway.

Marlene looked over from where she was coloring. "Not really, what's up?"

The penguin waddled in and sat beside her. "I need advice."

"Okay…"

"Rico knows now about Francis and I...and well, I can't keep up lying to Skipper forever. I think, I think I need to tell him." He frowned slightly. "Don't really want to...But I'm not seeing a third option."

"So you're still seeing him?"

Kowalski nodded, frown shifting to a tiny smile. "Yeah. We're officially dating now."

"Oh! That's great!" She smiled and clasped her paws together. "But yeah, I see your dilemma now. How were you thinking to tell him?"

"Perhaps with you as a moderator, if you don't mind?" He tapped his flipper tips together and swallowed. "I-I don't know anyone but you or Private who he'll potentially listen to."

Marlene patted his upper flipper. "So when are we talking with him?"

"I don't know...I hadn't really thought this far yet."

"Oh." She tapped her paw to her chin thoughtfully. "Hey, maybe since I don't go all snarly outside the zoo anymore, the three of us could go get snowcones tonight and you could bring it up then! I mean, he likes snowcones so it would put him in a decent mood to begin with!"

"Marlene, once again, you are a genius."

Marlene chuckled and shook her head.

"But wait, he may find it strange that the other two aren't present."

"Easiest solution since they both know, would be for you to tell them what's up and let them come up with their own excuses." She shrugged.

"Right… That makes sense."

"I'm sure it'll go okay." She patted his flipper again.

Kowalski shifted away from her and nodded. "Either that, or you'll bear witness as he fires and disowns me on the spot."

"He wouldn't—" She hesitated. "Hopefully he won't."

"Yeah…" He stood up and approached the cave entrance. He looked back at her. "Thank you, Marlene, regardless of how it turns out… It— it means a lot to me, really." He smiled one last sheepish smile before leaving.


	25. Elevator Tensions

_ **Chapter 25: Elevator Tensions** _

"Come on, don't drag your feet now." Marlene grunted as she pushed Kowalski across the ice flow. "You said that you wanted to do this. You can't back out now."

"Surely I can! Maybe we can think of a different, better option?" He grimaced, digging his heels into the ground.

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Well, mister options guy, what's your better option?"

"I don't know!"

"Because you know this is the right thing to do."

"What if I wrote him a letter?"

Marlene stopped pushing him. "Can Skipper even read?"

"Does that really matter?" He smiled sheepishly.

"Kowalski."

Kowalski looked at her and deeply sighed. "Alright, fine. Let's get this over with." He kicked open the fish dish and started climbing down.

"Atta boy! You can do this!" She followed him down.

Kowalski reached the bottom and looked around with a sigh. Skipper was nowhere to be seen, but Private and Rico were playing go fish at the table. He waddled over to them and cleared his throat. "Marlene and I are going to break my news to Skipper over snowcones tonight..."

Private looked up and smiled at him. "Oh, good luck!"

"Mmm." Rico glanced at Kowalski with a slight frown as he set down a match of cards. "Still no like it..." he muttered.

"I know you don't trust him...But he really does make me happy, Rico."

Rico glanced at him again and sighed. "He be'er."

"Skipper's down in the archives," Private then piped up.

Kowalski nodded and pushed the wall for the elevator panel to flip out. "Alright, thanks." As soon as the elevator popped up, he stepped on with a nod to Marlene. "I'll be right back."

Once the door shut, he slumped back against the wall with a sigh, rubbing his flipper across his face. This was the right thing to do, he knew it...But it didn't stop his stomach from twisting with anxious nausea. It would be better to confront this tonight than in a year or so...Or being caught red flippered in the middle of a date. That would go terribly.

The door opened to Skipper standing by a filing cabinet, looking through a file. He glanced up as Kowalski stepped out.

"Sir." Kowalski snapped a quick salute to which Skipper raised a nonexistent brow.

"At ease." He closed the file and tucked it under his flipper. "Did you need something?"

Kowalski lowered his flipper and cleared his throat. "Well, Marlene was wondering if we could accompany her for snowcones."

"Oh, sure." He nodded, turning back to the filing cabinet. "I'll be up in just a few minutes. I'll meet you topside."

"Aye, sir." He stepped back onto the elevator with a glance over his shoulder back at Skipper with a small frown. That particular drawer was the one with personnel files. However, the elevator closed before Kowalski could see anything more of what Skipper was doing.

"Maybe he was finally adding that official demerit to my file." He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. "...Hopefully that's all he was doing." He then grimaced as he considered the other leading possibilities.

The elevator door then opened again, the same level as before, and Skipper stepped in with a glance at him. "Did you forget to press the button?"

"... No, I just hadn't pressed it yet." He glanced back at him and pressed for the main level.

The elevator started to ascend before the lights flickered and it stopped between levels. The elevator is completely dark except for the blinking red emergency lighting along the top of the walls.

"Did you forget to do the monthly maintenance?" He glanced at him.

"No, sir." Kowalski shook his head as he opened the fuse panel and glanced around. "Must have been one of the others that flipped. These are fine."

"So we're stuck here til the others notice."

"Unless you're in the mood to climb the cables up, but in case it comes online before we reach the main floor, I wouldn't recommend that option…"

"Because…?"

"We'd likely be crushed by the ceiling." Kowalski rolled his eyes. "But I'm sure the others will notice soon and find the issue." He leaned back against the elevator wall and watched Skipper do the same. "So...Anything interesting in the files?"

Skipper raised a nonexistent brow. "Nothing of your concern."

"Right...Right…" He nodded, looking away for a moment. He glanced back at Skipper as he thought. He could tell him now. Granted, they were without a mediator, but it wasn't like they had anything else to do right now. "Skipper...Can I talk with you about something while we're alone?"

"Uh, sure." He glanced at him.

Kowalski stood up straight and cleared his throat. "I...I haven't been all that honest with you lately...And I'd like to...Be honest with you."

Skipper raised a brow again. "Continue."

The taller penguin tapped his flipper tips together nervously. "Well...You know how you told me to stop seeing Francis?"

"Yes."

"_Well_...I didn't. We're dating." He smiles nervously at him. "I was with him when I snuck out of duties on Halloween."

Skipper narrowed his eyes at him. "Anything else?"

"I've...Snuck out a few different nights to see him." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But Skipper, I really like him. And I think he likes me back, too."

"Kowalski." He rolled his eyes. "You do remember that Francis is _Dr. Blowhole, _right? He's a charming liar. He's a heartless, evil mastermind. He doesn't _like_ anyone."

"...I have to say I disagree with that sir. Just because he's evil doesn't mean he can't care about anyone. And I'm pretty sure he cares about me, at least a little bit." He looked down at him.

"You're just playing into his scheme. You're going to get us all killed because of your flights of fancy, Kowalski."

"I know, I was...But we already discussed that. He's not doing that anymore."

"And you believe him?!" Skipper took a step closer to him. "How big of an idiot can you be?! You can't trust a word he says, Kowalski! He'll say whatever he needs to get what he wants. You _know_ this."

"He doesn't lie about _everything_." Kowalski crossed his flippers, looking away.

Skipper groaned and ran his flippers down his face. For a moment he's silent. "Either you break up with him, or I want your resignation."

"Oh come on!" Kowalski dropped his flippers and took a step towards Skipper. "Why can't you just be my brother and be happy for me for once in your life?! Why must you always turn everything into military nonsense!?"

"Kowalski, you're dating my archenemy. That makes you a traitor."

"All we do is talk about science, inventing, and the paranormal! In what way does that make me a traitor?" Kowalski growled.

"If we cornered him on a mission, would you be able to put an end to him if I ordered it?" Skipper crossed his flippers.

Kowalski squinted at him and turned away. "That doesn't make me a traitor. Private wouldn't do that either and he doesn't care about him."

Skipper shook his head. "This isn't about what Private would do. This is about how it's changing _you_. You and I both know this _won't _work out for you in the end. Dolphins don't do that whole long term relationship thing."

"So?! Can't I just be happy and enjoy this while it lasts then?! I mean, you dated Kitka! And she tried to _eat _Fred for flounder's sake! At least my boyfriend won't eat anyone!"

"No, he just wants to drown the world."

"He can change!" Kowalski leaned on the wall, turning his back to Skipper.

"This ain't a harlequin romance, Kowalski. People don't change for the better; they just get worse."

"Oh trust me, I've realized that." He glared at Skipper. "But some change. Armadillo Kid changed!"

"Are you really comparing Dr. Blowhole to that batty armadillo?"

Kowalski turned around and put his flippers on his hips. "You know what I meant."

Skipper rolled his eyes. "I'm done arguing about this, Kowalski. I know the more I push, the more you're going to push back. You're just hormonal and trying to live with your head in the clouds. You keep following this path, and we won't be there for you when it eventually blows up in your face."

"I am _not _just hormonal!"

"It's breeding season. Your feelings for Blowhole won't last. Once February hits and you aren't nesting on an egg, your feelings will completely dissolve just like that. You know I'm right."

Kowalski side-eyed him and shook his head. "I know I like him more than just because of hormones. He and I have a lot in common. He understands me."

"Which makes it easy for him to trick and use you."

"He's not using me anymore, Skipper. He likes me and I like him."

Skipper shook his head as the elevator lights turned back on and it began moving upwards once more. "...Then I expect your formal resignation."

"No worries, Skipper, you'll _get _my formal resignation." Kowalski sighed, looking at the door. "I just hoped that perhaps maybe, maybe for once, you could just be my brother and trust me." When the elevator opened, he then slid off, passed Marlene and Private.

"Hard to trust someone who's been lying to me, disobeying orders, and putting the team at risk of being compromised by our enemy!" Skipper shouted after him. He then noticed the others looking at him. "What?"

Marlene looked at him and then up as the HQ hatched slammed shut. "I'm guessing he told you and it did not go well…"

Skipper narrowed his eyes at her. "You knew?"

Private cleared his throat, looking away. "We...all kind of knew, sir."

"Well ain't that just fantastic!" He growled, waddling over to his coffee machine. "My lieutenant turned traitor and got the rest of my team keeping secrets from me. What's next? Mutiny?!"

"Skipper...I think you're overreacting just a smidge." Marlene sighed, walking over to him. "Kowalski's not planning mutiny and he's not trying to betray you. He just wants to be happy."

Skipper looked at her, sipping his coffee. "And he's allowed to be happy, just not with Blowhole. He could even date the Blue Hen if he really wanted to date a villain for all I care, but dating my archenemy? Not under my roof."

"...Can't you at least give them a chance to make it work? Maybe you could give them some rules! Find a compromise!" She smiled slightly at him. "You don't want to really lose Kowalski, do you? You know, if he left here, he might begin working for Blowhole. Do you really want someone who knows all your secrets working with the enemy?"

Skipper silently pondered this for a moment. "No…"

"So maybe a compromise is in order, eh? Eh?" Marlene nudged him with her elbow with a large smile. "I'm sure there is a way to make everyone happy. Or at least something tolerable for everyone!"

"Uggggh. Fiiiiiine. I'll think about it," he groaned, rubbing his flippers over his face.


	26. Missing

**Chapter 26: Missing**

After leaving the HQ, Kowalski slid out to the park. He wasn't surprised at how Skipper reacted. In fact, he had been expecting a worse reaction, but that didn't mean that he wasn't still angry with it. And what _exactly_ did this resignation really entail? Was this just a resignation from the unit as his lieutenant, or was it simultaneously a cut off from them as a family unit as well?

Kowalski ran his flippers through his head feathers with a deep breath. Did he really just choose an evil mastermind over his own brothers? Maybe Skipper was right; maybe he was making the wrong choice. He and Francis have only been test-dating a few months, he didn't really _know_ him. How serious would Francis be open to eventually considering this relationship? How long will it even last before Francis gets bored and moves on? Did he really want to put himself in a position for future inevitable heartbreak?

Or should he just trust Francis as he has been behaving recently? After all, he is nothing like any other dolphin he's ever met. He may be open to considering more long term relationships… After all, he was in a sort of long term relationship with revenge, so it's not like he has a general commitment avoidance. Boredom would certainly be the main concern. This could all just be a game to him...What if he's just some toy to him?

A stone dropped in his gizzard and he paused by a tree, leaning against it slightly. Was he just Francis's current entertainment? Would that end before or after his supposed "hormonal" liking of Francis wore off?

Kowalski then fiercely shook his head. NO. No. He couldn't think like this. He liked Francis and Francis liked him back. Francis cared about him. He was happier around Francis than around Skipper. Plus, Francis said he had loyalty bonded to him and he wouldn't lie about that. This...This was a good choice. He would write that resignation when he returned to the zoo.

However, he wasn't going back yet. Oh no no no. He might be calmer, but Skipper certainly wouldn't be yet. He wasn't going back until Skipper had gone to bed.

Kowalski looked around for a moment before starting to waddle towards the city. A drink or two didn't sound that bad after today. Plus, who ever wanted to write a resignation letter sober? Not him, that's for sure.

He was almost out of the park when he noticed this feeling of being watched. He paused and looked around himself. "Hello? Someone there?" His raised feathers rustled in the cool autumn breeze.

After there was no answer, he shrugged it off and continued on his way. And yet, that feeling of being watched did not go away. Kowalski stopped once again, his feathers bristling. He still didn't see anything. Then, with a rustle of leaves, a seaweed net shot out from a bush and wrapped around him. He fell with a muffled yelp, wriggling around just in time to see a lobster approaching with chloroform.

* * *

"A little to the left. No. Noooo, you idiot! My left!" Blowhole shouted as he motioned to a lobster operating a crane. "Easy, eaaasy! Okay, now slowly lower-_no slower, SLOWER!_"

The large motor the lobster was moving dropped with a clamorous thud inside the engine compartment. The lobster grinned nervously at the dolphin. "My bad, boss."

Blowhole face-finned with a groan. "I am surrounded by incompetent fools..." He rubbed his fin across his face with a deep sigh, just shaking his head. "That motor better still work, Red Eighty-Seven, or I'm docking it from the pay of this entire shift."

"Doc! Doc!"

"Yes?" He turned to see Red One scurrying in.

"Intruders in sector E!"

"Intruders?" Blowhole frowned, checking his calendar on his phone and he rolled out after Red One. "Not expecting the peng-u-ins for another three months."

"Well, they're here early."

"Kowalski, I swear-"

"-He's actually not one of them, sir."

Blowhole paused for a moment with a raised brow. "Curious…" He then shrugged as he rolled into the room where three penguins are in a cage. "Well, well, well, peng-u-ins…What the hell are you doing here?"

Skipper squinted at him from the cage. "We demand to talk to Kowalski."

"Uh...What?" He squinted back at him. "He's not here."

"Don't give me that cod, Blowhole," he growled. "I know the two of you are seeing each other. He came here after we discussed his resignation."

"No. He didn't." The dolphin put his fin to his hip. "I haven't heard from Kowalski since-" He paused to think, tapping his other fin on his rostrum. "-the day before yesterday?"

"You're lying."

"That's your opinion to have. Regardless, he's not here."

"Then where are you keeping him?"

Blowhole squinted at Skipper. "What part of…? Skipper, seriously, I don't know what you're talking about. He's not here. If he's missing, I've got nothing to do with it."

Skipper frowned at this and looked at the other two before back at the dolphin with a sigh. "Then do you have any idea where he may be?"

"I had been under the impression he was with you three."

"He was until our discussion last night. Then he slid off." Skipper crossed his flippers. "And then he still wasn't back this morning."

Blowhole now frowned as well. "I suppose I could try to get his location from his phone...But what's in it for me to want to help you out, eh?"

"Seriously?"

"He could be in danger." Private sighed.

"I never said I wasn't going to look into it at all. I just wonder what's in it for me to tell you all what I find." Blowhole tapped his fin to his rostrum once again with a smirk.

"Can't believe I'm asking this," Skipper sighed, rolling his eyes. "What do you want for it?"

"Not sure...Let's just say you'll owe me one favor that I can cash in at any time however I wish?" The dolphin leaned down, grinning widely. "Do we have a deal, Skipper?"

"...Perhaps we can find him on our own, sir," Private suggested, tapping Skipper's shoulder.

Skipper glanced at Private before looking at Blowhole and nodding. "Fine...It's a deal."

"Excellent." Blowhole leaned away from the cage with a short cackle. "Red One, let the peng-u-ins free. They are allowed to follow me to my lab. If they stray from following, they are to be captured and returned to the cage."

"Got it, Doc." The lobster nodded, waving a few other lobsters over to him as he unlocked the cage.

Blowhole already rolled away towards his lab. Now that he was no longer facing them, he frowned slightly. This wasn't normal Kowalski behavior to just vanish. If he had to guess, he probably got drunk and then got himself lost last night on the way back. He could even be back at the peng-u-in headquarters by now...But it could be possible that someone _did_ kidnap him, either one of their enemies...Or perhaps one of his own. After all, other villains did see him with him during the Halloween dance.

_But if someone did take him-_

"Hey, Doc?"

Blowhole looked down at Red One. "Yes?" he sighed.

"The Diabologizer's missing."

"WHAT?" He stopped immediately and leaned down to him. "What do you _mean_ the Diabologizer is missing?"

"I mean...It was there, and when Red Thirty-Two walked by, it wasn't there anymore."

"How long?"

"He just texted me now." He held up his phone for him to see.

"Crabcakes," Blowhole swore, leaning back up right. "Put the lair on lock-down." He turned and looked at the penguins. "Change of plans, first we're checking the camera systems. Kowalski will just have to wait a few minutes." He shook his head and rolled off to the monitoring room so that he could check footage.


	27. Thieves and Traitors

**Chapter 27: Thieves and Traitors**

With a quiet moan, Kowalski opened his eyes and rubbed his head. He slowly sat up and blearily glanced around his surroundings. He was in a small cage and outside the cage there was straw, or perhaps hay? He was no grass expert and his head was pounding still.

Kowalski stood up and poked his head between the bars to get a better look around. Yep. He appeared to be in some sort of barn. Perhaps the petting zoo? He turned his head and his nonexistent brows shot up in surprise. Off in the far corner, Francis's Diabologizer was parked and beside it, one of his own inventions, the Helmet.

He hadn't thought about the Helmet since Rico shot it off Julien's head with a bazooka. It was looking pretty good, all things considered….But what the cod was it doing in a barn with Francis's Diabologizer?

"Oh good, you're awake."

Kowalski turned towards the voice and narrowed his eyes. "_You_."

"Yes." The blue chicken chuckled, stepping closer to the cage. "Me. Did you miss me?"

"Not at all." Kowalski crossed his flippers, frowning at her. "So I see you've taken up a new hobby. Invention thievery."

The hen hummed a little as she strode over to the inventions. "Well, you know what they say, Kowalski. Work smarter, not harder." She winked at him. "And these two inventions make the _perfect_ combination for successful world domination. Especially with the intellect of a _true _genius, compared to a little _subgenius_."

Kowalski took a step back with a glance at her. "Do you have to keep calling me that?"

"Mmm, the truth hurts too much? Too bad." Blue picked up the Helmet. "With the thought manifestation abilities of this, I have calculated that if diabologized, as it should obtain the ability to create objects out of pure imagination without having to wait for it to come to you. And if my calculations are correct, which they impeccably are, mind control is also a definite as well." She set the Helmet down.

The penguin sighed and looked at the inventions again. "So...Let me guess...You're going to diabologize both me and the Helmet? You know stealing from Francis signed your death certificate, right?"

"Diabologize you?" Blue gasped dramatically. "Well, now that's something I _hadn't_ considered. What a great idea." She then rolled her eyes. "Oh like that subgenius is anything to fear. He's all talk and sass."

"Quit with the act." He rolled his eyes. "You think it makes you sound smarter, but it sounds asinine and completely juvenile."

The hen stepped closer to the cage. "Fancy words for a subgenius." She chuckled, poking her head into the cage. "However, I really wasn't planning to diabologize you. Instead, I thought I'd make you an offer." She ran a feather tip down the bar of the cage, not looking at him.

Kowalski narrowed his eyes at her again. "Like I'd ever consider an offer from you."

"Oh come on, Kowalski," she sighed, shaking her head. She took a step back and looked at him with her wings on her hips. "Do you _really_ think that dolphin has feelings for you? Even I thought you were smarter than that. He's just using you."

"Dear cod, you too?!" He groaned, pressing his flippers to his face before gesturing wildly. "Yes. I do, because he does and he's not."

The hen chuckled, shaking her head. "You're so gullible." She poked her head in again and booped his beak with her feather tip. "It's so adorable."

Kowalski jerked his head back with a glare.

The blue hen sighed, clucking softly as she shook her head. "You're just so usable. First Skipper, now that Blowjoke fella. You never see the signs. Your self-esteem is just that low. It's almost pitiful. One person offers you the slightest sliver of a compliment and you roll over for them."

He turned away from her, shaking his head. "That's not true…"

"Oh but it is, and you know it. Just like you _know_ you're a subgenius, if even that," she sighed. "Such a shame the predicament you've allowed yourself to be placed into. Skipper hates your inventing and largely thinks of you as a failure. Blowjoke hates how you're not evil and you still have a conscience. Neither will ever accept you exactly as you are, and you know it." She stepped around to the side closest to him and reached into the cage. She stroked his cheek with her feather tip. "However, I accept you as the dorky subgenius you are. I don't even care that you have a conscience. You'd make a pleasant trophy husband."

Kowalski looked up and leaned away from her with a look of disgust. "What?"

"I know you like children, Kowalski." She wrapped her feather tips around the bars. "We could have as many as you like and you could continue your little inventing hobby and subgenius activities, while I rule the world." She chuckled, leaning into the cage again. "We both know you wouldn't want leadership responsibilities. And that's perfectly fine. I'll handle the domination." She winked at him. "Just think about it. You could be by my side as I rule the world, or you could live out the rest of your days as my diabologized pet. Your choice." She leaned away and began to walk towards the door. "I'll let you think about it, but I think it's an excellent deal that you won't find anywhere else."

Kowalski grimaced as he watched her leave and just shook his head. "No thank you. No thank you. Noooooo thank you," he murmured, looking at the cage bars. He had finally found the part with the lock. He tried fitting his flipper inside it to pick it, but it was a little too small. He sighed and released the lock, looking around again. "Maybe I can use some of this straw…" He knelt down and reached out of the cage and grabbed a flipperful from the ground. "No...Much too flimsy. Well…_Heck_," he huffed and tossed it away.

* * *

Blowhole skimmed through several hours of footage from the camera watching the diabologizer's room. However, he was frustrated to see that the section of time, that he could only assume it was taken, was corrupted on the camera's memory. Whoever had been stupid enough to steal his invention was going to pay for it. _No one_. _No. One._ steals from Dr. Blowhole and gets away with it.

"Red Two, I want all footage analyzed for any sign of an intruder. Come to the lab when you see something," he sighed, shaking his head and rolling out. First Kowalski, now his Diabologizer? What the absolute hell was going on? National steal from Blowhole day?

Blowhole rolled into the lab where the penguins had been waiting...In another cage. Of course, he couldn't trust them to behave themselves unsupervised while he checked those cameras. He clicked a button on the panel of his Segway and it opened with a soft click. "Be good and I'll let you stand outside the cage and watch."

Skipper rolled his eyes as he stepped out and waddled over to him and the computer. "Just hurry up and find my lieutenant, Blowhole. I don't have the patience for this."

"That really sounds like a _you _problem." He tapped on his keyboard before plugging his phone into the computer and tapping more buttons. "Let's see…" He clicked a few final keys on the keyboard again and watched the screen switch over to a map.

"So? Where is he?" Skipper crossed his flippers with a glare.

"Give it a minute, it's searching."

"Uggggh," he groaned and sat down on the desk edge. "Tell it to search faster."

Blowhole rolled his eye and leaned onto the desk by him. "You know what this reminds me of?" He glanced at the penguin.

"Oh don't you even bring that up," Skipper snarled, glaring at him.

"It's like you don't even know me." He gasped. "You think I'd dare bring up Costa Rica in front of your team just to watch you squirm? I'm aghast." He cackled.

"One more word, villainous scum, one. More. Word." He pointed at him, standing up once more.

Blowhole simply smirked and tapped the computer screen. "He's in some barn in the Central Park's Children's zoo."

"What the halibut is he doing in the pe-" Skipper stopped. "Blue."

"Blue? You mean the chicken?" He turned and looked at him with an amused snort. "You're telling me, Kowalski got himself kidnapped by a _chicken_?" He laughed.

"The Blue Hen isn't just some chicken," Private said, hopping up onto the table. "She's a genius. She's smarter than Kowalski."

"Ehhh, doubt it."

"She really is. She out-thinks him every time. She's a probability genius."

"So? Being a genius requires more than being a statistics machine. Some variables a computer just can't analyze, which means she can't either. I mean, she's a _chicken_. They have such tiny brains. There's only so much she could possibly do with it."

"Boss! Boss!"

Blowhole and Skipper both turned and looked at the lobster running into the room. "Yeah?"

"I got something from the footage, but you won't believe it!"

"Try me." He leaned down towards him. "What did you see?"

The lobster held up his phone to show him a picture. "Fifty-Nine and One-Hundred-Seven conspiring with some chicken...Or at least I think they're conspiring. They look suspicious."

Blowhole looked at the picture before leaning back straight with a serious frown. "I see…Good job, Red Two." He turned and looked at Skipper and the other penguins. "I'll meet you at that barn." He then rolled out of the room without another word, leaving the penguins to be escorted out by Red One and Two.


	28. Escape Attempt

**A. N. - Very close to the end now! Just a heads up, the current plan is to end with chapter 30!**

* * *

_ **Chapter 28: Escape Attempt** _

"Just...A few more…Pieces…" Kowalski grunted as he reached as far as he could from the cage for whatever hay he could reach. He bit his tongue as he barely managed to grab a few pieces of straw. He then sat up with a sigh and braided these strands into the short rope he had woven. "There." He held up the rope and tugged on the ends, checking its sturdiness. It wasn't as long or as strong as he would have preferred, but it would do. He then coiled it and hid it behind his back.

He looked up as he heard the barn door open and took a deep breath. For a brief moment, he hoped it was some of his teammates...or ex-teammates. However, that hope quickly dissolved as he saw it was only Blue.

"So...Have you made your decision, Kowalski?" She stepped over towards the cage. He could see the key now, dangling from a red ribbon around her neck.

"I have, yes." He leaned against the bars, facing her, and sighed. "After crunching the numbers, I decided your offer was perhaps the better bargain." He glanced at her.

Blue stepped closer to Kowalski. "Oh? Which part of it?"

"The part where I'm not diabologized and get to be a parent, of course." He glanced at her again, this time with a smirk. "After all, that would be the smart choice. A genius with a diabologized telepathic helmet would be virtually unstoppable. I would be an idiot to let myself just be diabologized and used…" He looked away, towards the barn door. "As you said...Francis and Skipper have just been using me. And you, you said you'll accept me as I am...Subgenius and all."

"Oh Kowalski," she chuckled and stepped completely over to the cage. She stroked his cheek with her wing tips. "I didn't expect such a disloyal and intelligent decision from you. But I suppose there isn't much for you to be loyal to Skipper and the others about anymore is there?"

"Not really, no…" He looked towards the key at her neck again.

"But I'm afraid I can't let you out of the cage, Kowalski. For your own safety and to make sure that you do not change your mind and try to interfere with my plans, you have to stay here. You understand, right?"

Kowalski nodded and sighed. "Of course..."

"Good." She smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

Kowalski leaned in as well, but instead of kissing her, he slipped the rope around her neck and tugged her against the cage bars. "But I hope _you _understand that I hate being stuck in isolation and will do _anything _to get out." He then sneered.

"_You…_" She coughed, choking as Kowalski more firmly pulled on the hay rope.

"I'm afraid you've lost your touch." He slipped the key from around her neck. Keeping a firm grasp on it with one flipper, he unlocked the cage with his other. He then dragged her into the cage as he jumped out and slammed the door shut. "Bet you didn't see that coming you mental hen, did ya?" He locked the cage back.

Blue growled at him, trying to grab the key, but he jumped back from the cage, slipping it around his own neck. "I will have my revenge, Kowalski. This time, it'll be personal."

"It's been personal since the very first time you called me a subgenius, Blue." He rolled his eyes and then turned and looked at the inventions. There really wasn't anything keeping him from diabologizing the helmet anyway just to see what it may do, was there?

Oh right, it could become sentient like the MP3 Player had and go on a rampage. Yeah no, bad idea.

Kowalski then paused. Something wasn't right with this. Blue hadn't been working alone, obviously, because how else would she have the Diabologizer? And she wasn't what had kidnapped him either. That had been…

He noticed the sound of scurrying little crustacean legs coming from the barn door and turned. Sure enough, two turncoat lobsters were walking in, each carrying a kelp-net blaster. "Ah fishsticks."

The lobsters raised the net blasters, taking aim.

"Come on! Do you really want to work for this chicken? Wasn't working for Blowhole better?" Kowalski jumped behind the Diabologizer.

"It was until you entered the picture," one of the lobsters said, aiming the blaster again.

"What, you don't like the doc having a life outside of villainy?" He ducked down as the lobster shot at him. "After everything he does for you lobsters? I mean, insurance! Vacations! A fricken paycheck! I bet Blue isn't offering you any of that, is she?" He peeked back around at them.

"Shut up, penguin. Parker was right. You're just going to get in the boss's way. We're not working for the hen; we're working with her."

"Right, right...Because Dr. Blowhole is going to be over the moon that you helped some other villain take over the world, knowing full well that is his aspiration to achieve," he scoffed. "No, you're obviously still her henchmen. Just now, you're working pro bono and when Blowhole finds out, you'll be buttered and boiled."

The other lobster hesitated. "...You really think the boss is going to be that mad?"

"It doesn't matter, we're doing this for his own good. He's bound to thank us later."

"What if he really is that mad?"

"...Well, we are too far in to turn back now."

Kowalski during this has started sneaking for the door. Perhaps he could make a slide for it then alert the others of Blue's plans.

"Boys! Boys! He's getting away!" Blue clucked from the cage. "Get him and get me out of here!"

The lobsters quickly took aim and shot their net guns at Kowalski as he slid for the door. The first one missed, but as he swerved around it, the second net got him. His combined sliding velocity with that of the net threw him into the wall, hitting his head and back

Kowalski gasped and blinked hard against the stars he was momentarily seeing. That was going to leave a few bruises he'd still be feeling later...If there was a later for him to feel it. As the lobsters skittered over and picked him up, he tried weakly to wriggle out of their grasp, but it was to no avail. One took the key from him and opened the cage, releasing Blue. The other tossed Kowalski in, net and all.

Blue closed the door and clucked, shaking her head. "Such a shame, Kowalski. You and I, we could have ruled the world together."

"There will never be a you and I, Blue." Kowalski scowled. "You're not my type."

"Too bad." She sighed and walked over to the Diabologizer. "Because now, you're just going to be stuck as my little diabologized pet." She began to press buttons on the ray's console. The lobsters retreated behind her as they watched her aim the ray at the cage.

"I'd rather be a monster than by your side any day. I just hope karma bites you in the tail, hard." He narrowed his eyes at her before looking back up at the Diabologizer and swallowing. He then closed his eyes, preparing for the inevitable. 


	29. Spider Helmet

_ **Chapter 29: Spider Helmet** _

"Step away from the Diabologizer, Blue."

Blue paused and turned towards the barn door. "Oh Skipper, you're right on schedule." She clucked.

The two lobsters from either side of the room shot nets at the three penguins.

Kowalski rolled his eyes as he watched them be dragged to his cage and tossed in as well. "In what world was going in the front door a good option?"

"Well, it's not like I had my usual options."

"I'm sorry, are you trying to blame your lack of options on me while I have been kidnapped? Did you forget that I was resigning at your behest anyhow?" He narrowed his eyes at him.

"Both of you! This is not the time!" Private exclaimed, putting himself between them.

Kowalski and Skipper glared at each other one last time before looking back at Blue. "So what's the scheme this time, Blue?" Skipper grumbled.

"Easy. World domination." She shrugged, now aiming the diabologizer at the Helmet. "While you boys are busy fighting yourselves, I'm going to continue with my schedule." She pressed the button and a bright green light enveloped the Helmet.

From there, the Helmet grew in size, much too large for a chicken to wear. It turned black and green. The large batteries along the sides extended and split into four long spider-like legs. The inside of the helmet grew sharp, metallic teeth. Then it roared, the sound amplified by the transmitter on the top, before running out of the barn.

For a moment, everyone stood there in shock. Kowalski was the first to look at Blue. "I think your impeccable math was, in fact, peccable."

Blue side-eyed him. "I hate you."

"You should let us out so we can clean up your mess." He leaned against the bars. "Because I doubt you can tame that _thing _on your own."

"Oh I'm not, but I'm not going to let you out either. Not in this condition at least, oh no no no." She chuckled, adjusting the diabologizer's aim. "No. I have a new plan. Release monsters upon New York and take control during the chaos."

"How original." Skipper rolled his eyes.

"Don't care." The hen looked at the lobsters for a moment as though contemplating whether to diabologize them as well. "Five monsters should be plenty." She nodded to herself and pressed the button again.

The penguins shielded their eyes and braced themselves for the pain they knew would probably follow being diabologized. However, after a second of not feeling anything, they peaked from their flippers to see their cage surrounded by a pale blue force field.

"What the deuce?"

Then an unmistakable evil cackle was heard from outside before a large bubblecopter burst through the ceiling and drifted gracefully to the ground. The copter folded itself away and the dolphin stretched on his segway. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the peng-u-ins and a chicken."

Kowalski sat up with a look of surprise. He himself did not expect this.

Blue took a step back. "You're not supposed to be here!"

"Oh? You stole from me and you didn't think I'd notice?" Blowhole rolled closer and leaned down to her. "I don't think you truly understand the mental prowess you have crossed, chicken."

"I'm not afraid of you, you overrated guppy."

Blowhole raised a brow and smirked. "Mmm, well. I'm afraid that was the wrong answer." He plucked the key from around her neck and tossed it to a lobster. "Red One, let the peng-u-ins out."

"Why are you working against me? We should work together! Two geniuses working towards-"

"Let me stop you there." He held up a fin. "No. I made the mistake of working with no-ones before. I will not make that mistake again." He pressed a button behind her and the diabologizer folded itself into a smaller package. "Plus I see no genius here. I see a thief, and not even a skilled one."

Blowhole then leaned away and looked over at the penguins. "I only came here for what was mine. I believe you peng-u-ins have some monster to attend to?"

"Right. Men, come on." Skipper nodded and slid out of the cage, followed closely by Rico and Private. Kowalski paused for a moment by the cage door, but after Blowhole blinked at him with his signature smirk, he smiled slightly and slid out after the others.

"So, Kowalski. What are we dealing with?" Skipper looked over at him.

Kowalski took his clipboard from Rico and flipped through a few pages and started sketching. "From what we observed in there and our past experience with diabologized objects, we are facing a spider-helmet beast...Which may or may not be brain-parasitic."

"Why the cod would it be a brain-eater?"

"Well…" He put his clipboard away. "It should be attracted to brains from how before the Helmet used brain power to inspire its telepathy powers. I would predict that if the mutant Helmet tried to eat your brain, before it completed the action, you should be able to think it out of existence, so to speak."

Skipper nodded, rubbing under his beak. "So we need to lure it out with some succulent brainpower, eh?"

"Ideally, yes." He glanced at him and then leaned away. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" He asked, but there was a certain smile on his beak that made Kowalski's feathers crawl.

"No no no, I'm not playing brain bate." He took a step back. "I know that face. I won't do it."

Skipper grinned a little larger. "Oh come on, Kowalski. You go on at length about your genius and how I under appreciate it. Just let it have a little nibble and then overpower its circuits or whatever."

Kowalski narrowed his eyes at him. "Fine. But if this leaves me with lasting brain injury, I'm blaming you." He pointed his flipper at him.

"Whatever, just go clean up your ex-girlfriend's mess."

"She's not my ex. We never dated." He grumbled as he slid towards the helmet spider.

Skipper watched him and motioned to Rico. "Get the bazooka ready. The moment that thing is on his head, I want it blasted sky-high in case he's wrong." He paused. "Try not to hit him, but he is expendable."

"He's not expendable. Do not hit him."

Skipper turned and looked at Blowhole behind them. "I thought you were just here for your invention."

"I said I came for the things which are mine. I'm making sure Kowalski is returned in one-piece as well." He rolled his eye. "But when this is wrapped up, the three of us need to talk."

"And why the halibut would we need to talk?"

"Need I remind you that you _owe_ me since I shared with you his location?"

"Fine. We'll schedule something later." He raised a pair of binoculars as he looked over at Kowalski and the monster. "Alright, Rico, on my mark."

Rico raised the bazooka with a nod, taking aim.

"Mark."

He shot the bazooka and they watched it hit its mark perfectly. The shrill Kowalski scream that followed reassured them all that he was fine.

"I'll be in touch." Blowhole nodded and rolled away as the other penguins slid over to Kowalski.

Kowalski turned and glared at them, eye twitching, face covered in soot from the explosion. "You shot at my head with a bazooka?! What the cod is wrong with you?!"

"It worked, didn't it? And you're fine, aren't you?" Skipper shrugged.

"I don't like your self-made options." He grumbled, crossing his flippers.

"Guess you'll have to stick around then."

Kowalski side-glanced him. "You're the one who wanted me to resign."

"Yeah...I know." He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "I may have been a little quick with the pink slip." He turned back towards him. "I still disapprove of your relationship with him."

"But?"

"But maybe I should let you see for yourself how bad of an idea he is."

Kowalski slowly lowered his crossed flippers. "So...You're going to let me date him?"

"Just because I know it will dissolve into ruin eventually." He paused, looked at him, and sighed. "...But we'll be there for you when it does."

A tiny smile twitched on his beak before he hugged Skipper. "I'll take it. Thank you, sir. Really, thank you."

Skipper smiled slightly himself and patted his back. "Alright, alright, enough with the sappy stuff. Let's go home."


	30. Epilogue

**A.N. - Final chapter. It is terribly short, but really this epilogue scene will be continued in the sequel! In fact, there will be TWO sequels to be on the look out for soon. A Scientific Conundrum (a direct continuance of this fic) and Scientist Overboard (not a direct sequel, but a sequel in the fact the dorks are dating). This has been a fun ride with you all, and I want to thank you all for reading and your reviews and likes! When I started this fic, I anticipated it to be 4 chapters long and not very well ** **received, you guys have been awesome, and I learned that I absolutely cannot estimate chapter length of my fics. I look forward to hearing from you all again when the sequels begin to emerge. If you have ideas for the dorks you'd like to share, feel free to leave them in your comments, or message me! I love hearing feedback. <3 ** **** **Now without further ado, here is the final chapter.**

* * *

_ **Chapter 30: Epilogue ** _

The door above slammed shut behind him as Blowhole descended the ramp to the room below. Dangling above a large pot of boiling oil was one Blue Hen in a cage. He rolled closer and looked at her. "Comfortable?"

"Not particularly."

"Good." He looked at the control panel before him, his flipper hovering over the buttons. "Now let's see...Which button shall I press?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"You're seriously asking me that?" Blowhole rolled his eye. "I let you into my lair. I let you attend one of my parties. I let you socialize with several big dogs of villainy. And how did you repay my generosity?" He narrowed his eye at her. "By stealing my invention, turning two of my very own lobsters against me, kidnapping my boyfriend, and nearly diabologizing my arch. I have dibs for that."

"So what?" The hen swallowed slightly, looking at the oil below her. "I'm a villain. You're a villain. It's what we do."

Blowhole looked up at her. "No, that's what low level villains do. Villains with class do not steal 4from other villains unless it is earned revenge. And Blue, you really pecked off more than you could handle stealing from me."

"So you're going to fry me just for a little petty theft? You're bluffing. You wouldn't actually—"

A smirk darkened his face and he chuckled. "I suppose we will have to see about that, won't we?"

At this moment, the door opened above and Red One stepped onto the ramp. "Doc!"

"What now?" He sighed, turning and looking up at him.

"Kowalski's at the door."

Blowhole considered this and looked back at Blue. "Go ahead and let him in, I'll be there in just a moment, Red One."

"Gotcha, Doc." The lobster scuttled out and the door closed behind him.

"Let's see, now back to the buttons." His flipper danced between a couple buttons, before he just shrugged and pressed the green one before rolling up the ramp. He paused at the top and looked back at her. "If you cross me again, Blue. It will be the last time." He then rolled out the door.

Blue squawked as the cage dropped suddenly. However, it stopped just above the oil and the side opened. "Oh!"

Two lobsters stepped out from the shadows of either side of the room. "Follow us."

"And what if I don't?" She looked at them with squinted eyes.

The lobsters looked nonplussed. "We are under orders that if you do not allow yourself to be escorted out, then we are to put you back in the cage and let it continue into the oil."

Blue sighed and nodded her head slightly. "Fine. But this is not the last of this. I'll have my revenge for this embarrassment."

"We'll be sure to pass your regards to the Doc. This way."

"And be sure to keep quiet. If he hears you, he'll trigger the alarms and once again, you'll be returned to the fryer."

"Alright, alright, I get it." She rolled her eyes, hopping down. "I'll be quiet. Sheesh."

The lobsters nodded and opened a smaller backdoor and motioned for her to go first. And thus the Blue Hen made her quiet getaway from Blowhole's lair.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Scientist Overboard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573095) by [BML1997](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BML1997/pseuds/BML1997)


End file.
